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Original poster

Was it strange to ask on a Friday afternoon if she’s free on a Saturday ?

93 replies

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:41

I reached out to one of my DS friends mums on a Friday evening, as my DS asked me to ask if he could see his friend the next day at a fun fair.

I texted the mum saying :

’ hey. Totally short notice, but Jonny asked if Jo wanted to come to the funfair that’s in town ? ‘

the mum replied the next day saying :

’ This weekend ? We can’t, busy with XYZ ‘..

they’re just 5, so any play dates involve parents.

I guess because I didn’t explicitly say ‘ tomorrow ‘ or ‘ this weekend ‘, she double checked that’s what I meant.

but surely I did mean that ?

how would you have taken my text ?

I know, it’s totally not a big deal. I’m not upset about it. I’m just a bit bored and wanted to see how others would read it.

I read it like ‘ omg you’re asking me on a Friday about a Saturday? ‘..

OP posts:
ShellieAnn · 31/05/2025 19:29

You should have just said " tomorrow". It's understandable if it's one of those events that's on for one day and you knew for certain that she knew when it was.

Mulledjuice · 31/05/2025 19:28

I read it like ‘ omg you’re asking me on a Friday about a Saturday? ‘..

Why would you read it like that? It doesn't read like that to me.

Original poster
blueshuh · 31/05/2025 19:27

Yeah in my head - ‘ totally short notice ‘ was enough to mean the next day- but it wasn’t for her. Which is fine.

it says a lot about how communicate probably. I think I can improve there. To me it was clear and so I initially took her ‘ this weekend ? ‘, a bit funny. Like she couldn’t believe I would ask her if she could hang out on a Saturday- on a Friday night. But that’s not how she actually meant it at all.

OP posts:
ShellieAnn · 31/05/2025 19:26

She was clarifying when you meant. How is she meant to second guess?

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 31/05/2025 19:21

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:57

I think I do ! But like I said in my opener, this isn’t a big deal. I was just curious how others would view that exchange and I totally get it that to me, it looked clear but that’s not how others take the word ‘ short notice ‘ and I should have been clearer in my text. I was in a rush and just sent it without thinking. Also the fair is only in town for that weekend. But it’s honestly no big deal. I’m just curious how the human mind works sometimes and how you can really f up when communicating. Like I did here !

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But I don't think you did fuck up communicating. You meant this weekend. She assumed that you meant this weekend but just double checked that she had understood properly before declining because she was busy. There wasn't really anything wrong on either side of the interaction? You're definitely overthinking it!Grin

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 31/05/2025 19:21

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:45

But how is asking for the next weekend ‘ last minute ‘ ?

Who has said it's last minute?

Springtime43 · 31/05/2025 19:17

bridgetreilly · 31/05/2025 18:47

You might have meant after school one day? You are massively overthinking this. She didn’t say you were unreasonable, just made sure what you meant and said they were busy. This is an entirely normal interaction and I can’t see why you are trying to read something into it.

Totally this!

FrodoBiggins · 31/05/2025 19:17

FrodoBiggins · 31/05/2025 18:49

She didn't say "this is last minute" according to your account though, unless I'm missing something? That's just how you read it because you're overthinking it

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Ah sorry I see now - YOU said it was "totally short notice" so by that you assumed she'd know you didn't mean next wk.

I still think she was simply checking though. I see that you get it now.

ScrewedByFunding · 31/05/2025 19:11

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 19:06

It was just my gut reaction, because in my head it was quite clear that I meant the next day. But it’s fine, I get it. It wasn’t clear. How many times will I need to say that I get it ?

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Is there a reason you didn't say when though? It's weird to assume someone knows when you're talking about.

Mary46 · 31/05/2025 19:10

I think be clear what day Sat or Sunday in the text. I have to book my friends weeks in advance as their diaries always full!

