To think asking people if they have grandchildren is like asking if they are pregnant - just don't!

I would have felt obliged to point out that anything 58 and up was fair!

What a classist comment. Because of course all women who had their kids in their 20s are from the lower class.

One of DDs friends was an uncle at age 10ish. His mum is the same age as me - she was a grandma at 40, while another classmate was having her first baby.

While it isn't impossible, I don't feel that I am old enough to be a grandma (46). I would be a bit offended if an adult asked me if I have grandchildren. I am a teacher - I learned long ago not to get offended by anything children innocently ask.

That said, I remember (as a teen) asking my dentist if the picture on his shelf was of his grandchildren. They were of his children. He only retired a couple of years ago, so he was probably in his 30's! 🤦‍♀️

I’m in my 40s, some of my school year group are grandmothers (the ones who were younger mothers, I attended a convent school for girls and teenage pregnancy rate was ridiculous). I have young DC not even at school yet.
I don’t think it’s the equivalent of asking if a woman is pregnant, but I do think it’s a tactless question and I wouldn’t ask it.

Well it obviously is by these comments 🤣🤣she’s 1 year away from 50, so she’s hardly of child bearing age, so yes it’s very common for people who are 49/50 to be a grandmother.

I'm stunned that people think it would be normal for someone in their 40s too have grandchildren. It's really showing what kind of background you come from if that's normal. 😂

I think this must be quite area dependent. At 49 I'll have a 13 year old and I was the youngest mum in my NCT group.

Stop being so easily offended.

@sesquipedalian my mum warned me to not make her a grandmother until she was at least sixty 😅 (she had me at 29 so it was fine)

A 49-year-old who had a child in their late twenties - not uncommon at all - will have an adult child in their early twenties who could have had children - less common than it used to be, but hardly rare or shocking, surely?

I’m really surprised - if she knew you had children, why didn’t she just ask how old they are - that would give a big clue as to whether or not you might be a grandmother! I knew someone who was a grandmother in her late forties - I was surprised by that. I didn’t become a grandmother until I was over sixty.

I'm 48 and noone my age is anywhere near having grandchildren, I'm shocked people think 49 is not uncommon at all!

I'm really astonished that lots of people think it's reasonable to assume a 49 year old has grandchildren - around me lots and lots of 49 year olds have primary aged children, not grandchildren! It may not have been intentional but I'm not surprised it stung, OP. Is she a lot younger?

In some ways YANBU, but also its making conversation. I'm shocked someone would ask a 50 yo though, a 50 yo grandmother would be quite rare these days! I find asking anything feels like it could be risky now. I live in a naice area, so I don't like asking people where they live because I feel like I'm showing off if they ask me back!

Why offended? Is it because you don’t want people to think you’re old enough to be a granny? Newsflash, you’re old enough to be a granny.

Its conversation is all, and to suggest that it’s the same as asking a woman if she’s pregnant is in fact incredibly offensive.

People get older, the sooner they drop the insecurity over that the better.

You might think you look younger than you do, but you’re not.

People tell me I look younger than I am, doesn’t change the fact that I’m 51 though.

Getting older is a fact of life, but if your kids are only teens then surely you just answer that they’re not old enough to have kids yet.

This is clearly about you and not about them.

Oh gosh I can’t think she meant any harm at all! It’s a perfectly innocent topic of conversation.

Sorry, OP, but going on what you’ve said I think you’re being prickly.

Regardless of someone's apparent age, I would never ask that question. Just like I wouldn't ask someone if they had children. It's way too personal, with all sorts of potential pitfalls, so I just wait for them to tell me. And they usually do!

It doesn’t imply you’re old though - you could have become a mother at 25 yourself with adult children now in their twenties having children - both pretty normal. She wasn’t insinuating that you look 75.

Does she have GC or would like them?
When people ask these seemingly random questions it is sometimes because it's something they want to talk about or are interested in.
I wouldn't for one moment think she was being snide by asking you if you had GC.

@Catinthereallysmallhat of course she might have been snide. Also no, it is absolutely not remotely common to ask women in their late 40’s if they have gc 😂😂. I’m late 30’s with teens and wouldn’t dream of asking someone in their 40’s if they have grandkids!
@Liesmorelies Does this coworker have form for being a bit of a wind up ? If you are in the UK this isn’t a normal question , there’s plenty of parents in their 50’s in my son’s secondary school, nope, wouldn’t ask if they are grandparents even if I didn’t know they had teenagers

I’m a similar age to you and would also be horrified! Surely it isn’t that common to have grandchildren in your late 40s?? None of my friends have grandchildren yet

I'd not ask someone if they had grandkids, much like I'd not ask a woman if she had kids. It can be painful for some people.

But if I did ask that type of thing it wouldn't cross my mind to ask a 48 year old if she was a granny. That seems young to me (cos my DC was at primary when I was 48)

I became a ( foster) granny at 35 dead proud of that !

It’s hard to figure out the age of someone, 49 could easily be 45 to 55. It really isn’t unusual for someone to be a grandparent at 50.