Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

Yes I’m thinking that.

I disagree. It sounds as though DH and DD have decided that if they wait around for Mum to get up and get organised then the whole weekend will have disappeared. I am absolutely not one for leaping on the OP en masse, but I really think she needs a firm but fair kick up the bum here.

Get up and do something if you want to do something! I know that working weeks are long, but no one would be forcing you out of bed at 6, by the sounds of it. Getting up at 8/8.30 and out of the house by 9.30 is doable, if that's what everyone knows they are doing. If this is planned in advance and they still go off to the park together at 8, that's different.

No. It sounds like you're being ridiculously passive.

You might equally say he's not 'doing this to her', she is choosing to opt out.

All that needs to happen is a chat on Friday night to make some plans between the three of you and off you go.

Just do a bit of forward planning.

Children are not for our entertainment.
I would have loved my ex husband being like yours when we were together.
I only have one memory of him taking our girl out alone, to collect a new car. 15 minutes later she was on the phone to me. Standing at the side of a dual carriageway crying, because he'd got into a road rage row.

Let them have their time together. As for playing out, your girl is learning so much more about independent thinking, socialising, relationships, sharing etc., than she ever could by being taken to a playground.

Have you ever asked your daughter on a Sunday afternoon maybe, if she'd like, just you and her to go out for some pancakes or something? Or is it you want the three of you together? Just maybe, your husband would like some me time alone on a Sunday.

Makes me nostalgic for what we never had.

No. You’re lying in bed and they’re getting out. Everyone has told you just to get up. You’re being completely pathetic about this and a bit of a martyr. How are they spending 4 hours in a playground is another question? Have you even had a conversation with DH about it?

Her friends won’t be calling on her to play out all afternoon both days every single weekend. And if they are, you can say no. Make a plan for the afternoon, tell them to be back for 11 and get out.

You’ve had multiple solutions here but are completely defeatist.

How far away is the playground? If you don't want to get up earlier, then why not let them go for breakfast without you but arrange to meet them at the playground afterwards?

Get up earlier, at least on one of the days.

Oh dear. I think OP is going to ignore all the simple solutions suggested and just reply to selected posts.

I kind of think this. Make the weekend plans before the weekend rolls round. “Let’s go out for lunch this Saturday so if you want to take Dd to the park be back by 11.30” “Shall we go to the zoo on Saturday, you can go to the park on Sunday”

Also she doesn’t have to be playing with friends every Saturday and Sunday afternoons. If you want to do something else family time takes priority. She can play with friends another day.

os there no other way to get around in your area OP? No public transport? Or a bike? Or walking distance.

no family or friends close by you could walk to? Or you get them to drop you off on the way do your activity and meet them to come back?

it seems like you aren’t solution focused.
there is a middle ground between Dh/Dd having quality time and you sitting looking at a wall every weekend

Can they do it one morning & then get breakfast together for everyone the other?

Surely if you want to go out then they either wouldn't go or come back early enough to go out?

Same for playing out with the kids-sounds as if that only happens if she's not doing anything else?

Do you have any meals together or is there something you can do for an hour or so together in the evening?

Puzzles/lego/colouring/cards?

I've not read all the replies so sorry if repeating anything
You say they prefer it if it's just those two together. I think it's possible they've just got into the habit of you not being there.
I know you like to have a lie in but asca parent sometimes you do have to make sacrifices and if it is getting up earlier than you like to spend time at a park, fair enough.
Do they do this every single Saturday because we've had some crappy weather. Surely they don't go out when it's pouring down?

Also dont you and dh talk about plans for the weekend?
We used to say plan day trips out to the beach,( even in winter, they can still fly a kite, run on the sand etc) or go into the forests etc
Sometimes we would take friends out with us other times the boys would say ' sorry, im going out with my mum and dad so I can't play out. You're the parent, they don't have to do what they want all the time.

But have a conversation the night before!

I feel like you are creating obstacles where thery don't need to be.

Dh thinks there is nothing planned for the weekend (cos there isnt) They are both up and fancy doing something, so they do. You know they are early risers, if you want to be involved in the morning outing, its in you to set an alarm and get up

Then when they get back, just say "hey dd and dh, lets go to so and so...so dd tell yoyr friends you arent available today"

I don't know why you are making so difficult?!

Your updates are making it feel like you want a lie in /lazy morning but they don't so you are being a martyr, complaining they go without you and sacking off the whole rest of the day

Okay so as it gets to the end of the week why don’t you say “we’re going to the zoo tomorrow. We have to leave at 10am”? Then that gives them time to decide if they want a quick run around the park before hand.

They go to the park Saturday and Sunday. Why don’t you try getting up with them on one of the days and leaving them to themselves on the other?

I don’t see this as you being deliberately excluded to be honest. You sound like you’re being a bit difficult because you haven’t even tried anything.

Clearly not because most women would either get up and go with them or stay home and enjoy the peace. Either way there’s no need for a drama.

It does sound like you’re being deliberately excluded. My dh would never do this to me

Stop being passive in your own life.

If you want to do things - make it happen!

This.

Do you not tell them you have plans until the very day???

Surely even the night before you could say something

@Delatron Oh I love it and look forward to it. Many weeks it's the only time I get to town so I plan which shops to visit etc. Other weeks I'm looking forward to watching some show or another, which I don't really get time to do otherwise. The lunch is a real highlight (I have always loved going to lunch, and so does DS). Town (a town known for its foodiness) has lots of nice places to eat, we live rurally where there is very little, and so that is a treat too. We have our places we go and things we like to eat there. DH gets several hours of "peach and quiet", as DS terms it Win win

Yes. Pinworms and threadworms are the same thing. In our house we call them bumworms, which is more apt imo.

Exactly.

She plays out on the days you have nothing planned. It sounds as if you don't plan anything - and let the weekend just happen to you.

I think this is the best Idea. They get to have their time together and then you can all go out afterwards. She can play with her friends on the other day of the weekend.
My DDs used to play in the back lane (all the gardens ran along it) with their friends on weekends but quite often we'd have plans one day (seeing family/swimming/day out). So we'd just say you can play out today but tomorrow we'll be doing xyz. They were always happy with that.
Your DD can't be too tired to go out as a family if she's happy enough to play with her friends.