Original poster
blueshuh · 31/05/2025 19:06

NotSoSlimShadee · 31/05/2025 19:04

Have read your replies OP and I still don’t get what you’re on about. Why would you be upset about her asking if it’s this weekend?

if she’d said “THIS weekend??? Er no!” Then I could understand your reaction but she is literally just confirming that you meant this weekend. What on earth is wrong with that??

It was just my gut reaction, because in my head it was quite clear that I meant the next day. But it’s fine, I get it. It wasn’t clear. How many times will I need to say that I get it ?

OP posts:
NotSoSlimShadee · 31/05/2025 19:04

Have read your replies OP and I still don’t get what you’re on about. Why would you be upset about her asking if it’s this weekend?

if she’d said “THIS weekend??? Er no!” Then I could understand your reaction but she is literally just confirming that you meant this weekend. What on earth is wrong with that??

Confused19831983 · 31/05/2025 19:04

I think since the pandemic people don’t do things on the spur of the moment and it’s more normal to arrange things weeks in advance! She was double checking.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 31/05/2025 19:01

I’d read that as double checking you meant tomorrow. Not arsey in anyway.

Original poster
blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:57

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 31/05/2025 18:54

OP, do you have form for over analysing stuff?Grin

I think I do ! But like I said in my opener, this isn’t a big deal. I was just curious how others would view that exchange and I totally get it that to me, it looked clear but that’s not how others take the word ‘ short notice ‘ and I should have been clearer in my text. I was in a rush and just sent it without thinking. Also the fair is only in town for that weekend. But it’s honestly no big deal. I’m just curious how the human mind works sometimes and how you can really f up when communicating. Like I did here !

OP posts:
Original poster
blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:54

That’s fine guys, I understand how the message sounds. The one I sent. I didn’t mean it to sound that vague at all, I just missed out the word tomorrow somehow. But her response makes sense to me now. I just wasn’t clear enough.

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 31/05/2025 18:54

OP, do you have form for over analysing stuff?Grin

ChickpeaCauliflowerSalad · 31/05/2025 18:54

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:47

Ow that’s such a shame because I hate to plan too far in advance and ask people to do stuff at short notice all the time. I asked another mum and she came along, no issues. If I asked you at short notice, it would never mean that everyone else said no.

on this occasion I asked the two mums at the same time, as that’s what my son has requested.

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Your take on this post is weird too.

ProtectTransRights · 31/05/2025 18:53

She never said it was last minute she was just clarifying If it was this weekend? 🤨 am I missing something?

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 31/05/2025 18:53

Such a weird thread.

You were vague, she checked to ensure that she had understood and then confirmed that they already had plans. So you went with someone else who happened to be free.

What's the issue, exactly?

ThinWomansBrain · 31/05/2025 18:52

If you're going to overanalyse message replies to that extent, be more detailed in the opener - like include the date?

You thought the message was clear - me, together with PPs and the person you texted, didn't.
If you meant this weekend, the woman is busy.
why make such a drama over a text?

Original poster
blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:52

ChickpeaCauliflowerSalad · 31/05/2025 18:51

You could have been a bit more specific 'tomorrow' or 'Sunday' or whatever. I'd find your vagueness a bit annoying.

..and no, I wouldn't have taken her reply the way you did. I don't even understand how you're getting what you have from her reply?

I think because in my head, it’s clear I meant imminently, this weekend.

but it’s just not clear in my message. Hence her response !

OP posts:
Doctorkrank · 31/05/2025 18:52

You didn’t say when so she had to check! It’s not a criticism for asking at short notice! The exchange is totally normal, there is no issue here.

ThrowawayAccount29 · 31/05/2025 18:52

Majorly overthinking this 🤦‍♀️

ChickpeaCauliflowerSalad · 31/05/2025 18:51

You could have been a bit more specific 'tomorrow' or 'Sunday' or whatever. I'd find your vagueness a bit annoying.

..and no, I wouldn't have taken her reply the way you did. I don't even understand how you're getting what you have from her reply?