To invite some children but not others to wedding?

I'm neither married nor a parent but I don't see how your kind of rule can be anything other than completely normal and expected. A large percentage of people have children. But I've never been to a wedding with more than a handful. So I assume family children or no children is the norm. Not friends or colleagues children. A wedding isn't a children's party. Why would most children even want to go if it's not their aunt/uncle/cousin/mum/dad etec getting married?!

Brother in law had a wedding of around 150 people and the only children under 10 that were invited are my 2 children ( we live abroad so travelled for this ) and 1 other nephew. There were 2 other teenagers who are the bride’s siblings. I don’t see an issue as the children are family. There would have been around 40 children otherwise which is a big stretch

Because you can't exclude family based on age. Who looks after the kids while family is at family wedding?
No need to invite friends kids whom they don't know.
Or 100 random other guests.

Oh God, we were similar 36 kids from babies to late teens. The limit for the venue was 100 people.
We ended up with family kids on my side. Various reasons for that, inc a cousin who's only babysitter would be at the wedding, and a single parent who I'd rather they came with kid rather than a plus 1 random or they might have brought kid as plus 1.

It's impossible trying to sort a guest list for a wedding.

Why do you think the B&G should spend £80 on each of your kids?

“Dear guests. While we love children we have made the decision not to include them on the invitations due to the large numbers and costs involved. If you would like to bring yours please speak to Toadstool to discuss food and payment options as set by the venue”.

She said no kids apart from family. You aren't family.

Stop coordinating your besties with your child's besties and it will be much better for all involved.

Family children. No friends children unless you know them really well.

Most people would get this, I wouldn't be concerned.

Maybe your boys are naughty or she doesn’t like them?

It's your wedding, invite whoever you want to invite. Seems you've made a very reasonable decision regarding the children who are invited (I'm sure you want your children to have some playmates, and it makes lots of sense to invite the children whose family are travelling internationally to attend!).

You may find that the people with kids really don't want to bring them anyway and are looking forward to a day out without kid responsibilities! Hooray for babysitters! I don't know what your financial situation is or what the people are like, but I know from previous weddings I've attended that some offer a babysitter/group babysitter for little kiddos at whatever hotel has been selected. But that seems to be more of an American way of doing things because people often have to travel very long distances to attends weddings (which, of course, isn't such a massive issue in the UK given the whole of GB is smaller than many states!).

You'll soon find out if people are going to be snotty - that's on them (and it can be kind of useful in a way to see that side of people).

Not a wedding but my friend's 50th. She had hired a youth hostel that we often stayed at. "Sorry mate, no kids apart from family."
I got there to find that everyone else's kids were there. Particularly bizarre as her 2 boys were besties with my 2. Other friends asked me why mine weren't there. Had i fancied a child-free weekend? Errm, not really.
Made it very clear where my family was in her pecking order.

There will be trouble ahead!

As long as youve not put on your invite…. “Whilst we LOVE your children, we want you guys to let your hair down and be free for the night….” You excluding my kids is all good with me x

Why did no-one stop your nephew? That's shockingly bad parenting. I've been to many weddings with young children and haven't ever seen the vows get ruined. I can't believe they were so stupid and selfish.

I think you don't need to invite everyone's kids but being too strict about 'no children' means some people you might really want there would have to refuse. So I think what you've done seems sensible.

With your DH's cousin you'll have to think about how close they are and would you rather pay for the kids or not have them there. We had only family children so DN, plus the children of some close cousins who wouldn't have come otherwise. But I have a small number of cousins and DH has so many none were invited. We've been married a long time though and for our silver wedding anniversary we have invited children but it's more informal and at home so we can be flexible.

Your guests will be p*55ed off at you favouring other children (obviously not your own).

It may be a hot topic of conversation at your wedding and you may find people aren’t as close with you moving forward.

Only a complete cheeky fxxker thinks their children are ENTITLED to go to any wedding.

Sure it might suit people for their children to be invited, but to expect it? Absolutely not.

36 children sounds like a very expensive creche day.
Do not apologise.
At £80 a head you are talking nearly £3k for a large group of children to attend your day?

Absolutely not.
Stiffen your back and don't entertain it for a minute.

I would understand completely and not care at all if my dc were not invited. I really can't understand people who are funny about it, given the costs.

I'm going to my cousin's wedding next weekend and my kids aren't invited but others are. I'm not at all offended or annoyed about it, I understand they have a budget to stick too. I think nieces and nephews should be invited though. Have you missed family children out though and having bridesmaids children (assuming BM isn't family). That part seems a bit off.

We had to pick and choose... I wanted no children but hubby had a young neice and nephew and wanted them there. My bridesmaids kids weren't invited but they had a drama the night before which meant they had to come too. I felt awful after we had said no kids originally but what can you do. Our vows on our wedding video are drowned out by my nephew shouting and screaming clappa clappa handies... I know what i would have preferred. Don't ever feel guilty for your decisions

Invite who you want at your wedding. If it offends some ppl, that’s their issue.

It’s your wedding, it’s up to you who to invite. I think you have done the right thing and agree that 36 kids would be chaos.

I think it’s fine as long as it isn’t just a couple of families that are being singled out. Unless you’re going to say your bridesmaids have 20 kids between them!
One of DH friends got married a couple of years ago, was a destination wedding (although still in the UK). Invite came through stating no children. Fine, we understood, we booked an airBnB for the week and invited my parents to come and they looked after our kids on the day.
Get to the wedding and it was ridiculous. We expected family children only. No, turned out there were 20-30 kids there. Turned out every guest that asked to bring their kids were allowed. I think it turned out there were 4 families (including us) who didn’t have our kids. It pissed me right off - DH was an usher so it’s not as though we were random guests.

They care about themselves*