Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

Not really helpful. But keeping in with the mumsnetty type of tone...

OP said the child was 6 quite a few posts back.

So walk then

It’s not obvious you can’t go out. Just tell her , she’s 6. Tell her she’s not playing out today because you’re going out. You’re in charge.

Are you serious? Literally everyone who works a regular day job, or goes to school is up by 7:30 every day. It’s not early. It’s normal. In fact, statistically the average wake up time in the uk is 7:05 so 7:30 is practically a lie in.

Why not leave them.to their Daddy/daughter time for o morning, then plan to have quality family time on the other day - lunch, a film, shopping trip etc.
I think you should have been able to work this out already OP. They shouldn't have to fit round you - you need to talk to the family and work out what works for everyone

This really makes sense

What time are you ready? Go then? Text to ask where they are and meet them? Go for lunch together 😄

Why don't families sold time together any more?

I think people are being quite harsh here. The way I see it, in the past things as a family only got done because you arranged it. Now, they have something they do just them, and haven’t included you, and as nice as it is for them, it makes you feel unwanted and like you don’t get any time as a family unless you are the one arranging it. Sometimes it’s nice to have something done for you. Your husband can clearly arrange things since he does it with dd every weekend, so it probably feels abit crap that he’s going to those lengths every weekend without even thinking about it for dd but is forgetting to include you in any plans, when the other way round you arranged things for all of you. You are kind of damned really because DD enjoys it so ofcourse you don’t want to spoil that but I think it would be nice to be included in the plans sometimes. I’d maybe have a conversation with him, and either say you would like to join but maybe do it an hour later some Saturdays/sundays? Or maybe every other weekend you can all plan on doing something as a family, and lay the responsibility across both of you, so it’s not just on you. These feelings are probably so heightened if you are peri so hopefully you can speak to someone about that and get some medication to help with the symptoms as it’s probably making everything feel so much worse. Xx

Make a plan! This weekend, as them to be home no later than, eg., 11, as you have got plans to go for lunch/to the cinema/wherever together. She really doesn’t need to play with friends every day of every weekend,

I think it’s ok to feel down about the weekends. It means you need to change something. If I don’t plan out the weekend ahead of time I get fed up/lost. Why don’t you suggest to meet them at the park when you are ready after they have had an hour together and say you are going for brunch. take a Board game or cards to the cafe/pub.
or can you say you all need to pop to town to get new shoes/summer stuff, what ever if you enjoy that and have mooch/stop for ice cream.
Sunday plan an outing to cinema /swimmming /national trust.
doyou arrange play dates or days out with her friends and their mums?
you need to actively manage the family plans for the weekend. Good luck

This is a bit harsh. Some people are just not ‘morning larks’ and have a different ‘body clock’. It’s a BIOLOGICAL thing and they actually can’t change it. But this is where alarm clocks are really helpful! Does DP or DD use them? They can be a bit of a game changer if you need to get up for something and just don’t have the energy. I can’t recommend enough OP if the issue revolves around you not being able to get up.
if it’s another issue like childcare, then that’s a different story really.

OP, talk to your DH. You say u won’t, as don’t want to ruin it for dd, but, you are not happy! Tell DH this!!!! Speak up. Course they can have their time but also surely can fit in family time as a three!!! Solution, they get up early and do their thing on one morn of the weekend. Then you can have a lazy morning. You talk about this to DH and make a plan. Then on weekend morning 2 you do something together, tell DH n DD it’s not negotiable, no sneaking off. Plus why’s a 6 yo ruling the roost. She does not have to play out with street friends BOTH afternoons of the weekend. Stick to one only. Not fair that you are the one staying in the house, supervising kids running in n out. Again you’ve made a rod for your back not speaking up, and DH needs to take his turn. But only do this playing out once a weekend. The other afternoon do a family activity

If she’s enough energy to play out with friends she’s enough energy to go out on an activity. She may not want to but kids often have a great time even when they think they don’t want to do something. Family time is also important, so you as the adult can decide whether you think family time is more important than playing out everyday at the weekend and then say that’s what you are doing. Also her needs aren’t the only needs that should be considered here. If you want family time then you can insist that’s what is going to happen. Family is about balancing needs and wants, not always just doing what children think they want.

Exactly.

I'm very perplexed by this thread. The OP clearly said her daughter doesn't see her dad much during the week and enjoys her weekend mornings with him. Why would she want to insert herself into that? There's nothing wrong with them having time that's just the two of them.

WTF ? Nobody it's making you to stay in bed FFS!

Why would you keep a kid indoors to do nothing rather than play with her friends. That's crazy

By all means if you have plans to go out or have people over than the friends dake a back seat

I am thinking this too! 9 year old and a 6 month old…can’t even go to the loo alone here!
OP, go with them or use the time for yourself! It’s healthy for her to build relationships with her dad, friends etc and for you to have time by yourself. Even if you don’t want to go as early why don’t you let them have an early start and meet them an hour later after you have had your coffee/lie in?

You contradict yourself. You say if they waited for you to get a coffee and ready you’d go but then say they’re excluding you. If you want to go - get up earlier

Get your lazy arse up and go with them! 8am isn’t that early

This!
alarms are great, I’ve got one on my phone and TWO others in our room. They all are set to slightly different times but since I’ve had them, I get things done and am usually never late

8am is not early! I’m the opposite of a morning person, but with a child you need to get up for things - and getting out of the house at 8am is very normal (playgroups, football, swimming lessons etc). I suggest you set your alarm for 7am, get ready and head out with them! If you then find that there’s an issue eg DH doesnt want you there, then thats a different issue to deal with.

Well organise time she doesn't go out. Going out every weekend is not a must. Once a month the weekend is set as a family.
Get yourself up and go so some shopping / window shopping/ coffee.

I have been in your shoes it’ hurts a lot my dc would say I don’t want her there which broke my heart but he felt I was stricter than dad so he got what he wanted like sweets drinks etc without me saying that is enough. I agree with other pp make arrangements to do something different on the alternative day or tell dd your doing something so friends can be another day. You can’t live your life around her choices every weekend. you decide when your staying in or going out I would speak to your dh about it also tell him it hurts you. and can they only do it the sat or Sunday but not both also do something fun with her yourself dad’s always come across as the fun parent whilst mum does chores or whatever she’s 6 do it now before the teenager arrives.