Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

My dp used to take dd and later ds swimming annd breakfast every Saturday early. They used to love creeping round the house so as not to wake me (I’m an early riser so I was always awake!) and sneaking out. It was lovely- I had a morning to myself then our family weekend started at lunchtime.

It seems as if the fact she’s insisting on playing out with her friends all weekend is more the issue than the early morning park visit.
Does she (and dh?) refuse to go on family days out when they return?
why not plan something, let them know a couple of days before then use the time they’re out to get everything ready then once they’re home you can all go out.
The Weekend has two days, she can play with her friends the other day of the weekend surely?

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I'm sure with tenacity you will prevail.

So get up

If you know where they are why don't you just follow on when you're ready and join them then? Bring a coffee with you?

I sense there might be more to this than OP has let on so far.
It seems too simple a thing to fix to be an actual problem, surely?

You are her parent. You tell her what she can and cannot do. One weekend you simply say “we’re having an afternoon out”. Problem solved.

Such an odd thread.

It's not unreasonable to want a lie in at the weekend, but it is unreasonable to expect everyone else to be bound to that. They dont want a lie in, they want to be up and out.

They go to a cafe, so OP could breakfast there, and it's not necessary to put make up on to go to play in a park - and the world wouldn't end if she skipped the shower until later in the day once in a while.

@MargaretThursday

How can you be ready to leave the house in 5mins? surely you can’t even brush your teeth and shower in 5mins?

I'd love that problem. Dh used to do that sometimes (still does when they're at home when adults) but not very often.

But honestly, if it bothers you that much you get up quickly and go without a coffee.

Drives me loopy when I'm getting up early to get on with something, and dh says he'll come too, and then spends half an hour dressing, has breakfast, and oh, let's just get the wash on... and an hour and a half later we're going.
I can be up and out of the house in 5-10 minutes. He faffs around until it's much later and really I'm not in the mood for it any more - my head left the house 90 minutes ago.

I wouldn't want to spend my weekend at home all the time either but equally it's not fair to expect them to hang around for you. Would it be better to plan ahead a bit. Decide with DH that you'll all go to...on Sunday etc. Also if your DH is home in the afternoon then go out yourself. Just say 'I've not been out today yet so am going for a walk/coffee/shop, anyone want to join me?' then go.

Let them have one day and organise something else on the other? One day you can have a lay in and the other get up. There can be some balance, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

8am isn’t early to be getting out of bed really but I do think it’s early to be ready to go out I.e having showered, had breakfast, put make up on etc. for a weekend anyway. It’s not unreasonable to want a lie on a weekend.

I really can't see the issue here. Get up and go with them if you're really all that bothered.

Despite your explanations, I too don't see why them doing this precludes you all having other family time over the weekends. Go out later in the afternoon once DD has had a nap, or just go out the next day. Just arrange it rather than sit moaning that it isn't/hasn't been happening. It won't happen if you don't make it happen. I don't believe DD is all that tired, and if she is then a nap for an hour will surely sort it.

Have you actually spoken to your DH about this?
Could the compromise be that they go off to the playground for an hour and then you join them?
It’s nice that he actually bothers to parent his child to be honest. Tell the neighbours you’re busy and arrange a movie or games afternoon as a family?
There are ways around this ‘problem’!

Why don’t you let them have one morning together and on the other day join them, maybe part way through.

DS and DH would do 1:1 thing for some part of the weekend, as I had more time with DS during the week, when he was little. We would then do something as a family later in or on the other day

FFS what a non-problem. Enjoy your lie in then go and meet them at the park. You get your lie in, they get their early morning in the park together, you all get some family time.

Or is the issue more that you like to be Director of how everyone organises their weekend time - and you're not?

It's good he's really playing his part. I suggest either get up early and go to bed early, or book or arrange something for a day trip or afternoon. Also find a way to enjoy your free time! Maybe use 20 mins to read a good book or exercise.

How about asking them to come back earlier and have an actual plan for the day? "Let's go and see castle/museum/farm/hill tomorrow. Can you be back from the playground by 10, I'll have the bags/a picnic ready and we'll set off then"

I think it’s nice that they have a good bond,I’d leave them to it .

Can't you join them once you're up?

I agree.

OP is not happy but she’s being very passive and not willing to do anything about it.

She wants them to just wait for her to wake up and get ready, instead of her being the one to be ready on time or make a plan for the day.

Why have they got to wait for you? Why can't you fit in with their timings?

But that aside, it's really nice that your daughter is enjoying a bit of one-to-one time with her dad. They grow up quickly and before you know, this won't be a thing any more.

Take the positives from this - good for your daughter, good for DH and also good for you as you get peace and quiet for a bit.

But you could make the effort once a month to get up and go with them if you wanted, or discuss with DH and sort out a regular family activity.

Nope, nope, nope. OP can’t be bothered to get out of bed to go along, that doesn’t meant her DD and DH change their plans. If she wants to get involved then she should, not blame it on others. This is on her. This site is overrun with people whining that their partners don’t do enough and if this was the other way around everyone would be saying the person in bed needs to get up.
OP…this is a you problem.

Get up early at least one of the days instead of moaning about it.