Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that very few people experience deep, true romantic love and that some people go through life never having truly been in love?

28 replies

BeDeepKhakiRobin · 01/06/2025 11:04

I sometimes wonder if real, deep romantic love is actually quite rare. A lot of people are in relationships because of convenience, compatibility or even just fear of being alone rather than because they are truly, deeply in love. I think many people mistake affection, attraction or attachment for love but real love - the kind that changes you, consumes you and feels almost transcendent - is something only a few people ever experience.

And then there are those who might never experience it at all. Not because there’s anything wrong with them but just because the right circumstances or person never came along.

AIBU to think that love, at least in its deepest form, is much rarer than people like to admit?

OP posts:
ProudCat · 01/06/2025 11:07

Love, in its deepest form, is totally irrational. People don't like being irrational. To be fair, it's not really a plan. Mostly, folks want a reasonably stable life based on informed choices and shared goals.

That said, proposed to my husband on our first date, booked the wedding eight weeks later, married for 35 years, we're happy. We were very young.

IgneousSedimentary · 01/06/2025 11:07

Well, what exactly do you mean by ‘real, deep romantic love’? Why would it be any ‘realer’ than the other types of love and attachment you seem to be regarding as inferior? Where are you getting your information on this ‘real, deep, romantic love’ from?

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 01/06/2025 11:07

I'm not sure how anyone would know. Everyone has experienced a version of love (probably), but how can I tell whether mine is deeper or less deep than yours?

I think if you have a series of relationships, then find "the one" and fall deeply in love, there's a relativity, but even then you probably wouldn't truly know until years or more into the relationship.

Swipe left for the next trending thread