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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that life is too expensive?

236 replies

Gffbjjgfddbjkkm · 01/06/2025 11:46

Feel so frustrated.

I work full-time teaching in one of the most expensive schools in the world. DH works full time too. We each earn about £40k.

I'm having to take on a weekend job, just to be able to scrape by to afford to send DS to university next year. Who wants to work seven days a week?!

Would love a really decent holiday, but can't afford that.

I'm sick of working so hard work with nothing but financial stress. Neither of us is likely to inherit much, if anything.

OP posts:
unityfire · 01/06/2025 12:53

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 01/06/2025 11:53

On £80K and you can’t manage you either need to get reduce your outgoings as something is obviously too high or move to a cheaper area or both

Untrue sadly

HostaCentral · 01/06/2025 12:52

We had a single income not much in excess of that, so 40% tax band, no child benefit etc, in the South East, and sent two kids to private school and Uni. We have a large house, two cars, and a holiday every year. Never had any debts. We don't spend much else though tbh.

Needmorelego · 01/06/2025 12:51

Koalafan · 01/06/2025 12:51

20 per month is 240.
That's less than half of 500.

Ooops....I meant a week.

Koalafan · 01/06/2025 12:51

Needmorelego · 01/06/2025 12:14

A week at a Haven park in August is apparently around £500 according to Google.
Maybe if you start saving £10 each (so £20) a month you can go next summer and have money to pay for food etc.

20 per month is 240.
That's less than half of 500.

Elektra1 · 01/06/2025 12:50

@ohbumbagsprivate school holidays tend to start a week earlier than state school (and half terms may have 2 weeks rather than 1). The price of holidays outside private AND state school holidays is significantly less. In the weeks that only private schools have, they are still more expensive. And the state school holiday period is more expensive still.

ByGiddyAquaWriter · 01/06/2025 12:50

40k is pretty low for a top private school- are you just starting out teaching? I’d say most private school teachers without additional responsibilities would be on at least 50k in the top schools

greencartbluecart · 01/06/2025 12:48

So it’s not housing and it’s not childcare costs and you have over 5k a month to live off and are struggling ?

2 or 3 k for your basics including food

where the other 2 to 3 k go?

have you done a spreadsheet and full detailed analysis ?

PickAChew · 01/06/2025 12:48

And it's that credit card debt that is the clincher. Unless it's at 0% it will be costing you a fortune.

TeenLifeMum · 01/06/2025 12:48

You have a tiny mortgage and a decent income, what on earth are you spending money on?!

For most of us it’s about priorities. We can rather have a more expensive house and cars OR holiday. We chose to relocate to a cheaper, but beautiful, area and be able to afford a week all inclusive in the sun or travelling across Canada for 2 weeks, because for us that’s where we get our joy. Sounds like your balance is way off.

ilovesooty · 01/06/2025 12:47

PickAChew · 01/06/2025 12:43

Not really feasible when you're a teacher.

Her holidays will possibly fall outside state school dates.

However choosing to buy a car on a credit card will probably put holidays down the priority list.

MsSquiz · 01/06/2025 12:46

Your income is only relevant to your outgoings.

Maybe try posting your outgoings so people can offer advice, or reduce what you spend?

OhBumBags · 01/06/2025 12:46

PickAChew · 01/06/2025 12:43

Not really feasible when you're a teacher.

It is when you're teaching in a private school.

PickAChew · 01/06/2025 12:43

OhBumBags · 01/06/2025 12:00

You can get some very cheap last minute deals outside of school holidays, especially if you stay in the UK.

Not really feasible when you're a teacher.

ScholesPanda · 01/06/2025 12:41

YANBU OP. £80k isn't massive for a dual income household.

Everything just gets more expensive in this country!

Needmorelego · 01/06/2025 12:38

@Gffbjjgfddbjkkm ok... apologies for my first post but you have a massive income so something has gone wrong somewhere for you.
What is your typical monthly in and out?

ShanghaiDiva · 01/06/2025 12:37

Gffbjjgfddbjkkm · 01/06/2025 12:35

We live in a SE town outside of London, with about £80k left on the mortgage. We have about £8.5k on credit cards - buying a car, paying for school buses etc. Makes me want to throw up.

DS has a Saturday job on minimum wage, younger DS is too young to work. DH is considering tutoring in the evenings.

We're exhausted and frustrated. I'm just so sick of the constant money worry.

£80k is not a large mortgage imo.
what other expenses do you have?

Gffbjjgfddbjkkm · 01/06/2025 12:35

We live in a SE town outside of London, with about £80k left on the mortgage. We have about £8.5k on credit cards - buying a car, paying for school buses etc. Makes me want to throw up.

DS has a Saturday job on minimum wage, younger DS is too young to work. DH is considering tutoring in the evenings.

We're exhausted and frustrated. I'm just so sick of the constant money worry.

OP posts:
ShanghaiDiva · 01/06/2025 12:35

OhBumBags · 01/06/2025 12:19

"In one of the most expensive schools in the world"

I'm guessing (not 100% sure) that private schools don't tend to have exactly the same holidays as state schools?

Ime finish for the summer two weeks before state schools and have an extra week in October or at Easter.

pinotnow · 01/06/2025 12:29

You must live in a very expensive area and/or have a large mortgage or other debts because I earn 10k less than you and only reached this level a couple of years ago and, as a single person, will pay more tax than you. I get nothing from ex either and hewon'tbe contributingtouni costs, but I can definitely afford holidays and certainly won't be doing a weekend job to put ds through uni- he goes this year. Holidays will be less fancy than they have been but it is affordable. I do do exam marking though (also a teacher) - could you and dh do that?

I do think life is more expensive now, of course, but there's often more to it when you hear drastic stories like this.

Needmorelego · 01/06/2025 12:23

WiganWheel · 01/06/2025 12:19

@Needmorelego don’t be a git.

I know.....I shouldn't have 😬
But. Really. £80 thousand a year is a massive income. It really is.

OhBumBags · 01/06/2025 12:19

BusterGonad · 01/06/2025 12:15

They are both teachers I think. So not an option.

"In one of the most expensive schools in the world"

I'm guessing (not 100% sure) that private schools don't tend to have exactly the same holidays as state schools?

WiganWheel · 01/06/2025 12:19

@Needmorelego don’t be a git.

anyolddinosaur · 01/06/2025 12:16

Do you own your own home - if yes can you extend your mortgage to help your son out? Is he working in the school holidays at least, even if he cant find a part time job in term time? Why is it you taking on a weekend job and not Ds and.or Dh?

Yes life is expensive and it's got harder for all of us to afford the things we used to have. So we cut back on the non-essential.

During covid one of my relatives did "holidays at home" where they watched foreign films, ate food appropriate to that country. learnt a few words of the language.

BusterGonad · 01/06/2025 12:15

OhBumBags · 01/06/2025 12:00

You can get some very cheap last minute deals outside of school holidays, especially if you stay in the UK.

They are both teachers I think. So not an option.

Needmorelego · 01/06/2025 12:14

A week at a Haven park in August is apparently around £500 according to Google.
Maybe if you start saving £10 each (so £20) a month you can go next summer and have money to pay for food etc.