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Original poster

Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

595 replies

Doanythingtostartalloveragain · 01/06/2025 09:29

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

OP posts:
faerietales · 02/06/2025 12:45

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 12:24

@TaggieO

it is early, let’s be honest!

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And if she thinks it’s too early she’s free to stay in bed and catch up on her sleep 🙈.

Farmwifefarmlife · 02/06/2025 12:31

Doanythingtostartalloveragain · 01/06/2025 11:11

I don’t want to muscle in on it, but when it’s both days, back around lunch, then after lunch she is with friends, that is most of the day gone.
They take the car, so I can’t go out anywhere

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Ask him to it one morning I.e Saturday and you plan a family day out on the Sunday ? It’s really not that hard? I’d love it if DH took the kids out early one morning a week! He probably thinks he’s doing something nice letting you have a lie in quiet morning.

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 12:24

TaggieO · 02/06/2025 11:53

She has a young child. I don’t think anyone wants to get up at the weekend but newsflash - we have to adapt to what works for our family. 7:30 is hardly that early!

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@TaggieO

it is early, let’s be honest!

TaggieO · 02/06/2025 11:53

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 09:11

@TaggieO

she doesn’t want to. It’s a weekend ! Who wants to be getting up at 7.30am as if they’re off to work!

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She has a young child. I don’t think anyone wants to get up at the weekend but newsflash - we have to adapt to what works for our family. 7:30 is hardly that early!

faerietales · 02/06/2025 11:47

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 11:43

@faerietales

lots of parents do it so their six year old just spends a bit of time reading or playing in their bedroom
for a bit rather than the household getting up at 6am or whatever.

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I think most six year olds would rather be at the park with their dad instead of entertaining themselves while their parents sleep.

Personally I can’t understand why OP is kicking up such a fuss - having a lie-in and a morning to yourself while your partner deals with the the kids sounds perfect to me!

faerietales · 02/06/2025 11:43

Tbry24 · 02/06/2025 10:55

It’s not it’s a nice thing.

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What’s a nice thing? Confused

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 11:43

faerietales · 02/06/2025 11:42

And who would look after the six year old when both parents are in bed?

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@faerietales

lots of parents do it so their six year old just spends a bit of time reading or playing in their bedroom
for a bit rather than the household getting up at 6am or whatever.

faerietales · 02/06/2025 11:42

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 11:28

Maybe OP’s husband should also be having a lie in if he’s falling asleep in the afternoon…

And who would look after the six year old when both parents are in bed?

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 11:42

Sofiewoo · 02/06/2025 11:34

Leaving a 6 year old alone for hours because nether of them want to get up with her sounds like such a shit home life for a young child.

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@Sofiewoo

but lots of parents do it so their six year old just spends a bit of time reading or playing in their bedroom
for a bit rather than the household getting up at 6am or whatever. That’s not shit.

Sofiewoo · 02/06/2025 11:34

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 11:28

Maybe OP’s husband should also be having a lie in if he’s falling asleep in the afternoon…

Leaving a 6 year old alone for hours because nether of them want to get up with her sounds like such a shit home life for a young child.

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 11:28

Maybe OP’s husband should also be having a lie in if he’s falling asleep in the afternoon…

Sofiewoo · 02/06/2025 11:19

Tbry24 · 02/06/2025 10:55

It’s not it’s a nice thing.

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One on one quality time with your parent isn’t a nice thing?

Tbry24 · 02/06/2025 11:01

Doanythingtostartalloveragain · 01/06/2025 14:10

He goes out or falls asleep

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Ok now I read this bit maybe it’s a DH thing. Is he spending anytime with you at all? If he’s out each morning with DD then comes in and goes out I don’t see how he’s spending anytime with you and yes I’d feel excluded then as well.

Tbry24 · 02/06/2025 10:55

faerietales · 02/06/2025 10:33

Because this is MN where a man’s place is permanently in the wrong.

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It’s not it’s a nice thing.

Tbry24 · 02/06/2025 10:55

One weekend get up early on one of the days and join them then the next weekend once they are home you all go out for the afternoon. Family day not friends day.

faerietales · 02/06/2025 10:33

CurlewKate · 02/06/2025 09:37

Nobody has yet explained why the dad and dd can’t enjoy some time together.

Because this is MN where a man’s place is permanently in the wrong.

Mistyglade · 02/06/2025 10:22

I’m struggling to understand how this is a bad thing op.

JFDIYOLO · 02/06/2025 10:17

Get up earlier and go with them.

Do what your husband's doing and arrange something to do as a family.

Book time with them. This is going to get harder as she gets older and develops her own life, so get into the habit.

Or enjoy the quiet time and get on with things.

Anything, but stop sitting around passively moping.

Sofiewoo · 02/06/2025 10:14

CurlewKate · 02/06/2025 09:37

Nobody has yet explained why the dad and dd can’t enjoy some time together.

Dad is “excluding” OP for on a weekend morning because he has the audacity to do something to occupy his child while the OP sleeps but OP isn’t excluding the father any time she does something after school with DD while dad works 🤦‍♀️

CurlewKate · 02/06/2025 10:12

justkeepswimingswiming · 02/06/2025 09:42

Just get up & go with them? It’s you choosing to sleep in, not them.

Why? Why can’t they have some time together?

NoNewsisGood · 02/06/2025 10:07

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 01/06/2025 09:42

Nah, you'd be wrong to change this. They like to wake up early and it's their weekly special time together.

Just find some other time to have special time with your DD or family time.

This

faerietales · 02/06/2025 10:00

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 09:44

@faerietales

why?

And why would they need to sit around waiting?

Surely they both have stuff to be getting on with to allow Op to have a shower and a drink?? The parks not going anywhere is it?!

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Presumably they don’t want to stay home though - they want to get out, go to the park and have breakfast. They shouldn’t have delay their plans just because OP would rather have a lie-in.

OP can get up and join them if she doesn’t want to feel excluded, or she can enjoy a quiet, lazy morning at home and they can do something as a family in the afternoon.

Lookingforwardto2025 · 02/06/2025 09:58

I have found that as DS gets older I have to find ways to connect with him and deliberately plan our time together. It was easy when he was tiny and always with me but now I have to go to him.

He is very close with DH and they have lots in common so I have had to find my own things to do with him. DH doesn't like bowling or swimming so those are now mine and DS' things together. I also make sure to have a show or something that we are watching together without DH (the Harry Potter films at the moment).

I think you just have to be a lot more proactive so let DH and DD go out on a Saturday morning as that is their thing. Then let DD play with her friends in the afternoon as she enjoys it. Use the time for you and DH to catch up on housework and do your hobbies.

Sunday morning get up and take DD out somewhere the two of you. Come back, have lunch and then the afternoon is a family activity such as boardgames, family film, cycle ride etc.

Cherrytree86 · 02/06/2025 09:44

faerietales · 02/06/2025 09:38

I haven’t once said it was virtuous - just that you can’t expect people to sit about and wait for you if you choose to stay in bed.

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@faerietales

why?

And why would they need to sit around waiting?

Surely they both have stuff to be getting on with to allow Op to have a shower and a drink?? The parks not going anywhere is it?!

faerietales · 02/06/2025 09:43

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/06/2025 09:38

Surely to goodness it’s fairly uncontroversial that 8 is early to be out the door on the weekend?

Even for the competitive early risers on here

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I don’t think 8 is that early when you have a small child who’s probably been awake for a good couple of hours already.

And I’m far from a competitive early riser - I wasn’t awake until almost 10 yesterday.

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