Page 11 | My sister is such a cow!!

SalmonEile · 31/05/2025 22:37

Spirallingdownwards · 31/05/2025 22:33

I have a different point of view I'm afraid. My relationship with my parents was very different to that of my sister's with them.

This sounds exactly like the kind of thing my sister would do and I would probably also decline to participate on the basis of saying nothing is better than saying what I would really want to say. I wouldn't feel the need to contribute nor would I worry that my non participation may be noticeable.

Only your sister knows why she is choosing not to join in but perhaps she has a similar reason.

She may feel more comfortable giving a less personal gift in such circumstances.

Edited

Right and the people cheering on “find pics where your sister looks like shit and include them lol”
:-/ yikes

Original poster

PIPERHELLO · 31/05/2025 22:37

SalmonEile · 31/05/2025 22:32

ok I’m gonna go against the grain here
Is there any backstory here with you and your sister or your sister and your mother?

like in theory it’s easy to send a pic and a message to go in the book but if shes saying she has her own present sorted then maybe she’s come up with her own special thing?

Fair questions.

It is not - and I’m pretty sure about this - that she had a bad experience or childhood and therefore doesn’t want to participate. She’s got prior form with being an absolute bitch to me over the years, and to me it is clear that she’s just trying to undermine my idea.

OP posts:

AlorsTimeForWine · 31/05/2025 22:35

44PumpLane · 31/05/2025 22:23

Find a couple of photos of your Mum and your sister, where your sister looks ropey and include them! Then when she complains just tell her she had her chance to send over some that she liked and that you think she looks lovely in the pics 😂

This is absolutely what I'd do, I'd include a cpuple of nicer ones too ...then she is in it

For memorablilia stuff if they went on holiday or a westend show id get some prints printed and included so it looks like a memento

Spirallingdownwards · 31/05/2025 22:33

I have a different point of view I'm afraid. My relationship with my parents was very different to that of my sister's with them.

This sounds exactly like the kind of thing my sister would do and I would probably also decline to participate on the basis of saying nothing is better than saying what I would really want to say. I wouldn't feel the need to contribute nor would I worry that my non participation may be noticeable.

Only your sister knows why she is choosing not to join in but perhaps she has a similar reason.

She may feel more comfortable giving a less personal gift in such circumstances.

SalmonEile · 31/05/2025 22:32

ok I’m gonna go against the grain here
Is there any backstory here with you and your sister or your sister and your mother?

like in theory it’s easy to send a pic and a message to go in the book but if shes saying she has her own present sorted then maybe she’s come up with her own special thing?

Original poster

PIPERHELLO · 31/05/2025 22:28

MsTTT · 31/05/2025 22:25

It’s not really a gift from you if it involves effort from other people.

Given your mother’s age, I’m guessing you and your sister are likely in or around your 60s and too old for petty squabbles and oneupmanship?

that is one way of looking at it, but I don’t think sending a few photos & a short note on a piece of plain paper requires much effort. I’ve bought an embossed book, got input from multiple people, pressed flowers, collected tickets, drawings, stitched shells into the pages etc.

I agree it’s pretty petty, but on her part!

OP posts:

gamerchick · 31/05/2025 22:25

She is but she'll realise that when the time comes OP.

MsTTT · 31/05/2025 22:25

It’s not really a gift from you if it involves effort from other people.

Given your mother’s age, I’m guessing you and your sister are likely in or around your 60s and too old for petty squabbles and oneupmanship?

outthereandbeyond · 31/05/2025 22:24

YES! 💯 that’s such a brilliant subtle middle finger

Original poster

PIPERHELLO · 31/05/2025 22:24

44PumpLane · 31/05/2025 22:23

Find a couple of photos of your Mum and your sister, where your sister looks ropey and include them! Then when she complains just tell her she had her chance to send over some that she liked and that you think she looks lovely in the pics 😂

Hahahaha!! Love it!

OP posts:

Original poster

PIPERHELLO · 31/05/2025 22:24

Ddakji · 31/05/2025 22:22

Can you say that you understand you’re organizing it but everyone else has contributed so it would be nice if she did and noticeable if she didn’t?

That was exactly what I did in follow up number 4 this week. I said everyone else had got involved & it would seem a pity not to include her. And this was her response (in original post).

OP posts:

44PumpLane · 31/05/2025 22:23

Find a couple of photos of your Mum and your sister, where your sister looks ropey and include them! Then when she complains just tell her she had her chance to send over some that she liked and that you think she looks lovely in the pics 😂

Original poster

PIPERHELLO · 31/05/2025 22:23

It is fucking selfish isn’t it?!

OP posts:

Ddakji · 31/05/2025 22:22

Can you say that you understand you’re organizing it but everyone else has contributed so it would be nice if she did and noticeable if she didn’t?

outthereandbeyond · 31/05/2025 22:22

PIPERHELLO · 31/05/2025 22:19

It’s a big milestone birthday for my mum (90), and I’m putting together a scrapbook of family photos, messages etc. Months ago I asked everyone to send brief messages / photos / memories for inclusion. Pretty much everyone has, except my eldest sister who tells me she ‘hasn’t got time’ and that it’s a gift from me, and she’s already got her gift sorted! 🤦‍♀️ Kind of not the point!!

Sadly, she has form here. She often doesn’t support me on this type of thing. So I’m not that surprised.

What I want to do is send her a reply saying she’s sort of missing the point, and how hard can it be to send a few photos & a message. But - am I right in thinking there’s little point! She’s not stupid. She’s doing it to try & sink my idea, simple as that. (She won’t - I’ve got loads of other nice stuff to include!)

AIBU in thinking she’s a complete cow??

Probably a cow. But you should continue with your gift and make it extra special, placing it in centre piece when you have a party, that way guests can admire it.

don’t try to make your sister jealous or anything. Just basque in the glory of your effort.

siblings, especially when parents are elderly, can be twats. But you may need her after your mums is gone so don’t burn bridges

2chocolateoranges · 31/05/2025 22:21

Personally I’d just leave her out of it, if she’s going to be selfish then don’t include her in the scrap book and if mum asks tell her your sister didn’t want to participate in it.