To think that life is too expensive?

You have a tiny mortgage. You should have lots of spare money

People hate on Dave Ramsey, but I swear the baby steps and the zero-based budget - it works.

On your income with your low mortgage and no childcare you should be able to manage , to save rather than buy the car on credit card

so you need to look much more closely to find out what you are doing wrong

it may just be that you fritter - lots of little things like regular takeaways and a bad amazon habit

or it may be you have sone expensive habits that mean you have chosen to spend your money and now wonder why you don’t have any left - spending a few hundred on beauty each month or expensive golf clubs

Okay so you’re quite new to the profession. I know a teacher in a private school in the SE who is on considerably more than £40k, but he’s 10+ years into his career. So your pay will go up in the coming years, especially if you take on additional responsibilities.

Are all the clubs and activities essential? Where are you shopping?

80k seems like a huge income to me.

This 👆 Sit down with a cup of tea and get your bank statement up. Go through every single outgoing. What is necessary? Mortgage, bills and food are absolutely necessary. Anything after that, question if you actually needed it. I know it's hard but sometimes you have to be ruthless if you want your money to last. I'm going through the same thing myself to counteract the rising cost of living. I expect a lot of us are.

Is your son applying for student finance? It shouldn't be the responsibility of parents to put a child through university. I think those days are gone. Tuition fees are so expensive now and a lot of parents put themselves under pressure to fund it. Sorry I don't have any other answers for you. It's tough out there and cutbacks are slowly becoming the norm.

What clubs and activities do your children do?
If your eldest is has a job he is old enough to pay towards any hobbies he wants to do.
Your other child - what activities are they doing? Are they something they actually have a passion for? Do they really need to be doing them.

Well, I can pretty much guess where you are to between two towns, both beginning with the same letter, so you might want to ask MN to edit your initial post to avoid being outed.

Unfortunately you are living in an expensive area and at an expensive stage in life. Could you consider taking a live-in role at your school? Schools like yours are big organisations and there may also be additional work you could do, if you take a deep breath and speak confidentially to the bursar.

I would personally rather work for a week or two during the summer than at each weekend. If you are an experienced teacher then a local playscheme or tuition camp would snap you up. If you are used to teaching then you will find the work relatively easy and a week will fly past.

Hope things improve.

You have an income of £80k (!) , almost twice my income and yet I manage. I'm a single mum so I pay my mortgage (Hampshire), everything out of my salary, I'm taking my ds to Greece after his exams, and saving for his university in 2026.

Look carefully at your outgoings. You will be able to economise somewhere.

My toiletries are supermarket basics, I cook from scratch and spend £50-£60 a week for two (plus school dinners). Car is a 7yo secondhand hatch. I'll keep it another 5 years. Phone is a s/h iphone7 on PAYG. TV is freeview.

We don't eat out, socialising is at home/friends, exercise is ParkRun & cycling. Clothes are tidy and professional but some are 20 years old. Nothing goes to waste.

It can be done !!

You need to go for promotion. Look for another job.

How on earth did you manage to get two kids through private school.on 80k?! It costs 20k per year to put one through a bog standard one where I live, and that's obviously after you've paid tax on your earnings so you'd need to earn a min of 45k just for that for two!

OP life is expensive, and shit a lot of the time

Download YNAB. Use it.
You need to know to the last penny what your money is doing for you. And your spending.

Take an evening to go through all your direct debits. Make a note of when things are out if contract.

Log in to all suppliers and check balances and readings. Every month.

Moneysaving expert is a good website with a great forum.

Get your credit report and balance transfer 0% onto a 0% card. Even if its only 500.

Get your money sorted out, and then once its under control, look at holidays next year, and work it out. Ie tesco club card points pay for our euro train every year without fail. What's a decent holiday, for you all? Start planning. Stop worrying and sort it out. You're in a spiral.

Yes it is expensive, utilities cost more, food prices keep rising etc etc. But then I also think people have a lot of luxuries they consider essentials, which aren't really essentials at all. Expensive phone contracts, multiple streaming services, £100 sky tv packages, various subscriptions, gym membership, new cars.

Unless your credit card is on 0% interest then I’d very seriously suggest looking at taking out a personal loan to clear the credit cards completely as the interest rate on cc is abysmal - mine are currently 23% and 35%. And they’re with big name banks.

As hard as it is to do you and husband need to sit down and make a spreadsheet of absolutely everything that is going out - literally every penny, including your Starbucks and avocado toast (TFIC) or your snack when you fill up the car. Husband and I are both awful at money and we’ve had to do this since we finally bought a house 6 months back and it’s amazing how much shit we really do not need to be spending.
Good luck!

you need to get down more specific details before you can find out where you are spending more than most people would - I would never list phones and various insurances as a particular significant cost for example

Firstly, I am sorry you are stressed - regardless of the numbers involved, worrying about money especially when you already work full time so have limited more to give to earn more is horrible.

It does sound like there’s probably a lot of wiggle room to get your expenses down though - what debt do you have? Are the credit cards 0%? Have you drawn up ins and outs and really challenged?

We are fortunate to be a high income household but with 3 kids it doesn’t go as far as I want it to 🙈 we had to get strict with ourselves and were amazed at all the little £10/£20 on things and how it added up.

@Gffbjjgfddbjkkm why are you only earning £40k? DD is 27, two years qual, teaches at a private secondary and is on £42.5k. She supplements that with tutoring in the evenings and the holidays for an extra £150pw. Also in the SE.

I sympathise with you. I earn £70k and have a £97k mortgage with 1 DS about to go to university and wonder where the money goes. However, we are lucky in that we saved for DS since he was baby and we have holidays abroad.

You get 2 tax allowances so you should be better off. I would go through all outgoing for the leak. Possibly the children's activities and spending money? Teens are expensive - phones, tablets, laptops, shoes, etc.

Good for you. 🫣

I agree - 40k isn't even close to the higher rate tax threshold so is very much an average wage.

Well it's better than £80k for a single income household with the same amount of teenagers. I agree it's not massive but it should be possible to have an annual holiday and not be lying awake at night worrying.

Tutoring is a good call and I imagine in am area like that and your dh working for this renowned school demand will be high and he'll be able to charge a decent amount. I would also look at exam marking - people moan about the hourly rate but you do end up with a good lump sum, which for me, gives me my summer spending money.