Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

I think it’s a thing they want to do just them

Is this the real issue OP?

I think this is getting lost in the ''really early'' debate and the ''my first coffee isn't until........o clock'' competitive martyr mantra.

Going out before you get up avoids the awkward situation of trying to get out without you. For very specific reasons, I did things alone with my Dad that I never did (and preferred not to do) with my mother. She hated it but we never stopped and never would have.

Either get up earlier and go with them (and no 8 is not too early) - or organise some fun family activity that includes all of you and let them know in advance.

I see it's 3 miles away and you don't have a car, you could cycle? Otherwise as many have suggested, get up earlier one of the days.

Get up a bit later and go join them

If you’re that bothered get yourself out of bed and join them. Or just ask them to wait. Not really that difficult.

Obvious solutions...

1. Get up and go with them
2. Arrange specific plans and actually communicate that with them e.g. next weekend shall we all go to X place?
3. Find a way to utilise and enjoy your alone time

Mix and match all the above.

I don't get this.,.. do you speak with either of them?
For example, it's 7am you hear them getting up and ready. Go ask if they can wait 20 mins and you'll come with them?

Or, after lunch when friends come to play, say to your daughter 'ah sorry (name) I'd like to do something with you this afternoon so you can't play out today'.

Or have a word with them before the weekend and suggest a place you'd like to go and make a plan.

Why are you being so passive about all this?

When they are out at the park can't you call them and ask them to come get you?

This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.
I think you’re the only person in the world missing work and important events because they don’t set an alarm… because it never occurred to them??

She did several times. Look at her posts at 11.05 and 11.11.
A few people suggested to OP to go somewhere e.g shopping and that’s when she explained the car situation.

They do. But time with one parent is a really valuable and important thing.

no I just mean, I never used to use the alarm function and would sleep in lots. I just stopped doing it when the dc came because would get up lots. I missed meetings, catch ups, sometimes even late for work until DP bought me a new alarm clock from TKMAX for Xmas one year. Since then it’s been easy. Sometimes a problem seems impossible until someone points you in the right direction, and then once you look back you think - that was such an easy fix! I’m just trying to offer a positive solution. That’s all.

As someone whose exDP lay in bed all morning and left me to it, I'd have loved this arrangement!

I'd crack on with the housework, washing etc while they're out, then have some weekends where I'd arrange to take dd to the cinema, farm, museum, bowling, shopping, etc etc in the afternoon.

Eh? It’s a very valid suggestion which op is totally in control of

@pizzaHeart I've read all OPs posts but don't recall her mentioning a car at all. Did I miss something? Either way, you don't need a car in order to be able to 'do something'.

If you do start doing this again, get up earlier and don’t expect people to hang around waiting for you to have your coffee etc. I strongly suspect (and admittedly this is projection) that they got bored of waiting around for you in the mornings and decided they could actually do something with that time themselves. Then it’s evolved from there.

If you then start making arrangements for other things, don’t base them on your routine and still allow them some time. (That bit is advice and not projection)

What a weird comment! I think most of us have heard of this newfangled invention called 'the alarm clock'!

I don’t understand- you said they go to a cafe then the park. Why would you have to have a coffee before you go to a cafe?
If that is a deal breaker just get up 20 mins earlier and join them.

I’m saying this kindly but it sounds (from reading all your posts on this thread) like you are feeling quite down in general. Is this mindset causing you to create barriers which aren’t really there in real life? Or is the way you are feeling causing a general low atmosphere / mood in the house which your DH and DD are escaping?

I fail to see how you have no family time if they go to the playground early and then she is playing with neighbours. Don't you have meals together (lunch and dinner)? for me that's having family time, to sit together around a meal and talk to each other.

You can also keep doing the same if your DD likes it but watch a film together cuddling in the sofa or play a couple of quick games at some point in the afternoon. Surely there is some time for something like this in the day, she can hardly be playing all day non stop.

Also, book a day out in advance every now and then and say 'we are going to the zoo on Saturday in two weeks', as much as she likes the playground, she is not going to complain if you book a nice activity, is she?

It would not take long for you to get up and have a coffee in order to go to the playground with them. It's not as if you need to dress up for it. Just get up half an hour earlier. I'm not sure why you're not doing that. Or are you expecting DH and DD to hang around waiting until you're ready? That would inconvenience two people instead of one. Much easier for you to put yourself out a bit, especially seeing as it's you that wants to go with them.

It’s literally the only helpful action the OP could take.

Not the point of this thread but finding it really depressing that OP lives somewhere where there’s nothing leisure wise she wants to do that doesn’t involve driving somewhere and the nearest playground is 3 miles away….

either this is a souless community or it’s depression. I’d suggest taking advantage of having a morning to yourself by going for a run, a cycle, a walk in nature (look up forest bathing), just a walk with a podcast?

I recently had a bout of depression and I found St John’s wort and increasing my intake of natural probiotics helped (kefir yogurt etc)

I’d love this! Can’t you either be grateful they are spending time together and you get a lie in (if bloody love my OH to do something with our daughter even once!) or just get up? They shouldn’t have to not do something they enjoy because you can’t be bothered to get up! What do you want them to do whilst you sleep? Sit around and wait for you?

God, I'd be thrilled. You do realise that you're the envy of nearly every MNer on here, don't you?

when my daughter was very young my ex wife played hockey every Saturday in the season. Sometimes we’d watch and support her mum but often we’d get the bus into town , go to a bookshop, have lunch out, walk by the canal etc. This time together is some of my happiest memories of raising a child, forming a bond. If no hockey then maybe her mum would come, or we’d do something different or her mum would go and I’d get the lay in. But try not to object to what is a very special time for them, just create some of your own , get up and go with them sometimes. And enjoy the lay in!

Mate, mate, not read anything since your last post. Please, it really, really sounds like you are suffering from depression.
plesae read up online about symptoms and treatments. You can feel better about all of this.