9YOD Pubescent GC of neighbour running around with bra top & 'Booty shorts'

I was thinking this the other day when I saw a picture on instagram of the icecream twins. Both dressed in skimpy shorts and crop tops. It’s fine to wear at home but not out the house & definitely not on social media. You don’t know what creeps are looking. But I would have said as a pp said to cover up so they don’t get burnt. As well as the fact that other children would laugh at her for going out in those clothes. The grandparents should have more sense themselves to wear something more appropriate. I was SA myself you don’t know what creeps are looking at children taking photos. Using AI to play out their sick fantasies and distributing them online.

OP personally I would not have said anything but I think you meant well and I also believe you are right thinking the clothes were not really appropriate ... In my view there are times and places for things, and if Eve were my grandchild I would not have been ok with her going to walk my neighbours’ dog wearing only that. I literally would have said ‘please put a T-shirt on’. I would not have said this to the neighbours GC though. The problem here is that people view this as body shaming (and maybe it is) but maybe you were thinking ‘it takes a village to raise a child’? I do think though that her weight has nothing to do with it. But: I dont think Eve will be traumatised for life. That can only happen if her GC make a huge issue out of this. If they instead calmly explain ‘the neighbours have view A and we have view B and you don’t have to go walking their dog if you don’t want to’ then that’s all there’s to it - you have not scarred her for life.

Any man who sees a 9 year old child as a “young woman” should not be left alone with a child in any circumstances.

I don't agree with OP's decision to insert herself into decisions around what somebody else's child wears. However the number of people on here who are aggressively arguing that there's no such thing as an inappropriate outfit for a little girl is disturbing (although when challenged and asked if this extends to stockings and suspenders, suddenly that's "different", therefore implying that actually there might be such a thing as an inappropriate outfit for a child 🙄). Everybody knows that some outfits are sexualised. I hope that everyone would, in reality, think it was a massive safeguarding issue and wildly inappropriate for a parent to dress their 9 year old daughter in a skin tight mini dress and 5" perspex heels. Acknowledging that this is an inappropriate, overly sexualised outfit does not imply that the person holding that view is sexualising the child. And although it's less extreme, booty shorts (which to me means extremely short hot pants with butt cheeks visible or very nearly visible) and a bra is also sexualised clothing which is not appropriate for a young child to wear.
It's really, really creepy and so nasty when people try to shut down opinions of people who are seeking to protect girls by using the DARVO tactic of accusing that person of being a paedophile. Especially when the person being accused is themselves a survivor of CSA. Such an awful thing to do.

I have three daughters and live by the beach. They often play on the beach in bikinis or swimsuits.

They also often wear shorts and a crop top in hot weather. Or a swimsuit and a pair of shorts on top. Playing in our garden, going to play in the garden of their neighbourhood friends etc. They are children and I will absolutely defend their natural right to wear a bikini or shorts and a crop top without fucked up adults telling them that showing their natural bodies is offensive. They are not showing bum cheeks, they are not showing nipples. Anyone who think this in appropriate for a 9 year old child is fucked up and inappropriate.

Would the same people have an issue with a male child wearing just a pair of shorts to play football in the park or on the beach??

I absolutely will not allow my girls to feel ashamed of their bodies. Or to be told that they “were asking for it” if they have a little bit of flesh on show.

I agree, if a man said this phrase about my nine year old daughter then I would be seeing him in a new light. Not a flattering one, a cautious and creeped out one.

The adults on here putting more weight of responsibility for not being abused by predators on children than the predators are as vile as the OP and her creepy husband.

A 9 year is not a young woman. She is a child. Any hint of sexualisation in her clothes or ‘prancing’ is projected by the adult in every scenario. Those of you holier than thou-ing on this child’s clothes as ‘protecting them’ are using the very same excuses predators use to victim blame, and legitimising the excuses and blame.

Where on earth in my post did I say it was offensive or provocative?! I prefer my children, boy and girl, to wear something that covers their torso unless they’re swimming - I personally wouldn’t go out exposing my midriff in public so I apply the same to them. I don’t think that’s a terribly unusual position to take and I’m not sure why if you’re so confident in your choices you’re so offended by mine.

Of course we all wish this was how the world worked, but it just isn't is it?

If it was a young girl could walk down the street with nipple clamps and suspenders without being hassled.

I class parents that let their children wear some of the ridiculously oversexualised outfits the same as those that plonk their child on an ipad all day, or feed them shite. Ineffective and stupid at best, dangerous at worst.

It's a parents job to teach their child how to navigate the world, as it actually is. We can tell them what we wished it were, but they should still be ready to deal with the realities.

