9YOD Pubescent GC of neighbour running around with bra top & 'Booty shorts'

What did your dh say to the poor girl and what do you mean you left him to "deal with her". Mi wouldn't be letting her walk your dog anymore, you both sound very sanctimonious.

It might be that if the child is noticeably overweight and wearing a tight bikini top that is contributing to their impression that she has started 'developing' at a glance (when at 9 she is unlikely to be that far into puberty).

I can’t believe people are obsessing over the shorts and missing this “We love to share our neighbour's GC.”
This isn’t normal and the red flag for abuse is the number of adults this child is exposed to and not her clothes.

I appreciate you wouldn't have allowed your own children or have wanted your grandchildren wearing cropped tops/skimpy shorts - that's your decision and nothing wrong with that decision. As parents, we all do what we think is best for our children. The problem is, this young girl is not your daughter or granddaughter, and as such, how she dresses is none of your business. Asking her to go home and change, because you don't agree with her outfit choices, was overstepping boundaries. Her parents or grandparents bought those items of clothing for her. I doubt very much at 9, even if she'd saved up pocket money, she went out and bought the clothes herself without parental approval. So you have to presume the adults in her life were perfectly happy to buy the clothing and approved. It wasn't your place or your husband's to comment on her clothing or ask her to change. I understand why her grandparents challenged you, and weren't very happy. You need to now think how that young girl feels? She may not really understand why you asked her to change? At 9, she sees clothes she likes, it's not about her wanting to sexualise herself, at that age she wouldn't have a clue what that meant. She's possibly unaware she's a little on the heavier side, but what if she is? She may now believe you asked her to cover up because she's fat? Fully expect her to never be allowed to walk your dog again.

You are right, it’s not booty shorts. It’s highly relevant though.

What she wears may not make a difference, but abusers are not stupid and they profile victims. A 9 year old prancing around dressed like that says a lot about their home life. Not saying they're neglected, but it does signal that certain things may be lax.

Girls often get their belly’s and legs out in summer. I wouldn’t read anything into it and I wouldn’t be telling a child who was nothing to do with me to get changed.

He pointed out that, despite her young years, that 'Eve' is becoming a young woman now & they need to protect her.

She is 9 years old, she’s not remotely a young woman and it’s so grim to say that. I can’t imagine telling a 9 year to go home and cover up.

OP is not describing a pair of short shorts and a top that skims the midriff. She’s talking about tight, knicker shorts and a bra-top. In what universe is that appropriate for a child to wear?

Porn culture has really done a number on us, hasn’t it?

who is designing these clothes for kids?

who is buying these clothes for their kids?

what are kids watching to look up to this way of dressing?

OP was absolutely clumsy, I’d have said something about sunburn…but Christ alive, some posters are so open minded that their brains have fallen out.

i remember the same insane takes on the ‘14 year old in the Shein thong bikini on holiday with grandparents’ thread.

Pride and confidence in your body’s capabilities doesn’t come from being dressed in a pair of batty riders when you’re in primary school. I would argue the complete opposite.

I imagine it was nike shorts which are all the rage. Honestly my daughter wears them but generally just at home or under dresses. She went out in them without me knowing and I wasnt pleased.

What really annoyed me was that you referred to her as overweight. My daughter probably looks a little overweight but she's actually not as she was weighed at school. She's very active just holds her weight. It makes no difference to her clothing choices apparently but if she was skinny would you have minded less?

That's not booty shorts though?

I think most of us would agree there's clothing on sale that we would prefer our children not to be wearing, with slogans that aren't really child-appropriate.

But since the dawn of time, kids have worn short shorts to run around in because they're practical, comfy, and convenient. Calling them "booty shorts" sexualises a perfectly normal piece of child's attire.

FWIW, I wouldn't let a child of mine out in bra tops etc at that age. But it's not my child and it's not obscene so it's not any of my business - and not up to the OP to police what is widely accepted as normal child clothing.

