To think that life is too expensive?

You need to list all your outgoings and go through bank and credit card statements for the past year. Is your debt on interest free credit cards? If not can you switch? Work out first where your money is going and then you can look at what you can cut out. Holidays might have to be camping if you can borrow the stuff or a youth hostel or house swap.

Maybe not the type of holiday you’re looking for but we are a family of 4 and search for cheap city breaks (not packages, booking through booking.com for hotels and finding cheap deals on SkyScanner) - we always manage to find something for less than 500 for us all in Europe. We also make sure we link our Avios account and go through it for booking.com / get your guide / viator and the points accumulate and we’re hoping to get free long haul reward flights soon.

I've not really looked tbh, but I can quite believe you're correct.

We're a family of 5 (two adults, one teen and two 9 year olds) and we spend about £120 a week on food. All meals cooked from scratch, around 50/50 vegetarian/meat, and that includes breakfast and packed lunches. I shop with Ocado.

I order a large OddBox of fruit/veg every week then base meals around this. A main meal costs around £10 to make, then usually 2 portions left over for adult lunches. We eat really well and good quality food. I'm not sure I could spend more.

Last week was ratatouille with baked spuds (v), chili con carne, home made pizzas (v), omelette (v), roast chicken, pesto pasta with green beans (V) and sausages and mash.

The £3000 leftover is more than enough to cover insurance, phones, car maintenance, petrol etc... There is definitely something that doesn't add up.

We do too. I have the Monzo app. Lifechanging.
It has pots for different spends.

You can keep a record of where the ‘rest’ goes. We have a budget for everything: utilities, council tax, Xmas gifts, food, travel, petrol etc. and therefore can see where we are overspending or where prices have increased dramatically. So if we overspend in one area, we need to cut back in another. I do appreciate that not everyone runs their finances in this way..!

I'm sorry but on 80k combined you have many options available to you which people like me on disability benefits don't.
You could
Downsize/ move to a cheaper area
change cars
meal plan and buy cheaper groceries
Sign up for every discount code/ loyalty scheme available
Buy secondhand wherever possible before looking for sales to buy new
swap broadband/ mobile/ energy providers
Go through bank accounts and see if there's anything you can cut costs for.. eg Netflix or other streaming services
Only fresh air is free nowadays. It's a bit shit but there are still ways to have a decent standard of living.
My DS1 gets a free hot drink at Greggs code from his mobile provider( Voxi) so he sends me one for when I collect my monthly prescription.

On mn people always say ‘where does the rest go?’ - in real life your child comes home and says we need this book, or we’re going on a school tour, or they’ve lost x, y or z, your car has broken down or run out of oil, you’ve a plumbing incident, you thought you had more heating and then it goes etc etc. Life would be great if it were just mortgage/ rent, bills, food etc

@Beesandhoney123 You have to get smarter with your money. I thought I was until I went through money expert a day to go through bills thing and started using Ynab. And using the debt free wannabe forum.

I will have a look at these.

I've started using the envelope budgeting method, which so far seems to work well.

@MyCyanReaderfamily of 4 (3 adults and one teen I think) for £125 a week?! Where are you shopping?! We spend nearly double that, vegetarians, don’t drink alcohol or buy snacks / processed stuff… I don’t know many people that would be able to spend that little on food anymore without seriously compromising the quality. You also didn’t add in things like insurance, phones, stuff the kids need like sports fees, new shoes, new tyres for the car, MOT etc etc. Our council tax and utilities and £500 a month for a small 3 bed.

OP we are on similar income and there isn’t much left - I’ve taken on more hours to help with uni fees too. While it isn’t solely our responsibility, there is a certain expectation that parents make up the missing 5k or so per year - in most cases this still isn’t enough so DS will still have to work his way through.

Bills we can do nothing about - apart from voting! Are astronomically high. Council tax for example.

Mortgage has doubled through interest rises. Through no spare cash, you end up with a higher debt ratio then you can't get a 0% credit card deal!

You have to get smarter with your money. I thought I was until I went through money expert a day to go through bills thing and started using Ynab. And using the debt free wannabe forum.

Blimey. We'd been unknowingly throwing it away:)

She has already said she works in a school.

Can OP's DS commute?

Where are you getting that from?

Forbes says the median UK salary for 2024 is 37,430.

https://www.forbes.com/uk/advisor/business/average-uk-salary-by-age/

@MidnightMeltdown Average full time income in 2024 was about 46k and it will probably be higher this year, so they are both on below average salaries.

Where on earth did you get that figure from? £46k is a relatively high salary and is definitely not "average."

No it wasn't and isn't.

The median salary for the UK is £37K

ONS statsfor 2024

@HopscotchBanana Two people on minimum wage is just under £60k.

No. Assuming someone on a minimum hourly rate is doing 8 hours a day and 5 days a week, two people on minimum wage would come out as about £50k.

Average full time income in 2024 was about 46k and it will probably be higher this year, so they are both on below average salaries.

You comment as if they are rolling in it!

It's a little by the by, as it's not what OP asked, but I do disagree.
I was teaching in a private school in the 70s. Fees then were accessible to more parents IMO although some did make sacrifices.

But by the time my own kids were at secondary school, the fees were around £25Kpa ( local good indie schools) so you'd need around £40K gross to fund that, and £80K gross for 2 kids.

Our income was into 6 figures and although we could have sent one child to an indie, not two. Mortgage rates hit 15% at that time too.

Depending on he schools, you must have been earning close to £150K together and maybe a low housing cost?

Not a chance i'd be getting a "weekend job" to send my child to uni.

You have a good income, so the obvious answer is that your outgoings are too high. Which doesn't make sense given that your mortgage is low. What are your outgoings?

Hahaha.... Nope. DD1 started 2001 in primary, DD2 2007, in primary, both sent to private secondaries, DD2 final year at University now. Our salaries have gone up and down in that time obviously, I worked initially, then gave up work. DH has had good jobs, bad jobs, made redundant, other jobs, self employed, salary up and down like a yo/yo. We have moved house in that time too. You name it, its happened.

Note..... I didn't say we were on the SAME salary, we were on more, but taxed more, and no benefits, due to the drop off.

Can you give us an income/expenses breakdown, OP? £40k each can break down differently depending on pension contributions, if you’re still repaying student loans, taxable benefits like private healthcare for the one teaching in private school?

Your mortgage is pretty small – by comparison we have a similar household income in the SE and ours is £273,000 😭. What’s the breakdown of council tax, energy, water, TV/internet/streaming, insurance – our health and critical illness cover is horrendous thanks to some pre-existing conditions. And how much are repayments on the £9k credit cards? Is there something that can be cut? Or something you’re missing - go through statements ruthlessly.

Second Haven holidays. We’ve got four night for £250 at the end of august; with food, parking, tickets and treats on a strict budget should total £500 for the week (we’re making a day out of the trip down and back), albeit we have National Trust membership to take the edge off days out.

I am well aware of the cost of holidays in half term but on 80 grand a year im sure
they can afford a haven holiday in the uk even if its £700
Or do as we now do when we book abroad with jet 2 pay a deposit then pay it off monthly , book early enough and theres over a year to pay it off
Or just dont have a holiday and save for one next year or the year after. We went for approx 15 years without one and saved up to have our first holiday abroad last year

The OP will get about £30,000 after income tax and national insurance. She won’t get any of the other things you get when on UC. Presumably your children have a father. Did he ever help with their costs or with housing costs? Do you get any help with housing or utility bills. My utility bills and council tax come to thousands of pound a year. I don’t see how you can afford a holiday on that.