To find preparing 3 meals a day an absolute grind

I dont cook/prep 3 meals a day - there's cereal/bread/yoghurt and fruit and there is cheese, sandwich meats, tuna etc , if anyone wants breakfast/lunch - they make their own

Dinners - it's one meal. I cook for me him and the mother and we all have varying needs and wants - but I just try to incorporate everyone's favourite meal in the week . If I hear too many grumbles in a week - I say sod it - sort yourselves and let them get on with it. 24hrs later they are back at the table and a tad more appreciative

My 2 DC got there own breakfast and lunch from the age of 7. We then introduced them to cooking evening meals from the age of 13.

I don’t understand cooking multiple meals. We had to eat it or go hungry!

No way would my mum of cooked different meals for us as children. if we didn’t like what was put in front of us, then we went without.
The whole is so different now.
can you get them to sit down with you once a week and come up with so easy ideas for meals ?

OP, sorry just seen you said your children are 8 and 10 + one ND. Sorry then, my point above about them making dinner one night each week is probably a bit premature, but your husband still could! Good luck with it all.

Some really good advice. Completely agree if your DC are old enough, they should be doing more. When my DC are old enough, I intend they should have a day each where they are responsible for dinner for everyone (with support from me where needed). My mother did this with us and it meant I arrived at university able to cook.

Also, why are you making lunches for everyone? If they are school aged beyond infants (or husband aged) can they have school lunches or make it themselves? Breakfasts should be very little work. Maybe something nice at the weekend if you it fancy and have time. Otherwise toast and healthy low sugar cereals older children can get themselves, at most omelette, porridge or similar, but only if you want to make these.

We have a fussy DC, I am pescatarian (mostly vegetarian) and need a low GI diet. My husband eats meat. It is a pain, but mostly my husband eats vegetarian so we can eat the same meal, but we often flex the protein source so he can have some meat on the side too or there is a meat and a veggie option if we are doing a roast ect. Also change the carbs so I have a low GI version and my husband something more standard. Would suggest you do something similar, definitely don't make three meals. For our fussy eater, about half the time we do give in and make them something separate we know they will eat, which I cannot due to the carbs. However, I freeze portions of some of these meals to make it easier and it also allows us to have curry or other dish ourselves they would not touch, so I don't really mind. The other half of the time we try to make foods they will eat some bits of, and also provide some kind of safe food either on the side or as part of the meal, we know they will eat. Try to make sure within this meal they will have some kind of safe whole grain or potatoe based carb and some protein they are likely to eat. On these days we serve everything on the table, so they can choose what they eat. They eat only limited vegetables, so try to make sure there are some from the few they may eat with each meal, but then always have tonnes of fruit for dessert and a good multivitamin. At least it means we can share the same meals.

We also, as others have said, try to cook more portions than we need with each meal. Then either freeze (dependent on meal and freezer space) or eat the next day. We have some tray bake trays that fit in our freezer, so can just pop two tray bakes in the oven and freeze one (they stack in the freezer and often each tray lasts for 2 meals). For lunches, as someone else said, you can make a big batch of healthy soup or Dahl and eat over several days. Breakfast omelettes can also last more than one day.

However, I am not doing the meal prep alone. My husband also cooks and cleans up after meals. Why isn't your husband at least helping with the cleaning up, especially if he doesn't cook? Why isn't he cooking at least some meals at the weekend, even if he cannot during the week (which seems unfair anyway unless you work far fewer hours)? Don't mean to seem negative, but think I would be quite annoyed if I were doing 100% of all the cooking and clearing up.

I hear you. I love cooking but I hate the daily grind of feeding everyone, I also have 2 ND DC with food issues and also almost nothing I can make that everyone will eat. A good day is only 2 separate meals for dinner.
Breakfast and lunch are pretty ad hoc but often still involve me faffing about at random times because they cannot cope with sorting themselves out a lot of the time.

yes that’s crazy.
My kids are a little older. They get their own breakfast - porridge/cereal/toast
lunch - sandwich/noodles/whatever
dinner - the only one I actually have to think about.