I think her age and development is irrelevant. It's not about sexualising kids. It's about protecting them from creeps that already exist and also protecting their self esteem. A 9 year old girl shouldn't feel the need to dress in a bra and booty shorts just to feel more grown up, which is likely what she wants to do having seen outfits like that on social media.
Shops needs to stop this as well, there are literal booty shorts being sold in toddler sections, that don't even cover up the child's nappy! It's not ok.

However, you should've told her to get something in the context of sunburn. E.g go get a long t-shirt and a hat and come back. Don't want you getting burnt shoulders.
Aside from it being inappropriate, kids don't really forget body comments, so you need to tread lightly.

Presumably the parents know she has those clothes and the grandparents knew what she had on so not your place to comment to child. If you were very worried perhaps talk to the granparents, but even then it is a bit of an touchy subject. I assume it is the sporty style ones which are very popular rather than actual underwater.

What she wears won't make a difference to an abuser. It is parents job to manage this and they have allowed her to wear this outfit.

Clothes don't sexualise children. Creepy adults do.

Good for you for speaking up for the child . I would not allow a child of 9 to wear revealing and sexualised clothing out like that. I would be concerned and feel sorry for a child of that age wearing those clothes. It’s a red flag. Most people ignore child protection issues so good for you.

In what world did you think it was your place to tell someone else’s child how to dress. Why are you telling a 9 year old that they should cover up because their outfit choice sexualises them and giving them body issues leave her alone and keep your opinions on how she chooses to dress to yourself.

I don't think it was any of your business. You have no reason to suspect abuse so I really think you should have kept your opinions on what she was wearing to yourself. Sorry - you sound nice but I think you overstepped here.

I don’t think you should have said anything because it’s not your child but I do agree with you. Not because of predators (you can be raped in any outfit) but just because of the connotations of certain clothing - my DSD 9 has some friends who dress the way a stereotype of an exotic dancer might and it doesn’t sit easy with me. It’s also an issue with different clothing for different occasions e.g. in the same way that pyjamas are for bed or lounging at home not for the school run/supermarket, bikinis are for paddling pool, swimming, sunbathing, not for walking around the streets. I feel the same way about men by the way - there’s a reason hot countries have to have no shirt no service rules.

You are being COMPLETELY unreasonable. I would argue that it is rude at the least but bordering on abusive to lead a vulnerable developing girl to believe there is something offensive about her body and to make her feel so uncomfortable about being seen, she needed to cover it up. Would you have asked a 9 year old boy to cover up? I think that’s disgraceful and way overstepping.

Girls are victim blamed all the time and led to believe that if they dress differently or hide their bodies away, or shrink them that will keep them safe. It leads to girl who grow into women who hate their bodies, apologise for existing, doubt their gut instincts, doubt that they are entitled to set boundaries, feel anxious and at the extreme end can lead to eating disorders and mental illness.

9 year old bodies - just like any young woman’s body - is just a body, it is the problem of the perceiver if they sexualise it. That’s not that girl’s problem. I find it very disturbing you are also commenting that the child is overweight. She is a CHILD - who is still growing. Let her live.

The number 1 cause of s*xual abuse is abusers. You need to research all the different situations abuse happens in. Clothes don’t prevent abuse.

It’s so important to instil in girls confidence in who they are and in their bodies and to support them to understand other people’s judgements are not their problem. This girl is out living her life, you have no right to tell her what to put on her body. You see her body and feel uncomfortable - that’s your problem not hers. You need to deal with your own discomfort and mind your business

If you said that to my daughter, I would be livid

This.

MYOB, she's NOT your Grandchild, it's not your place to tell her what's acceptable to wear.

I had a related Google too. Look what I found.

It is none of your business, you might be a bit taken aback at what she was wearing but it is not your place to say anything. She sounds like a nice child coming round to walk your dog so maybe just appreciate that

You were Unreasonable and inappropriate @Idratherreadabookthanks.

And, in general, OP has no business telling a random child what to wear.