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Original poster

To find preparing 3 meals a day an absolute grind

168 replies

Bobbinwinding · 31/05/2025 21:05

Just a vent.

I am just so absolutely sick of the relentlessness of having to plan, prepare and clear up three meals, day in, day out.

One DC is vegetarian, the other has a very restrictive diet. Literally the only foods they both eat are eggs, cheese, pasta, bread, yogurt and apples. That doesn’t leave many meals that can feed them both so I’m usually making something separate for each of them.

DH is a workaholic with some hang-ups about food/weight and will impulsively decide he doesn’t want dinner after I’ve already plated it up.

I’m perimenopausal and increasingly having to watch what I eat.

I used to adore cooking, browsing recipe books snd meal planning. But the daily grind of either trying to come up with something everyone will eat or making different meals for everyone is driving me to despair.

No one appreciates it. I feel constantly guilty about whether anyone has had 5 a day or too many UPFs or sugar or whatever were being told will kill us this week.

Can anyone relate? Any tips to make it more bearable?

OP posts:
ThomasShelbysfagend · 31/05/2025 21:20

I can 100% relate to absolutely everything you say Bob.

Add in the every day question…”what’s for tea mum?”.

Meal planning for the week makes it all somewhat bearable but even that grinds me down.
At least they all abide by the list and I get them to decide what goes onto the weekly list.

And yes to the guilt!!
My youngest eats nothing but beige UP utter shite every day thanks to my DH who also only eats beige UP shite.

I’m the vegetarian so eat a healthy varied diet, but I’m the only one that eats anything with a glint of colour in it. They all just eat crap. I try to vary the crap a bit.

Mischance · 31/05/2025 21:20

Oh I am with you all the way ..... I am retired now and the children have left home but I often look back and wonder how for so many years I provided 3 meals a day, every day, year in year out. It makes me feel tired just thinking about it!

My greatest joy now is when someone cooks for me!

Original poster
Bobbinwinding · 31/05/2025 21:18

ShesTheAlbatross · 31/05/2025 21:14

If your DH impulsively decides he doesn’t want something after you’ve plated it up, he makes his own substitute, right?? That is his issue, not for you to solve.

How old are both children? A child old enough to be vegetarian can at least make their own breakfast and lunch.

Oh I’m not making him anything else, it is just dispiriting to have made the effort only for it not to be eaten. It’ll go in the fridge for the next day, usually, but it just be nice to have a bit of appreciation rather than “oh I’m not hungry, I’m just going to keep working”.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 31/05/2025 21:18

Bobbinwinding · 31/05/2025 21:15

Otherwise we would all starve?

Show quote history

No you wont. When they see the kitchen staff aren't working they'll make their own.

Making 3 meals a day I'd un necessary. Tell them from now on they do their own breakfast and depending on their ages - lunch

UtterlyOtterly · 31/05/2025 21:17

I would stop stressing about actual meals. Give them bread and cheese, try to get a bit of salad in too. Make sure they eat an apple every day.

Explain, if they are old enough, that it is really hard for you, and that they cannot expect anything fancier unless they get it themselves. Let them see you eating more interesting things, and offer some, even if you are sure they won't eat it.

A friend of mine had a similar problem with her sons. She provided basics like bread, cheese, bananas. Then told them to sort each meal out for themselves. After a very few weeks they got bored and wanted different things, and also wanted their mum to cook for them again so they had to stop being fussy. One is now a very accomplished cook.

Sometimes what can seem like a drastic method turns out very well.

TeenagersDontWearCoats · 31/05/2025 21:16

I hate it too!
Have you tried asking chat gpt to come up with some meal plans?

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 31/05/2025 21:15

Why are you doing all of the cooking? The child who would be happy to eat only pasta seems easy to cook for tbf.

Original poster
Bobbinwinding · 31/05/2025 21:15

MonTuesWeds · 31/05/2025 21:11

Why are you bothering?

Otherwise we would all starve?

OP posts:
ShesTheAlbatross · 31/05/2025 21:14

If your DH impulsively decides he doesn’t want something after you’ve plated it up, he makes his own substitute, right?? That is his issue, not for you to solve.

How old are both children? A child old enough to be vegetarian can at least make their own breakfast and lunch.

Sunshineismyfavourite · 31/05/2025 21:14

I would definitely be giving the DC responsibility to feed themselves breakfast (and clear up) and sort their own lunches. Shop a couple of times a week (or get one big delivery) of all the foods they will eat to stock the fridge/cupboards and then leave them to it.
Do a weekly meal plan for dinners that will suit everyone so you don't have to cook different dinners in the same day - they are taking the piss if they expect you to cook separately. Honestly OP do yourself a favour and take a deep breath and hand over some of the responsibility to your family.

Viviennemary · 31/05/2025 21:13

No need to cook breakfast. And lunch can be a sandwich and soup. Why make life hard for yourself.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/05/2025 21:12

I could have written this, except I’m a single parent.

I try not to cook more than once a day. So breakfast is cereal or toast, lunch we’ll have something very simple and then I only really cook for dinner.

I have one vegetarian teenager and one tween with restricted eating so a very similar situation. I make two version of the same thing rather than different meals so it’s easier.

Having lots of things in the freezer also helps!

MonTuesWeds · 31/05/2025 21:11

Why are you bothering?

FancyCatSlave · 31/05/2025 21:10

Why are you the martyr to it? It should be shared. If your workaholic husband was suddenly single he wouldn’t expire, he’d eat.

Leave the fussy buggers to it for a month and don’t feed any of them. I can’t understand why any woman puts up with this bullshit.

Swonderful · 31/05/2025 21:08

Can't they get their own breakfast and lunch? Unless they're really little.

SatsumaCat · 31/05/2025 21:08

Are they old enough to make their own breakfast and lunch at least? My 10 year old can. Workaholic can do the meals on his days off.

Sofiewoo · 31/05/2025 21:07

Why can’t you eat what either one of them is eating? There is obviously no need for 3 different meals, if you aren’t the cause of one meal there would only be 2.

RedToothBrush · 31/05/2025 21:06

Old enough to decide to be veggie. Old enough to cook occasionally.