To think asking people if they have grandchildren is like asking if they are pregnant - just don't!

You were asked at 64 if you still get your period?

What year was then? Because majority of the current royals had kids after they turned 30.

I was asked that when I got my hysteroscopy last year at the age of 64 and the doctor had my records in front of him. As you suggest, it's a standard question for women.

I burst out laughing and told him I'd be selling my story to the tabloids if I were. He told me he wanted 10 per cent...

I’m still pathetically grateful for the ‘could you be pregnant?’ type questions when I give blood

Seriously? My eyes roll out of my head when they ask me and I’m considerably older than you. My response is laughter and pointing out that the age of miracles is past. They’re not asking you because they think it’s a possibility, they’re asking you because you’re female.

Is that what happens when you have kids early? You lose any patience and social etiquettes, and think it’s ok calling people who have different opinion or feel differently to you butt hurt and haggard? I hope that’s not how you talk to your children or grandchildren at least.

@Catinthereallysmallhat My background is a bit weird - my mum's family was working-class with her parents in the merchant navy and a cleaner. My dad's family were wealthy farmers on his dm's side and a hospital manager on his df's side, so very different from dm's. But neither of my parents went to university, though df ended up in a management role and a lot of his colleagues in comparable roles were younger with degrees, while he'd worked his way up. My dm was a medical secretary. Both encouraged me to value education and I did get a degree and post-grad qualification and am in a profession.

But I really didn't see the question as class-related. Colleague will know I must have a degree from the role I do. Her role doesn't require one but I don't know whether she has one. I was more bothered about the implication, as I saw it, that I look considerably older than I am. I maintain it's not a standard question to ask someone unless you know for a fact how old they and their children are, and even then, probably best not to, as others have said.

Oh dear did I touch a nerve?

I don't look down on anyone. I take my hat off to people who had a much harder path to climb to get degrees and career success. Indeed I spend a chunk of my free time volunteering as a trustee for a charity that helps fund training and other opportunities for people who have had a difficult start on life.

But there were a whole host of assumptions made about younger parents and grandparents and who they are and it's perfectly reasonable for some of us to come out and counter those stereotypes.

That’s nuts. I’m 52 and would be offended if someone asked if I had a grandchild! It would imply that I looked old, because in my middle class circle, people don’t become grandparents at this age.

I’m still pathetically grateful for the ‘could you be pregnant?’ type questions when I give blood 😂

While it is biologocally possible, society had changed from the times when soon after becoming adults women will have children.
I wouldn't be asking anyone this question because while there are women who have early children, but there are also those who are having kids much later. I would definitely not ask in a corporate environment.

Op, I don't know a single woman who is a grandmother at the age of 49. Maybe my own grandmother but she is not 49 in year 2025. Someone being a grandmother at the age 49 in year 2025 tells me they are a family of unambitious women. Perhaps that's the kind of environment your colleague has come from?

it not.

What the hell are you thinking are 'professional' jobs that are difficult to achieve from a working class background?

Are you from the past?

What are professional jobs for a start?

Do professional jobs require a degree?

And why are they a) not working class? And b) difficult for people from your view of working class to achieve?

What the hell are you thinking are 'professional' jobs that are difficult to achieve from a working class background?

Are you from the past?

What are professional jobs for a start?

Do professional jobs require a degree?

And why are they a) not working class? And b) difficult for people from your view of working class to achieve?

So did you end up going to uni, getting a degree and go on to have a successful professional job from someone who was from a working class back round?

You haven't touched a nerve, @MiracleCures . I don't care what class I am and am not stung to think you might consider me 'new-m/c,' but I do think it's a bit disingenuous to state that having children in ones 20s happens in all walks of life and for the majority of people a likely outcome would be multiple degrees, published books and contributions to scientific journals, followed by skiing and other amazing travel opportunities in the later years.

For the majority of people becoming parents early on did and does lead to reduced opportunities and often economic hardship. Not always, so anecdotes to the contrary are not relevant. But my point is, many people in the later half of the 20th century and beyond encouraged their daughters especially to put off having children until later on, and many daughters took that on board and in fact, more and more are deciding against having children all together. To make out this is due to snobbery and to point to examples of people from entirely different socio-economic groups to prove this is just silly.

But it's great that you do charity work for those less fortunate. I'm sure it's much appreciated by those who benefit.

The average age of becoming a grandparent in the UK is 49, according to government stats. If you are surrounded by people with infant school children at 49 and you think 49 is an outlandish age to be a grandparent, then you are in a bubble.

Well that's me told. How charming.

It's pretty clear that I'm put out that someone has made me feel old, yes. That's what my post was about because I feel that's a rude thing to do. Unfortunately, most people have ignored that and just posted anecdata about the ages they and people they know became parents/grandparents, but never mind. If I saw someone I perceived to be in their 20s with a child I wouldn't ask whose it was / were they the nanny, despite being a parent at that age being unusual in my area/ circle. That would be similarly rude imo.

@lljkk I know what you mean and I don't mean to imply looking old in itself is a bad thing. I am happy to look my age but don't want to believe I look 10 years older, which is what the question implied to me.

Of course I know I'm old enough to have grandchildren - I said that in the OP. But I don't think it's that common these days and certainly not the norm, and most definitely not the norm in our workplace. As for saying she was making conversation - we were conversing quite happily and it actually came as a bit of a non sequitur. As a PP said, a more natural question to get to know me/keep the conversation going, would have been about my dc and their ages/what they're doing etc. Not leaping straight to grandchildren!

Yes, she is quite a bit younger than me - probably early 30s and her dc are in nursery/infants.