And the reality is that creepy men will feel even more empowered than usual to stare and make inappropriate comments at women and children in revealing clothes. No, it doesn't make you more at risk of rape, they bloody do that anyway. But it can make a young girls day a LOT more uncomfortable and scary than it should be.

Additionally some predators also take it as an indicator that the parents aren't as protective or as bothered, so they believe the child might be more vulnerable to them.

Whilst I wouldn’t let my young daughter out in crop tops and very short shorts I certainly wouldn’t tell a child that wasn’t mine what they should be wearing.
People have very different views on clothing, for example I’ve always put my children in one piece swim suits etc
There are lots of little cute bikinis etc that they could wear in their age range but it’s not what I would pick, at the beach this weekend there were kids running around in underwear and a variety of swimwear of different styles.
My nieces/nephews don’t wear the style of clothes I would choose for my children and I spend a lot of time with them, the only time I would ask them to change is if what they were wearing wasn’t suitable for the activity they were about to do.

If a predator is going to sexually assault a child, he will do it whether she is wearing a bikini or a burka

The biggest risk here is not the belly top, it’s being left in the home alone with a random old man who is just the neighbour of her grandparents.
Do the parents even know?? Have they actually okayed her being left alone in this man’s home??

Omg are you seriously going to argue about semantics? I just imagined a 9 year old child walking around looking for something to do. It's not really the point is it.

OP is not describing a pair of short shorts and a top that skims the midriff. She’s talking about tight, knicker shorts and a bra-top. In what universe is that appropriate for a child to wear?

Based on what?

OP hasn't been back (for some reason <eyeroll>) so there's no clarification.

I think you're deluded if you don't think clothes sexualise people. There are social norms and what we wear sends a message to people. Yes the lines have been blurred with social media and total acceptance of anything anyone wants, but there are still norms. Aside from being impractical, an outfit like that is just not appropriate for a 9 hear old, regardless of whether others wear it or not. Shops shouldn't be selling it. She should be wearing things that allow her to play and stay safe in the sun.
But I don't think it was the OPs place to make that comment, I don't agree with anything other than, you'll get sunburnt go get something for your shoulders.

I'm sorry but "prancing around" is a deeply weird turn of phrase to be using, especially in this context. This is a 9 year old CHILD walking round to a neighbour's house to walk their dog, where does "prancing around" come into it?

You aren't right in the head and should stay away from children.

A nine year old has been walking your dog for 4 years...? So you allowed a 5 year old to take your dog for a walk on her own?

"a gated community for over 60's" Where do you live that this is a thing?

"We love to share our neighbour's GC" What do you mean as this comes across as creepy, how do you "share" them?!

"I then went to help a neighbour with her husband who has dementia & left DH to deal with 'Eve' ." What was he doing to "deal" with 'Eve'?

"He pointed out that, despite her young years, that 'Eve' is becoming a young woman now". 'Eve' is not becoming a young woman,She is a nine year old CHILD.

And whilst I don't like young girls in adult like clothes and wouldn't alllow my daughter to wear such clothes, I think your involvement is weird and inappropriate. If she is in a gated community of 60's and over, she should be safe to wear what she wants!

Oh, and I'm a victim of childhood serious SA too...

OP is a survivor of child sexual abuse. Do you think this may be impacting her viewpoint at all? You are, indirectly, accusing her of being a paedophile without having the courage to just come out and say it. What a disgusting, appalling thing to accuse somebody of, let alone somebody with OP's history of trauma, without a single shred of evidence.

I think this post says more about you than them. It’s none of your bloody business for a start. And no wonder kids grow up with body hang ups with attitudes like yours. Telling a nine year old to cover up is completely out of order.

I took this to mean that she is already well-developed for her age. There are 2 girls in my DD's class who could pass for the TA - tall with breasts. They are both 10. I personally think the OP is right and some clothes are very inappropriate for a well-developed 9 year old girl. I'm sorry but it does matter what girls and women wear, and you do need to think about predators.

This is what I mean by profiling though. Creeps prey on kids in these kinds of environments and the clothes she wears will be another signal as to how lax certain things are at home.

What on earth is offensive with a child’s belly button?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

My girls often wear leggings with a crop top. As do I (age 41!) I have no idea what is offensive or provocative about a belly button?

I wouldn't have liked to see a young child dressed like that either but l would never have said anything to them because it's not my business.
We have to accept that times have changed from when we were children OP.

Child wearing crop top is not even remotely a child protection issue - I used to volunteer with kids at a youth club before I had my own and I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a kid in a crop top. I would be logging a concern if a nine year old girl told me they were at their Grandparents’ neighbours house alone with a man who made comments about their body and appearance.

Even the clothing was a child protection issue then the correct thing to do is either speak to their adult or if you’re that concerned report it to the appropriate authorities, not shame the child.