To think asking people if they have grandchildren is like asking if they are pregnant - just don't!

No smaller than anyone else's and considerably larger than a lot of people's experience I would say. It's certainly not common in the social sphere I generally move in, is what I'm saying, and it would be a question which may cause offence.

Let's look at the stats. 20% of women in their late 40s in the UK don't have children at all. The most common age for women born in the mid 1970s to have children is 31. So most commonly, a woman aged 49 will have a 19 year old, as I do, and likely (by statistics not opinion) young adult offspring who aren't thinking about having kids yet.

So statistically speaking a lot don't have children at all, a lot have younger children (there has been an increase in the proportion of births at age 45+) and yes, there will be some who had kids younger and will be grandparents.

However, as quite a number won't be anywhere near being grandparents yet and many will never be grandparents, it's best not to ask the question.

To think asking people if they have grandchildren is like asking if they are pregnant - just don't!

Goodness! Everything is offensive these days. No one cares about the intention or context. You can't talk to people now for fear of saying/asking the wrong thing. That's why online has become the go to for interaction. It's safer, ironically.

There are some really really nasty comments on here. I was 18 when I had my daughter (middle class family that really supported me) and she was 21 when she had hers. Not ideal but here we are. She’s just had her second at 27, married, own their own place and I have a very very good senior management role in an industry many would kill to get in to.
I’ve never been asked if I’m a granny but I’ll shout it from the roof tops as I’m so proud of me and my daughter and love those two little children as much as I love her.
Don’t judge people.

Yeah I think a lot on this thread are happy you're not in their bubble too

So, an average age of 30 does not mean that it is unusual to have mums in their 20s. That's not how averages work in these statistics which are calculating the standard average. You could theoretically have an average of age 30 without one single mum actually being 30 when she had her first child.

There are in fact quite a lot of women having kids in their mid to late 30s, so if the average age is 30 that suggests there are also quite a lot having them in their 20s.

Of course it isn’t . Heavens above !

I don't think it's at all unusual to be a grandparent at 49.

49 is the ONS, 2010. The figure of 63 is also the ons 2017. Amazingly it didn't rocket that far in those years. It's two different methods of collation and the latter excludes grandchildren who live with grandparents.

Hmm, ONS or AI... 🤔

Yes, fine, enjoy your bubble. Just try and employ a little grit if someone pops it with perfectly reasonable questions.

Very happy to be in a bubble if that is the case.

That’s ridiculous. I have friends from every walk of life but none of them include forty something grandparents. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on much to be honest. They’re just not part of my circle and I don’t see many of them around. I grew up in the US it was the same in my neighbourhood.

But, what about the beautiful skin? Where's the outrage?

Just say no 🤷‍♀️

I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t anticipate anyone in my circle being a grandmother till at least seventy.

I was a grandmother at 50, 25 years ago today.

There is such a range isn't there... Most of my 40something friends have kids in school... Often quite young kids...

But equally several parents of kids I was at school with were grannies before 40.

The youngest granny I worked with was 29🙄😱

It’s quite normal to have grandchildren in your 40s, I know plenty who have including my mum.

I'm that age, and if dd had had her first same age as I was I'd have been a grandmother by now.

Although I suppose what you're thinking is that I tend to more get people saying I don't look old enough to have a 24yo dd. So it's perhaps more people saying you look your age, rather than the actual grandchildren. Personally I think I do look at least my age, so maybe people are just being polite. 🤣
Never thought of that. I'll ask the next person who says that. 🤣

I genuinely can't believe how narrow some people's lives are. How have they not met a range of women having babies at different ages?

My friends all range from 25 to 52 ( I'm 33 ) and their children range from 0 to 33. Some of us had babies in our 20's, others had babies in their 30's

I have a couple of friends who became a grandparent in her 30s but in my world most 40-somethings have school age children. YANBU op. I am 46 and if someone asked me if I was a granny I’d think they were really weird! Your colleague has crap social skills. If they were stuck for something to say they should’ve asked how old your kids were, how they were doing, blah blah blah.

I'm 49 and if someone asked if I had grandchildren I would be offended too!!! I do have my head deeply in the sand about turning 50 soon, so maybe I am just not ready to be considered old enough for that!! I used to get told I looked 10 years younger, that seems to have tailed off recently 😳

It's really not common at all

Your world must be so small, how do you not know a variety of people who have had children at different ages? Literally hundreds of women have posted on this thread saying how common/normal it is.

I had my two at 23 and 24 so by 49, my eldest will be 25 which doesn’t feel too young to be having children.

Shes 22 now with a good job, a nice home and a loving partner - the same as I was at her age when we decided to try for a baby.

I don’t see 49 as being super young to have a baby if I’m honest and I do know a few people who are.

It's a staggering difference. I wonder what proportion of people have children while living with their parents and if that proportion has risen in line with house inflation?