Moving house and relationship

Moving school and area is hard, but so much harder for boys.
Boys are notorious for sticking with old groups.
There is nothing harder that witnessing your child feeling isolated and excluded.
It can do life long damage.
Not a chance I would do it.
I have several friends who stayed put while their husbands commuted, rather than disrepute their happy children. They NEVER regretted it, even though it was hard.

Soon your dc will be wanting freedom to wander round shops with their mates. Would you prefer that to be your current area or where the man - child wants to live? And he isn't even a decent shag... Ditch today... Imo.

No way, it would be crazy to move your son's school for a boyfriend. Focus on your son, and if the boyfriend isn't willing to compromise I'd let him go...

Please don’t move. My dad did this to me and my brother and it was a disaster for my brother. Friendship groups had formed and excluded him. He and I hated the area we moved to and was frightened by aggression on the public transport. I have never forgiven my father for moving us for similar reason to suit himself and my mother for enabling it. It was awful. And from what you have said the relationship isn’t great so you could find yourself on your own in a shit area with an unhappy son. Teenage years are hard enough without being moved for no reason.

'I have a mum tum, getting older, have some extra body fat'

that is NOT why he has ED issues !!!

Absolutely not.
Do not do this to your son, and certainly not for him.
Your son lives in a nice area and is entering a critical stage in his life.
Keep him near his friends and support.

You would be so wrong to do this to your son and the impact would likely be hugely negative and long term.

I would be completely rethinking this relationship to.
You are not compatible.

The fact that he’s not prepared to put a 12 year-old first is disgraceful. Hopefully you will
And he can’t get it up either ?
Definitely not a Keeper

Not a chance I'd move my son from his school for this.

I don't judge him for his ED.

I judge him for not getting treatment.

Your child comes first above any partner so this shouldn't even be a question.

Of course you stay put as your child is settled!

Just read your update. Your body is fine and you are more attractive than you think. Women usually judge themselves harder than men. In terms of tummy, try probiotics - it helped me with my mum tum.

This. Don’t move your son. ED you can only help them if they want help. He isn’t helping himself so it will not happen. Throw this one back.

' partner ' are you already living together ? or will this be the two of you beginning to live together as you do say 2 different areas.

Prioritise your son, he is family.

I was in a similar situation years ago. Except I was the one wanting to move areas and he wanted to stay put. But all for his own convenience as I had a 1.5 hr commute and his was 10 minutes (no wfh back then). Found a lovely house in a nice area. Far nicer than where I was living. I decided to go ahead with it. We’d also been together around 2yrs at that point. He grudgingly went along with it but we split up 18months later. The move was a small part of it, but not the main reason.

Years later I am still happy in my lovely house! I don’t for one second regret choosing what was right for me. 2 years is no time at all to be with someone and clearly there are other issues. Just getting on well isn’t a reason to uproot yours and your sons life. Don’t put yourself in a worse situation just to please him.

Gosh, just end things. He’s selfish, focused on his own ease, and refuses to seek help for a treatable issue, and there’s no way I would even contemplate for a nanosecond making my 12 year old’s life unnecessarily harder for a faltering and short relationship.

Please dont move. Prioritise your child. The other very important point- ED is extremely difficult to treat and it will eventually create lots of resentment.

Is he is the father of your son?

There is zero chance id be moving and yr7/8 child unless it was absolutely unavoidable

I would not be moving in with him full stop. Put your child and their school area first.

As for the ED. It’s been 8 months out of two years. Why are you settling for a shitty person overall

I wouldn't compromise on my sons school. No way.

What's this guy got going for him?

He cannot seriously expect you to move your son's school for a 2 year, slightly rocky relationship!!! That is a huge red flag in itself!

OP listen to your gut. You are a mum. You need to put your son first. Keep him at the school he is settled in.

Do what's good for you and your child. Every time.

No way would I move my child’s school unless absolutely necessary if he’s settled and happy!

Especially not because he is lazy and wants an easy commute. Ties to the area are understandable but you’re not asking him to emigrate to Mongolia, he can go back to his friends/family/the area generally as and when he pleases!

I would probably forget moving in together now if he’s showing these signs of an unwillingness to compromise or think of you and your son over his own needs and reevaluate the relationship altogether.