Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

This! I would be more than happy to let them go
personally and have a morning to myself but if she did want to go with them then it really wouldn’t kill them
to go a bit later in the morning. As poster above states - the OP is tired at the weekend (perimenopause can do that). She doesn’t want to set an alarm and rush around to get to the park for 8…for no good reason. She’ll have been getting up early all week. Rest is good!

How would yourDH react if you tell him how you’re feeling, and tell him you’d like to spend a weekend day doing something all together? It sounds like you feel very alone and passive in your relationship.

Well, the thread is mostly about ways of the OP joining in the one on one time!

There is difference between spending the 1-2-1 time with the child and being around when the child plays with some friends.

Is anyone in this thread against the child having some one on one time with the father?

I see it as a thread about the OP being unhappy about the overall way their weekends go, more specifically, about the other things which are missing in their lives.

Why is it fun when he does it and supervision when she does it? Bloody MN hates men.

Has anyone said she should catch up on jobs? If they have then that’s shit of course.

Yeah. Father of the year.

He takes the child out in the morning, has fun and buggers off in the afternoon.
She should catch up on jobs in the morning and supervise the child in the afternoon without actually spending the time with them.

I know you were just being helpful. But seriously, you missed meetings and were late for work until someone else bought you an alarm clock??

Yeah, just get up earlier and go with them. YA definitely BU.

Hello. It sounds like you’re not feeling the best, but things can get better. I am peri and HRT has helped loads although I appreciate it’s not for everyone. Re your DH going out with your DD, there are different paths you could take here and maybe a combo of both would work. When he takes it her out in the morning, there are things you could do for you eg exercise class online, read a book, do hobby stuff, do a course, watch Netflix, sleep in etc. If they go out and you feel flat, alone, with nothing to do apart from housework then that’s something to be addressed more generally. I’d also suggest you talk to your DH about how you are feeling. It seems to me you need to both communicate a bit more eg does he think he’s doing you a favour by giving you that space in the morning? Does he understand how you’re feeling about the park thing and more generally? Maybe they could go to the park and then pick you up for brunch? Maybe go with them and take your coffee in flask some days? Maybe make a decision as a family of an activity to do each weekend? Or do a jar with bits of paper with different ideas (make it together) and your DD pulls one out each and that’s the family activity you do? Maybe agree they do the park thing on Sundays and that’s your lie and treat yourself morning in the week?
Evenings could be movie night at home, games night, make pizzas together, have a walk around the block on a summer evening, etc.
Lots of options and I hope things feel better soon. I know I’ve had times when I’ve felt stuck and everything has felt impossible. Best wishes x

You need something to moan about 😂😂😂

Isn't this what most mums dream of ?
You could plan something for evening like bowling/ cinema / fairground / evening walk now its lighter. Surely if playground age she isn't playing out all afternoon and late into evening

Some dad’s just can’t win!
mums moan when they don’t want to spend alone time with their children and then some moan when they do!
you sound very miserable, could that be the reason why they go out on their own and leave you at home!?
Do you say that you’re tired so they’re letting you have a lay in and some peace!?
maybe use the time you’re on your own to catch up on the jobs around the house!

I find it very strange that so few people think-as I do-that children having one on one time with a parent(providing that’s something they both want) is wholly positive and something to be encouraged.

Yeah it does seem as though he’s getting his time in with DD very early so then he has the rest of the day to do as he pleases (with the car) whilst OP is stuck supervising DD playing with friends.

I think that’s why a chat and some plans would be helpful. But it would also be nice if it came from the DH. If he clocked that it would be nice at some point over the weekend to spend some time together as a family. And planned this.

OP is being berated for not setting an alarm and getting up and out of the door for 8 (for no real reason the park will be there all morning). Yet the DH is superman for getting up and out by 8. Yet he often comes back and sleeps all afternoon….

Everyone has different body clocks- one isn’t better than the other. It annoys me how society is full of praise for larks…

Maybe the OP is tired at the weekend (perimenopause can do that). She doesn’t want to set an alarm and rush around to get to the park for 8…for no good reason. She’ll have been getting up early all week. Rest is good!

I see a different thing there.

It is sad, that the only way you have some family day out is if you plan it. He doesn't bother, he just takes her to breakfast and playground. Which is good, but not if it is the ONLY thing he does.

It would be sooo nice, if he said "let's all go to the zoo tomorrow", just once.

You are entitled to have the sleep you need, not sure why people keep suggesting you should get up with them. On the other hand, you cant make them to stay in bed/ stay in for the time you get up. I think what they are doing is considerate to you.
If you want to do something later with your DD then fish her off the street to do something else.

Just get up and go with them? I don't think you can expect them to sit twiddling their thumbs whilst you sleep in and take your time having a coffee, but your DH can't demand one on one time every weekend morning either (if that's what he's doing, or have you decided yourself that you're not welcome?).

Or tell your six year old that you have plans for the afternoon so she can't play out and do something with her.

I think you are turning this into a big issue when it doesn't need to be.

Husband and dd are up and ready to go at 8am but you want them to wait until you are ready and had a coffee! Aye, ok! You expect them to hang around waiting for you while you faff about. I wouldn't wait either. The point is they want to do it together, father and daughter time, how many dads actually do that, not many, stop trying to make it about you.

Not really the only thing. OP could organise some time with her daughter or a family day out or an evening event instead of just every weekend sitting back and petting her daughter do things without her. She has the rest of the day with her DD but she isn’t bothering.

Not really sure what OP expects when she is not getting involved at all really. It’s bizarre.

Get up at the same time as them.

@Doanythingtostartalloveragain There are loads of options here.
He does one morning with Dd you enjoy the peace then he sleeps so you are child care . You could at this point take Dd out alone (one of the days ) or once dh has a snooze you all go out together .
This could be cinema , meal , bowling .
This still leaves dd the other day to play and some of the afternoon.
Or you enjoy the Saturday morning peace and arrange something for 9/10am for a Sunday day out.

Where does dh go every weekend afternoon?

I understand you feel they should wait for you, but they very obviously like being early birds.

If it’s upsetting you this much, you need to get up early and too.

It sounds great/ideal for your DD playing outside with her friends. I take it’s she’s an only child.

All round, what you already have would be my ideal Saturday.

@Subbyhubby Sorry - I think I perhaps I was showing my age? But I've never met anyone who hasn't used an alarm clock or an alarm on their phone. I actually didn't need one when I was working as my body seemed to have its own built in alarm, but I've relied on them for getting up in the middle of the night to get to airports on time, important meetings etc.i don't see how anyone could get through life without one!