9YOD Pubescent GC of neighbour running around with bra top & 'Booty shorts'

Yes, I thought that. One hell of a drip feed.
OP and the DH are both giving off creepy, uncomfortable vibes.

It doesn't matter what other people think of her outfit. Her family must have purchased it. She didn't get it without their knowledge.

Op and Husband have zero right to comment on what she is wearing.

They are very similar to hotpants, but post-spandex era.

No it isn't. Those are items of clothing that have been designed to highlight the secondary sexual attributes of adult women. Which is why you get pop stars and such wearing them.

Those connotations aren't lost because they are being worn by a prepubescent child, that's why pimps will to dress up very young girls to overly sexualize them.

Heavier girls do typically begin to develop a little younger as well, so the whole effect it to highlight that the child is going into puberty. Not to mention that her parents possibly have poor boundaries.

i have to agree. Are the bootie shorts the bum scruncher thingies but shorter?

Honestly, this is the internet, you have no clue who OP is and whether they're lovely or not and tbh I really don't care if they are or aren't. I don't know who is lying online. I can only respond to what's in front of me and based on what OP has written, in my opinion, MASH should at the very least be contacted for advice. There is no such thing as wasting their time, MASH can decide what's for them to deal with, not random people online.

I'm actually flabbergasted. You told a neighbour's child to get changed because you didn't approve of their outfit, and you can't see how that's a massive overstep of boundaries?

Poor kid! It must have been really hurtful for her!

I think she is a young kid dressing for hot weather. Even if it isn't the choice you'd make for your own dc, you had absolutely no right to comment. Would you have been less judgemental if she wasn't overweight? Why does it matter?

Regretfully, if we wear the 'wrong' clothes it's our fault that we get raped, assaulted.

This is a horrific thing to say in all circumstances but particularly when you are discussing a 9 year old CHILD and your husband’s inability to view her as a little girl and insistence on calling her a “young woman”.

The red flag here is you and your DH.

Stop leaving a poor child alone with this man, her parents, her grandparents haven’t consented to this.

“Regretfully, if we wear the 'wrong' clothes it's our fault that we get raped, assaulted“

No it’s not @Idratherreadabookthanks . This kind of thinking is part of the problem, not the solution.

It’s horrible what happened to you and it wasn’t your fault. You probably weren’t wearing booty shorts, but he did it anyway because they don’t care about the clothes. Changing clothing doesn’t do anything to protect a child from a predator, all it does is cause shame and insecurity. Predators love insecure kids. We should not feed that insecurity.n

@Foxesandsquirrels don’t you think it’s curious OP’s ‘update’ with all the gory detail only came about when she and her creepy husband had been called out for being extremely inappropriate about a 9 year old child.
This thread was started not out of concern for the child’s home environment, it was started to get validation for body shaming and sexualising a 9 year old girl.

MASH might be interested in why OP left a child alone with her husband who proceeded to talk about a 9 year old’s body and referred to her as a young woman. OP is very far from a lovely person.

Please read the OPs last update. If you don't think there's risk, that's your opinion which you're allowed to have.

@Foxesandsquirrels there is nothing to suggest this child is at risk. The only risk is to her self esteem being policed and judged by relatives neighbours.

I would let them decide that themselves. You don't know how much OP is omitting for privacy, and it's important OP covers herself too. If your MASH wouldn't be interested in a young child regularly being left on their doorstep unsupervised, than you need to make a complaint about your MASH.
MASH is not just for emergencies. I think people forget the scope of social care.

@Foxesandsquirrels there is nothing to suggest this little girl is in any way at risk. Or is in need of social services or for someone to police her choice of fashion.

What?! MASH etc will not be interested in the slightest!!

@Idratherreadabookthanks you are a lovely person OP and I'm so sorry for what you went though. I completely understand your worries. Please, google your local authority and MASH- this will be the safeguarding team. You can explain the situation to them, and they can investigate. Don't worry about her being taken into care, that would not happen, the threshold for that is huge and she has a safe space to stay, but it sounds like this family needs support from social care- possibly both adult and children's. Social care early help team can signpost mum to charities that help overwhelmed mothers, my sister had a lovely lady coming every week after she had her twins.
This girl could also get a mentor, there's a lot out there. Social care is not all bad and you also need to safeguard yourself. Kids do and say all sorts for attention, never ever allow her to be alone with you or your husband. I completely understand your survivors instincts will be going crazy, but you need to safeguard yourself and your husband.
If there's no intervention now, I'm really worried something will happen to this child, even in a couple of years, she will be incredibly easy to lure with attention.
If you know where she goes to school, you can tell MASH and they will investigate via them, so you can keep your report completely anonymous.

Oh god. I missed that. Wtf

Do you think it was appropriate for OP’s husband to describe a 9 year old girl’s age as ‘becoming a woman’?

@Idratherreadabookthanks YANBU OP. Completely inappropriately, especially for a 9 year old.

I have a bias due to my religion but I've encouraged modest clothing for all my children. Even from a young age.

You are absolutely right that a 9 year old shouldn't dress like that, sadly its all the shops seem to sell, my sister has an 8 year old and she rages about the slutty fashion of today for female kids. But, im afraid its not your place to say.

sounds like you’re sexualise a young child. Very odd behaviour. Maybe you should stop looking at this child for their own protection.

Yes, it’s a huge problem. What we don’t need to do is compromise our own safety further though. I should be able to walk through the park blind drink at 3am, doesn’t mean I would though. The same applies to all sorts of other things, it’s just common sense.

@SummerEve @Fargo79 what about groomers who rather than relying on hoary old tropes about what predators do, present as pillars of the community?
People who gain access through things like social activities - walking dogs, or playing chess for example.

People who, without a relative of the child there, cross lines into personal issues like clothing or bodies or a grown man who, when left a child alone with a 9 year old prepubescent child, talks about her body and refers to her as ‘a young woman’.

A child who is taught to feel shame about her body by people who ‘care’ for her, would be prime targeting for grooming, I would say.