To invite some children but not others to wedding?

Why not sort the guest list before committing to a venue?

because most people do not plan their entire wedding around guest's children 😂

This.

How utterly rude and obnoxious for a guest to be ‘livid’ that their DC aren’t invited to a wedding. Don’t go if you are beyond offended - and remember that your DC are the centre of your world but they aren’t the centre of anyone elses.

Entitled parents will be pissed off.
On other threads, some entitled CF moaned that an unknown remote cousin or their neighbour wasn't invited 😂

Others will completely understand.

Please just spare them the patronising "no child so you have a nice night off". I have no problem with child-free, or limited child-only weddings. I arrange my childcare if I can. It pissed me off immensely when it's presented as doing ME a favour, it's not.

It’s not only cost. The OP clearly says that she doesn’t want the vibe of the 36 children either. A wedding where a third of the guests are children has a hugely different feel and the OP doesn’t want that. The OP worked out who she wanted to be there as well, and it wasn’t an entire primary school class.

Some people will be pissed off but also loads of people, if you invite all children, will choose not to bring them. So you can probably chance inviting all of them and giving people the option.

For our wedding we invited everyone with their children, was a horrible idea to me to exclude them. That was 11 children invited and only 5 came. Lots of people prefer to come just as adults.

Your wedding, your guest list .... adults, children, dogs, whoever you want.

Immediate family and wedding party only is a clear and reasonable boundary. People will whinge, but you simply say "we did a head count of potential child guests and it came to 36 which sadly we simply can't accommodate" ... and nothing else. Any more detail and you'll sound defensive and they'll try to suggest ways around it.

I’ve been married twice and both times we worked out who we wanted to be there and then where it would be and how much it would cost and made tweaks as needed. You didn’t suddenly realise there were 36 kids related to the adult guests you were inviting. Why not sort the guest list before committing to a venue? It sounds extortionate if each child will cost £80 - how?! - so you could easily have accommodated everyone somewhere less extravagant. Prioritising a place over people seems odd and bound to lead to problems.

I’d always assume the only children invited to a wedding are the children of close family and very close friends of the b&g. I’d never assume or expect my own DC to be invited.
I was at my cousins wedding recently and apart from her own DC and her sisters DC she had the DC of her closest friend who she has been best friends with since primary school and would have a close relationship with her friends children. I get on really well with this cousin but I never expected my DC to be invited and neither did anyone other guests at the wedding. I actually met one of my DCs teachers there (friend of the bride) and she was also saying she was enjoying her child free afternoon/evening out.

It depends if you can give a solid reason.

so for example family children only or bf babies only or children only for people who have come from abroad etc.

Our wedding was daytime only and most people were under 2hrs from home. We invited children we knew, but not those we didn't.

We did this for our wedding, had nephews, nieces and children of wedding party and not others. Did some people moan? Yes. did I care? Absolutely not!

True. But it is cherry picking.

She asked if people would be annoyed. They will. No one’s thinking about what the total number of kids will be. They care about their own families.

I wouldn’t be offended at all. I’m going to a wedding later this year where my six month old isn’t invited, but if children of the wedding party or those who’d travelled long distances were there, I’d understand. I think the only thing you have to do is keep it equitable between groups of people.

Good idea. Is this possible to implement, OP?

Why though? 36 kids at a wedding would be chaos!

But it doesn't matter... its your wedding. They got an invite, not a summons, they can choose to decline if they are that bothered.

Have the wedding you want, invite the kids you want, and if Sharon's 3 kids aren't invited then Sharon needs to accept that and either get a sitter to attend or not go.

£80 for a child? Good grief! That’s an absolute rip-off.

My friend had family children at her wedding but didn't invite friends children. I think that is completely understandable.

This.

Tell your cousin that you've had to restrict the kids attending due to cost to those from immediate family & party only. However, he is welcome to bring his children if he'd be willing to pay £80 per head.

Let them be pissed off . Narrow minded selfish people usually are . Not your problem .

I thought this was the norm?? We only had children we were close with at the wedding (nieces/nephews, my best friends children, DHs godchildren)

I definitely wouldn’t want 36 random kids at my wedding. I also love getting invited to kid free weddings - adore my kids but idk how I’d entertain them at someone they’ve met twices wedding ?