Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was it strange to ask on a Friday afternoon if she’s free on a Saturday ?

93 replies

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:41

I reached out to one of my DS friends mums on a Friday evening, as my DS asked me to ask if he could see his friend the next day at a fun fair.

I texted the mum saying :

’ hey. Totally short notice, but Jonny asked if Jo wanted to come to the funfair that’s in town ? ‘

the mum replied the next day saying :

’ This weekend ? We can’t, busy with XYZ ‘..

they’re just 5, so any play dates involve parents.

I guess because I didn’t explicitly say ‘ tomorrow ‘ or ‘ this weekend ‘, she double checked that’s what I meant.

but surely I did mean that ?

how would you have taken my text ?

I know, it’s totally not a big deal. I’m not upset about it. I’m just a bit bored and wanted to see how others would read it.

I read it like ‘ omg you’re asking me on a Friday about a Saturday? ‘..

OP posts:
Iloveyoubut · 31/05/2025 20:40

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:45

But how is asking for the next weekend ‘ last minute ‘ ?

You didn’t say tomorrow. So how was she to know when you meant?

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 31/05/2025 20:37

sweetpickle2 · 31/05/2025 18:43

Well you didn’t give a day or date in your message, so I’d have checked too. I don’t think she was doing any more than that- you’re hugely overthinking.

I agree.
If you'd said "tomorrow" in your message then that would have been absolutely clear. Without that qualifier then 'short notice' could realistically be any time in the next few days or within the week.

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 31/05/2025 20:34

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 18:41

I reached out to one of my DS friends mums on a Friday evening, as my DS asked me to ask if he could see his friend the next day at a fun fair.

I texted the mum saying :

’ hey. Totally short notice, but Jonny asked if Jo wanted to come to the funfair that’s in town ? ‘

the mum replied the next day saying :

’ This weekend ? We can’t, busy with XYZ ‘..

they’re just 5, so any play dates involve parents.

I guess because I didn’t explicitly say ‘ tomorrow ‘ or ‘ this weekend ‘, she double checked that’s what I meant.

but surely I did mean that ?

how would you have taken my text ?

I know, it’s totally not a big deal. I’m not upset about it. I’m just a bit bored and wanted to see how others would read it.

I read it like ‘ omg you’re asking me on a Friday about a Saturday? ‘..

If this is a genuine post.

  1. Forget about it. Accept that your message could have had more specific information (day/date/time/etc) that you knew but didn't pass on.
  2. Learn from it. Try and read it from the recipients POV without any prior knowledge.
Newyearsameolme · 31/05/2025 20:33

If you sent me that message I’d assume you meant that same day. Could also mean tomorrow or Sunday.

Your thread title is incorrect as you didn’t actually ask if the friend was busy ‘on Saturday’.

KnewYearKnewMe · 31/05/2025 20:28

I think it’s easy to get crossed wires with things, even when in your mind, something is so clear.

your message was pretty clear. Her response was, too, but you just have different styles.

hope you had a good time with your other friend.

Moveoverdarlin · 31/05/2025 20:26

Huh??? Your text is fine. Her text is fine. Got no idea what you’re on about really.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/05/2025 20:25

Perfectly reasonable for her to clarify - you didn’t say when you meant, so could be any time.

It’s fine to ask at short notice but equally fine to clarify what you mean, or for people not to be free.

Butchyrestingface · 31/05/2025 20:25

What the actual is this thread in aid of?

I can't even ... 😵‍💫

Chonk · 31/05/2025 20:23

Ilikeadrink14 · 31/05/2025 20:13

You say you’re a ‘bit bored’ and that’s why you have started this. The rest of us are probably not bored, in which case you are wasting our time! Try a crossword!
Honestly, this thread gets weirder and weirder!!

You're wasting your own time, the OP isn't wasting it for you.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 31/05/2025 20:19

Other mum sounds like me. I’m absolutely useless at reading between the lines so would always have to ask for clarification. Often I have to ask DH to translate vague texts for me because I’m just clueless. I need people to literally spell things out to me.

