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Original poster

To invite some children but not others to wedding?

112 replies

Toadstool101 · 31/05/2025 19:44

Inspired by other wedding posts on here today and having a panic.

We’re having a wedding of approx 100 guests and if we were to allow all children, there would be 36 (all below age 8) at a cost of £80 per child. I cannot fathom how we would provide entertainment for 36 children or maintain any sense of occasion different to a soft play. We have 10 children coming - our own, the children of family who have travelled from abroad, and bridesmaid’s children, who are good friends of our own children. There will also be about 4 babies under 1yo.

Are people going to come to the wedding and be potentially livid that we’ve cherry picked the children that could come? My fiancés cousin asked if their 3 children could come, and we politely explained that we’ve had to restrict due to the high numbers of children. But the threads today are making me worry that people on the day will judge harshly for this.

OP posts:
Cyclingforcake · 31/05/2025 19:53

I’m always amazed on these threads that anyone except immediate family expect their children to be invited to a wedding. Wouldn’t be normal at any of the weddings I’ve been to, to have every guests’ children there.

cyvguhb · 31/05/2025 19:53

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/05/2025 19:47

Are people going to come to the wedding and be potentially livid that we’ve cherry picked the children that could come?

Yes.

Maybe they will be and presumably if they are livid they'll decline the invitation.

What kind of selfish guest assumes they have any input to who is invited to any wedding other than their own

SkeletonBatsflyatnight · 31/05/2025 19:53

Are people going to come to the wedding and be potentially livid that we’ve cherry picked the children that could come?

Yes. I was the only child invited to a family wedding in 1983 (we lived abroad due to my father's job) and one of my Uncles still has a moan about it every time we meet up with wider family.

Cyclingforcake · 31/05/2025 19:51

I think wedding party children and non mobile babies only is fine. So give them all a role and say that to everyone that asks.

HappyLols · 31/05/2025 19:51

£80 per child wow - how on earth is it that much??

To answer you, yes people will be annoyed that they have to shell out for babysitters and others dont.

RitaFires · 31/05/2025 19:50

Generally people won't be too upset if there's a clear and reasonable cut off, like children of immediate family or the bridal party are the only ones invited. If the rules aren't obvious then some people will be pissed off, and of course some people like to get angry about anything but you never would have pleased them anyway.

JustGiveMeWineNow · 31/05/2025 19:50

It’s your wedding you do you. £80 a child is ridiculous. Your rational for the ones you are inviting is clear and fair. But you are not going to please all the people all of the time. Think it was cheeky of finances cousin to even ask tbh.

ThinWomansBrain · 31/05/2025 19:50

Could always say to those that ask that it's a budget restraint.
If distant cousin wants to bring a bunch of kids you don't know, does he fancy stumping up £240 for the pleasure?

WinSomeandLoseSome · 31/05/2025 19:49

It would piss me off. But as mumsnet are fond of reminding us it is your weddings your choice. Just don’t moan if there are consequences.

Themagicfarawaytreeismyfav · 31/05/2025 19:48

Personally i would have all or none apart from your own! People will be pissed off that its one rule for one and another for others.

rubyslippers · 31/05/2025 19:47

You’ve made a pragmatic decision
id understand why you’ve done it, but if people want to get cross about it, they will (and there’s nothing you can do)

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/05/2025 19:47

Are people going to come to the wedding and be potentially livid that we’ve cherry picked the children that could come?

Yes.

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