No she's referred to breakfasts and lunches which makes it even worse

I understand. But your 8 year old can start preparing their own food for breakfast and lunch and then at least it is getting a bit easier for you.

when the kids were younger I’d leave the cereal on the counter and put the milk in a wee pitcher for them. They would make it themselves. Could also do cereal bars so no prep at all?

I’d do this if I didn’t have kids. The most effort I’d make is assembling a sandwich.

Agree with the others you don’t need to make breakfast or lunch.

breakfast is fruit/yoghurt/cereal
lunch is cheese/bread/salad veg/picky bits

means you are only cooking dinner.

then you can do stuff that either assembles in different ways or people choose their own:

make your own pizza so they choose toppings
sausages chips and peas (easy 20 minute meal)
plain pasta with supermarket sauce (choice of two)
hot dogs and salad
burgers and salad
plain noodles with separately stir fried veg and separate sauce
fajitas with guacamole, refried beans and two types of filling - one plain chicken/quorn and one spicy

How old are your children?Mine all sorted out their own breakfast and lunch once at secondary school. My daughter who is vegetarian also preferred to prep her own evening meals aged 14 onwards .

Preparing 3 meals a day i struggle to make 1 a week.
I live out of packets and the fridge easy food grab and eat.

Completely agree. Thinking what to get. Buying it. Making it. Clearing up after it. Over. And over. And over.

I feel your pain. I have 2 neurodivergent children and the combination of restricted eating and their lack of executive function (for their age) means that feeding them seems to occupy a lot of my waking moments. I think there is one meal I can realistically make for all of us and it’s not something that can be pre prepped and frozen. Like yourself I am adventurous and enjoy making meals. Well I did.

This sounds impossible and I’d just stop. Am guessing your kids are old enough for this to be a bit ridiculous as you haven’t answered the many people asking so they can feed themselves and you can feed yourself and your selfish DH can do whatever he likes.

my kids are 8/12 and they get their own breakfast and lunch and have for some time now. Of course sometimes I make pancakes or my husband makes something for lunch but for the most part they sort themselves out and add things to the grocery list if they want to have something around.

if everyone is picky and obnoxious about it then easier for them to just prepare for themselves. You can then eat wherever you like. No one will starve.

unless of course you’re talking about toddlers and then just ignore much of what I said

I generally have to make 3 separate dinners as one child is ultra picky (doesn't like spice etc), husband and other child will generally have the same and I'm vegan so have something different again. It is f#cking unbearable at times and I'd rather not eat than deal with the relentless cooking/sorting food and cleaning up. Ot just rolls from one meal to the next. Husband useless as not here or not helpful so falls on me day in, day out. So I feel your pain, but I guess it's a good problem to have in the grand scheme of things 😬

What I've realised looking back was that there was a lot of tension around meals. Not surprisingly this reduces appetite and children start playing up..The workaholic sounds super tense anyway. You sound exhausted by all these pressures on you to meet everyone else's needs.
So if you can focus on everyone feeling relaxed, and it starts with you feeling relaxed.
Don't meal plan for the first week. Just buy some ingredients that will get you through a week with minimum effort - tins of tomatoes, bread, plain rice, frozen veg, frozen chips, yoghurt, pasta, block of cheese for grating, eggs, shop pizza, bacon. A chicken to roast. Reduce your standards for one week. See how it goes and if the world ends. Enjoy chatting at meals

I pretended to be asleep tonight, fake woke up and dh had made dinner - win win!

How old are the kids?

Why aren’t any of them (especially your DH) doing some of the meals themselves?

DD was getting her own breakfast and helping make her packed lunch by the time she was 7, by the time she was 9 she was making her packed lunch on the days she didn’t want school dinner, and at 11 she generally sorts out her own lunch at the weekend, her own dinner some days if she’s in the mood and fancies cooking. She has a few meals she loves cooking like Ramen with a spiced chicken mix she’s created or cheese and bacon pastries, or scrambled egg on toasted ciabatta.