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Original poster

Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

595 replies

Doanythingtostartalloveragain · 01/06/2025 09:29

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 02/06/2025 20:04

MSport · 02/06/2025 19:37

Get up early and go with them, problem solved.

Show quote history

No. The OP’s dd will lose her time with her dad. So problem not remotely solved.

Subbyhubby · 02/06/2025 19:38

Have you tried also getting up and going with them? You could set an alarm or ask dh to wake you when he gets up too. It’s a tiny bit less sleep, but you’d be surprised how much more you get done if you start the day early!

MSport · 02/06/2025 19:37

Doanythingtostartalloveragain · 01/06/2025 09:29

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

Get up early and go with them, problem solved.

12daysofchristmas12 · 02/06/2025 19:34

Doanythingtostartalloveragain · 01/06/2025 09:38

Often it’s not that early by the time they come back it’s lunchtine, after lunch all the kids play

Couldn’t you go and meet them once you’re up, if they’re out that long?

pizzaHeart · 02/06/2025 19:21

I think you should approach it from proactive point of view - this Saturday we are doing this and this and have a word with DH in advance.
The problem is not them going to a playground, the real problem is that DD is too young to do a lot in one day plus they leave you without car so you can’t do much.
It’s good that they have their own thing but 2 half days on a playground sounds a bit too much.
Do you think it’s an easier way for DH ? E.g he is on his phone while DD is playing and then sleeps in the afternoon.

maddening · 02/06/2025 19:11

I would start making a plan for the weekends to plan in family time personally.

GiveDogBone · 02/06/2025 19:07

Jeez, you don’t get to impose your waking up routine in the rest of the house, how selfish! If they’re up and about, they’re perfectly entitled to go out and do something together rather than hang around at home until you surface.

Buffs · 02/06/2025 19:03

Have your coffee then meet them at the playground or take your coffee with you.

CurlewKate · 02/06/2025 18:48

Oh, please don’t go with them!

calmingpompoms · 02/06/2025 18:42

Christ it’s not rocket science. Just get up and go.

LauraP32 · 02/06/2025 18:40

How about you organise something for Saturday evening?

5pm - cinema, or movie night at home (get popcorn in), or book a restaurant.

Or do a film night or a board game on a Friday evening.

Or if she's into it - a Mummy/daughter pamper type session on a Sunday evening - oat face mask sort of thing.

hcee19 · 02/06/2025 18:39

Put your alarm on and get up, then you can go with them....

Disturbia81 · 02/06/2025 18:32

Let them have their time together and then keep her in and chill together the rest of the day. Why does she have to play out?

CurlewKate · 02/06/2025 18:28

I can just imagine the look on my DD’s face if I had butted in on her outings with her dad……

Miyagi99 · 02/06/2025 18:20

Can you not plan something for the afternoon every other weekend or something? Your DD should not dictate what you do as a family every weekend.

Blablibladirladada · 02/06/2025 18:08

if DH dibs on Saturday then dibs on Sunday but…you will have to do what DD likes so if she is an early riser…you might have to get up!

Otherwise go one of the day and sleep in the other one?

raspberrieswithchocolate · 02/06/2025 18:05

coxesorangepippin · 02/06/2025 18:02

400 posts in and we still don't know the age of the child

The OP said her child is 6.

Babyboomtastic · 02/06/2025 18:05

Doanythingtostartalloveragain · 01/06/2025 13:34

Sorry, 6 and not days off, but after school, yes

Show quote history

Yes she did. Child is 6.

irregularegular · 02/06/2025 18:04

I also agree that you could make plans for a family outing for at least one of the days. The playing out just has to fit around that. At some point it's not worth making children go on outings that they are not initially keen on, but your DD sounds like she is still quite young and would probably be more than happy to go out with you if you just got on and did it rather than giving her the choice.

irregularegular · 02/06/2025 18:02

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. What time are they going? Are you not willing to get up at that time to go with them, if it is important to you? Could you talk to them about a compromise where they go just slightly later?

coxesorangepippin · 02/06/2025 18:02

400 posts in and we still don't know the age of the child

JJMama · 02/06/2025 18:00

Doanythingtostartalloveragain · 01/06/2025 09:29

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

Get out of bed then?! Non event.

faerietales · 02/06/2025 14:11

Sofiewoo · 02/06/2025 12:48

I guarantee if this was the other way around absolutely no one would be telling a woman she should spend 2 hours at home completing CHORES with her 6 year old rather than going out for coffee and the park because her DH “wants to go” but on his terms and after his lie in. No one should wake him but no one should have any fun without him while he sleeps in.

100%. It’s batshit how much people will insist the man is in the wrong, no matter what 🤣

NotSoSlimShadee · 02/06/2025 12:55

Anyone remember the thread where the OP would lay in bed all morning barking orders at her husband whilst he ran around trying to get the kids ready for school? And her AIBU was that she said he deliberately disturbed her whilst doing this? 😂

Sofiewoo · 02/06/2025 12:48

I guarantee if this was the other way around absolutely no one would be telling a woman she should spend 2 hours at home completing CHORES with her 6 year old rather than going out for coffee and the park because her DH “wants to go” but on his terms and after his lie in. No one should wake him but no one should have any fun without him while he sleeps in.