Was it strange to ask on a Friday afternoon if she’s free on a Saturday ?

She might well have said yes if they weren’t busy, but they already were. That’s not a function of unacceptably short notice - they just had plans already.

Yes this, if you are in the position of over thinking what others say to you it might be best to not too it may make you appear too intense to them even if you think they dont realise

Well done!!

you got there in the end, hopefully this will help you going forward. Just remember other people aren't inside your head and lots of things are subjective! Short notice means different time periods to different people & in different situations. Be more specific!

Nothing wrong with asking at very short notice, as long as you accept people might already be busy!!

Hope you have fun!!

Are you bored as this really doesn’t seem an issue whichever way you look at it?!

you are totally overthinking, I wouldn’t worry x

This is the most bizarre overreaction to a complete normal interaction

Someone clarifying is not an insult. This poor woman probably typed out a 2 second reply. I don't think anything needs to be learnt from this, I think it's a completely normal way of sorting out when each other is free to meet

If the funfair’s on for several weeks it’s impossible to know when you meant.

Not to be critical but if we're telling about clarity, I don't think that exchange is very clear either. "It opens at 12" doesn't answer the question "when are you going?". I wouldn't know whether you meant "we're going at 12" or "we've not agreed a time yet, it needs to be some time after 12"

Don't worry about it though, text is a pain in the arse way to communicate, this kind of thing happens all the time. As long as people reply promptly to clarify, it's all good.

Guess what time you send it at as could be 'now' if it was sent while fun fair open that's what I'd think
Ah well sometimes people have stuff organised can't do last min other times people delighted to get last minute invite so think all fine no need change much for next time other then clarify day

Her reply is fine, I just think adding ‘apologias’ would’ve been more polite. And possibly offering an alternative date to meet up.

I also think your initial message was fine.

I had to re-read what you wrote about 6 times to even register the ‘short notice’ bit. I think most people reading that message in their brains skip over the intro and focus on the question. So what went ding, ding, ding in her brain was, do you want to go to the fun fair? And then she would have started to think about when it might be happening and how busy they are. She won’t have re-read it and registered the short notice bit and realised you meant a specific imminent date.

I think if you said, do you want to go to the fun fair? Sorry, I know it’s quite short notice. Then she probably would have still clarified what day, but she would have realised you meant in the next couple of days.

That said, you obviously do need to plan in advance with this friend because she did already have weekend plans, which wouldn’t be unusual for most people on a Friday.

OP appears to be an overthinking looking for reassurance. What was this post in aid of?

No, it's not strange. What's strange is that you're over-reacting enough to post about it.

The other thing is, I’m often in a hurry doing a few things at once and needing to reply to a couple of messages. I don’t agonise over them and assume the other person isn’t either. It kind of worries me when I see someone is!

She was literally just confirming this weekend? We're busy. But if I caught wind someone was whinging about me on MN for a simple text, little Johnny definitely wouldn't be going to the fair with them, because they sound like one of those "hard work" friends.

Normal response - it gave you the opportunity to say 'Oh, no, next weekend' if she'd misunderstood, rather than just saying 'We're busy' when it might have meant next week and not today.

It's like when you tell a kid they're going to the beach - you tell them straight away that it's next week to avoid them getting upset that they aren't going right now - or you tell your DP on Thursday that you'll be working late Monday so he doesn't think he needs to ask a favour of his boss so he can pick the kids up in a couple of hours.

Assume they aren't psychic and give people the information they need - What, where and when - not just what and where.

I think you’re overthinking things. In the same way you said you hastily sent a message, she just pinged a message back to you without thinking too much about the wording. I regularly suggest doing things on the spur of the moment and have friends that do the same, and I am sure many of us have said something along the lines of what this mum said.

Yes you do need to be clearer in your initial texts - it’s pretty basic protocol to always state which date and time when asking to arrange something with someone over message. Most adults know this!

I’m ND and hate it when others expect me to mind read. It really pisses me off, probably irrationally so.

I’d have definitely replied asking for clarification.

Funnily enough, I was chatting to my teen DS earlier about arranging meet-ups via text and told him he needed to be very clear about stating where and when (date/time) when texting his pals rather than a vague “do you fancy going for coffee?”. He’s finished school for the summer so has about 12 weeks to fill. 😳

I told him that nothing gets sorted if the message is left too vague. 😆

Good Lord this is hard work! I’m sorry but the word tomorrow exists for a reason! Just say tomorrow in future!

I don't get it. You texted her yesterday asking "hey it's totally short notice but does jonnny want to come to the funfair"?

She replied ’ This weekend ? We can’t, busy with XYZ ‘..

What is the problem exactly? She assumed you meant this weekend, which you did and told you they are too busy.

What am I missing?

short notice could mean in 10 minutes time! Or tomorrow morning, 7am. Or tomorrow after lunch. Or Monday night.

Or any time at all really…...

Your question was so vague - literally no information on day/time etc - she had no choice but to clarify!

Did she even know that the funfair was in town?

I would assume you meant the next day but I would still ask to clarify.

Short notice is not possible in our house, we work and DD was in childcare/had clubs so weekends were always planned. It was rare that we had a lazy one.

I would have clarified this also, as you didnt say which weekend in your text, just mentioned the funfair. I would have double checked that it was definitely this coming weekend you were talking about.