Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

Of course you can go out. She's seven - she doesn't make the rules

Well tell your daughter you have plans! Don't let a child dictate your weekend, say "darling you can't play out/have friends round this weekend as we are going out as a family/having a film afternoon or playing a board game"

And not everyone is like you.

I don't shower before going to work as I work with animals and it would be a pointless waste of time and water. Equally at weekends if I'm going to walk the dog then I'd shower afterwards.

Maybe you should stop judging everyone by your own made-up rules.

I think this is an episode of Bluey...

Do you not have your own personal life/friends/hobbies?

you could use the morning for some gym time or doing an activity you enjoy.

spend a couple afternoons with DH chilling have some private time while dd is out the house

Just get up earlier!

Could you have your lie in and then meet them wherever they are?

I don't shower every morning 🤷

If in a hurry, get up, brush teeth/wash face, clothes on, hair tied back, moisturiser on. 5 mins tops then downstairs. Hot water into thermo mug to prime a little while I find shoes, get bag etc. Coffee into thermo mug, car keys, out.

10 mins in total? If going out for more than an hour or so, perhaps put a cereal bar/apple per person into my bag plus a bottle of water. Change of pants for the youngest, mini pouch bag, basic make up in bag (always has the essentials in). So another 5 mins?

Sounds like they have a lovely routine and a close relationship

Either join them occasionally - get up earlier and take coffee with you, or follow on after?
Or tell her that it’s family time? My childhood we definitely had times we said no to friends because building and maintaining family relationships is important

No you haven’t. You’ve said she plays with the kids in the street in the afternoon. That’s not a reason. Just make plans to go to the cinema/pottery cafe/bike ride/feed the ducks in the afternoon. Or suggest one of the weekend days you have a family day at the seaside, the other day your dd and dh can do something just them.

Or is this a stealth boast?

You could do any of the following to change things:

1. get up in time to go with them
2. get up and take DD by yourself to the playground or another place you want to go
3. plan a weekend activity for later in the day for you to do together
4. ask your DH to plan an activity for later in the day for you to do together
5. invite people over in the afternoon to socialize in your home so playing out with neighbors kids isn’t the default

In my case-my dp and the children loved their time just them. Obviously I could have gone if I had wanted to, but why would I muscle in on their time together?

Sounds like this is their thing. Come up with something different that can be your thing with DD / DH.

Not really, the OP narrative changes but she does say if they waited a bit longer, just for me to have a coffee and get ready, we could all go which sounds like she expects them to wait around for her to get up, drink coffee then get ready (and 8am really isn't early!), which would be pretty boring if you're up and ready to head out.

Only in that it seems odd to be happy to be going out unwashed!
i don’t always shower at the same time every day, but if I am going out, I always shower before I go.

You are complaining about exclusion when you are self excluding.

There are multiple solutions but you don't like any of them.

It seems like you want everything on your terms.

Why is it crazy that not everyone showers at the same time of day as you?

That sounds like utter misery to me. There is some middle ground here, like 30 mins including a shower and a coffee whilst getting dressed.

They can go out one morning, then plan a family day the other day. She's 7. If you tell her you're going out today and she can play out when she's back, that's what she'll be doing. A 7 year old shouldn't dictate what you do for an entire day.

Why don't you ever have plans for the weekend? What time do you usually get up?

Sounds like they might have got into this routine because you spend half the morning louging in bed and they wouldn't get to do anything otherwise.

Willing to accept I'm wrong, but 8am is not that early! Lounging around, wasting a weekend is really frustrating to early risers who like to get up and out

I'm sorry you're feeling sad. It seems that this has been going on for a while. Without anyone realising, what might have started out as a little break for you has changed to a permanent of behaviour for father and daughter, resulting in you feeling excluded.

You need to create a repeat pattern of behaviour that includes you in something fun. Don't get caught up in just a 'minding role' while you're daughter plays with friends. Plan some family days out in advance. Something fun and exciting and gradually build up frequency. Ignore your feelings of exclusion; don't wait for your daughter's or partner's permission - just plan and do it. In a few months time, you'll have a 'family' day out pattern of behaviour.

8 is a long lie!!

You’re still missing a shower! This is crazy!