9YOD Pubescent GC of neighbour running around with bra top & 'Booty shorts'

I'm saying that implying that OP is a paedophile is disgusting. Which was very clear from my comment, so please don't try and misrepresent what was said.

I'm also a survivor of CSA, and it doesn't make me say those things about children.

So you're saying that me sharing how I feel (as a survivor of CSA) is disgusting?

OP is a survivor of child sexual abuse. Do you think this may be impacting her viewpoint at all?

I have no doubt about that at all. Sadly, some victims of CSA seek reasons beyond their abuser to make sense of their ordeal. It's an attempt to regain control.

The reality is children are sexually abused because paedophiles prey on them. Women are raped because rapists prey on them. It has absolutely nothing to do with what they wear.

It's sad that we haven't got beyond that.
It's doubly sad that MNetters are still making a case for it.

“She came back wearing on over-sized tee shirt which I felt more appropriate for someone of her age.
I then went to help a neighbour with her husband who has dementia & left DH to deal with 'Eve' “

OP’s wording doesn’t really suggest the child wasn’t left alone with the man.
If she was only with him for a minute why would the OP have to leave her with the DH?

The post doesn’t say the only contact they have with the girl is her walking the dog, only that the dog walking is one example. OP states she “shares” the child with her friends.

Sounds like she stopped by the house to take the dog and didn't spend time alone with the man except a minute at the door, but obviously I wasn't there.

I don’t agree with this. Leaving a child alone with a man is significantly higher risk for abuse than a crop top. Particularly a man who was sexually abused as a child.
To be concerned about a 9 year old in a crop top but not concerned leaving them with a random old man, when it appears no one knew that was going to be the plan since OP suggested she had to nip out at the last minute, is utterly wild to me.

They live in a gated over 60s community, is this ran by a company? Wouldn't any rapists and pedos have to declare they were on the sex register? Or the company do their own security checks. Also there is a very powerful art exhibition called What were you wearing? that shows the outfits of babies, children, girls and women that were raped or sexually assaulted to try and disprove the taboo that what you wear matters and to stop blaming the victim. There are many of these art exhibitions around. But here’s a link from the dove centre.

https://dovecenter.org/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit/

OP is a survivor of child sexual abuse. Do you think this may be impacting her viewpoint at all? You are, indirectly, accusing her of being a paedophile without having the courage to just come out and say it. What a disgusting, appalling thing to accuse somebody of, let alone somebody with OP's history of trauma, without a single shred of evidence.

I think that saying a nine year old girl is ‘becoming a young woman’ is a sexualising statement.

You think she meant well when she left a little girl alone with her husband and “left DH to deal with” a child he isn’t related to who he had already stated was turning into a young woman at 9 years old??

And your part in the discussion is claiming total randos should “have a say” in how a child dresses? How utterly bizzare!

I have already addressed the weird comment. Whilst the OP may have been clumsy in her approach, I think she meant well.

Don’t let your children wear them, then. But it’s not your place, or the OP’s, to decide what other people’s children wear. ‘Eve’ is not the OP’s child or grandchild. She should not be telling her, or her grandparents, what Eve should wear. Neither should she be deciding that Eve, a nine-year-old, is now a ‘young woman’ because she’s a bit chubby.

You really don’t need to get so angry. It’s a discussion.

Perfectly OK to have a say over your OWN child’s clothing. Absolutely fucking not OK to be policing the clothing of other people’s children.

I’m with you OP. I am sure I will be flamed, but in my view, children shouldn’t be wearing booty shorts, bikini’s, bra tops or any of those things.

Of course we all wish this was how the world worked, but it just isn't is it?

If it was a young girl could walk down the street with nipple clamps and suspenders without being hassled.

I class parents that let their children wear some of the ridiculously oversexualised outfits the same as those that plonk their child on an ipad all day, or feed them shite. Ineffective and stupid at best, dangerous at worst.

It's a parents job to teach their child how to navigate the world, as it actually is. We can tell them what we wished it were, but they should still be ready to deal with the realities.

And the reality is that creepy men will feel even more empowered than usual to stare and make inappropriate comments at women and children in revealing clothes. No, it doesn't make you more at risk of rape, they bloody do that anyway. But it can make a young girls day a LOT more uncomfortable and scary than it should be.

Additionally some predators also take it as an indicator that the parents aren't as protective or as bothered, so they believe the child might be more vulnerable to them.

You can wear a shirt over a training bra. I disagree that op or her spouse sexualized the child, they are trying to protect her from pedos doing that. They could have talked to the gps instead, but child sexual abuse is obviously horrific and should be prevented at all costs.

I'm not saying that skimpy clothes leads to abuse, but why would anyone make it easier to look at a kid in that way.

You can wear a shirt over a training bra. I disagree that op or her spouse sexualized the child, they are trying to protect her from pedos doing that. They could have talked to the gps instead, but child sexual abuse is obviously horrific and should be prevented at all costs.

I'm not saying that skimpy clothes leads to abuse, but why would anyone make it easier to look at a kid in that way.