i don’t really understand the attitude “If my kids aren’t welcome at the wedding I’m not coming”.
I see this posted all the time on these threads.
Why do people think their kids have a right to be there? What is it about weddings that makes people unable to go a day without being with their kids?.
You wouldn’t insist your kids attend any other religious celebration, most parties, a visit to a restaurant or museum or a medical appointment?! How come kids only come as a package that is impossible to separate for weddings?
My friends sister made a huge fuss about her children not being invited to their brother’s wedding but said nothing about them not being invited to his New Year’s Eve party. It was mostly the same guests and both included food, dancing and alcohol later, if anything the party wouldn’t have involved the kids sitting for hours being unable to run around and make noise. My friend made a very good point when her sister kept complaining about it that if she could manage to get baby sitters for NYE then why couldn’t they do the same for the wedding? Her brother knew she’d expect the focus to be on the kids all day and that’s part of he didn’t want them there - the main reason is they were badly behaved!
It is an entitled attitude and makes me laugh when the ultimatum is given “If my kids aren’t invited I don’t come”
The people who are precious about their kids being present are usually the ones who are unlikely to be missed if they decline. Occasionally it is someone who the bride and groom would prefer to be there but once they have made a fuss and tried to have things their way it makes the decision easier.
It usually goes two ways with these dilemmas, the people who want a childfree wedding but accept some people won’t attend and who want a peaceful adult wedding.
Or - the people who moan weddings are for families and make a big deal about not attending without their kids, blame it on the couple wanting an “insta worthy wedding” (when they just don’t want kids running round screeching) and who think a wedding is for people to pay attention to their kids dressed up and not the bride and groom.
These are usually the most outspoken who use phrases like “I DETEST” childfree weddings” and words like “empty and soulless”.
I don’t know why anyone feels they have the right to demand anything or request any changes to something they aren’t organising or paying for. If you don’t want to go then just politely turn down the invitation and move on. Some people bring kids uninvited and even dress them so they are stealth page and flower girls, they moan about “bridezillas” and being “self obsessed” but don’t seem to realise that they are the ones being selfish when trying to make the day about their kids.
My wedding wasn’t child free but I regret that now, my husband has a huge family with loads of children and they just ran riot all day, it was like being in soft play and all you could hear was kids.
They ruined the wedding favours, I had ice cream all over my dress because kids kept trying to touch it or wanted picking up and I went and hid at one point for some peace and to avoid being hassled for photos with random kids I hardly knew.
At night they all stormed the dance floor and the DJ even ended up playing kids music, I felt like a guest at a child’s birthday party. It completely changed the vibe from what I’d hoped for and me and DH left the reception early.
OP please don’t back down on this, have your wedding how you want it and it’s better for some guests to refuse then spending the evening amidst a bunch of hyper kids dancing to gangum style and sliding across the dance floor whilst you wonder where their parents are and mourn the vision you had of the day being about getting married and not just being a family reunion.