HRLRichards · 31/05/2025 20:18

You said it’s not a problem etc you just wanted to know what people on here think…. You must be very very bored! Pop Netflix on and relax, nothing about either persons exchange was weird….

Ilikeadrink14 · 31/05/2025 20:13

You say you’re a ‘bit bored’ and that’s why you have started this. The rest of us are probably not bored, in which case you are wasting our time! Try a crossword!
Honestly, this thread gets weirder and weirder!!

Hoplolly · 31/05/2025 20:13

There's some serious over-thinking going on here. OP are you usually like this? It sounds like more of an issue on your part. Completely normal response.

RitaFires · 31/05/2025 20:08

People's definitions of short notice can vary so it's natural to ask a follow up question when you didn't say a day or a time in the invitation. It's best to be clear about when you're inviting people somewhere.

WaltzingWaters · 31/05/2025 20:02

Completely normal response on her part. Odd of you to not clarify a rough time though on your part. Last minute could refer to any time that week or so really. She was just clarifying what you meant and saying she couldn’t this weekend because of xyz. You’re making an issue out of nothing.

Ellie1015 · 31/05/2025 20:02

I would have checked when you meant too. In case it was after school Mon, or if it fitted around her other plans. There might have been a window of time that could work.

Also if she said no without clarifying then some people might have felt it was rude as she said no without even knowing the time/day.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 31/05/2025 19:59

Blimey. The conversation is completely normal on both sides. You questioning it afterwards is very strange.

whoeverwouldhavethoughtit · 31/05/2025 19:54

@blueshuh Hey are you ok, OP? Just wondering as you are massively overthinking an everyday, normal text exchange.

I would have double checked too if I was the other mum. Just to make sure as you were a bit vague although I get it that you said it was 'short notice'.

I mean this kindly, but do you often question what people say/do in everyday life?

ExpectoOff · 31/05/2025 19:47

My Mum is always asking me to do stuff with short notice and it does my head in. I tell her all the time we need a few weeks, so next weekend would be short notice! Some people get booked and busy really far in advance. I just checked our diary and the next free weekend we have isn’t until June 28th now.

samarrange · 31/05/2025 19:37

Ooh, now we can have a discussion about when "next weekend" means "this coming weekend" versus "the weekend after the one that's coming". I think it's starting from about Tuesday, but I'm open to offers.

DontTouchRoach · 31/05/2025 19:36

You’re overthinking this so much. You must be exhausted if you read this much into every interaction. I guarantee you that this friend was doing nothing more than thinking aloud - we all ask questions all the time that we know the answer to, it’s just a buying-thought-time thing like saying ‘Er…’ or ‘Well…’. In her head she was thinking ‘Hmm, this weekend? Are we busy? Oh, we are, that’s a shame’ and that was how she replied to the message. Honestly, let it go.

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 19:34

Haha I’m just checking the text I sent to the other mum and I said the same thing !! she asked me ‘ when are you going ? ‘ I reply ‘ it opens at 12 ‘ and she says ‘ tomorrow ? ‘.. to which I say ‘ yes ‘..

so she also definitely wasn’t sure what I meant either. I need to brush up on my communication I think.

OP posts:
BusySittingDown · 31/05/2025 19:32

There's nothing wrong with either message. She was letting you know that they were busy. If they weren't busy she might have said "Tomorrow? Oh yes, that's fine. He'll love that." She's just clarifying.

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 31/05/2025 19:30

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 19:06

It was just my gut reaction, because in my head it was quite clear that I meant the next day. But it’s fine, I get it. It wasn’t clear. How many times will I need to say that I get it ?

You'll probably need to say it at least another 16 times @blueshuh 😂😂 some people on here just don't read all OP posts or don't care and still want to create their own narrative

blueshuh · 31/05/2025 19:30

Mulledjuice · 31/05/2025 19:28

I read it like ‘ omg you’re asking me on a Friday about a Saturday? ‘..

Why would you read it like that? It doesn't read like that to me.

Because to me it was as if I had actually said ‘ are you free tomorrow ? ‘

if she’s then replied ‘ do you mean this weekend ?’..
that would definitely have been a bit weird.

OP posts: