To think someone's sexual predilections reflects on their broader character?

I would suspect any adult engaging in DDlg type activities of paedophilia. Obviously problematic

Roleplaying incest (though definitely not for me, or for most people) is pretty harmless.

Surely even if consensual you feel some kinks are ‘creepy’ @HuffleMyPuffle?

Say a man likes his partner to pretend to be a little girl or baby while he has sex with her, or pretends to be her dad while he has sex with her, and she consents. Do you really not find that creepy?

I feel like because you want to defend the kink community in general, you’re disregarding examples that are very troubling.

Oh thank goodness @FruityCider I can stop raging now.
The sarcasm went right over my head. Apparently I need it to slap me in the face before I notice it!

Just before you continue to quote ... this PP was being sarcastic to make a point

Just like the noises someone makes when you give them oral then 😂

And sometimes things just aren’t that deep with something underlying !
I had a FWB one time & I love role play , game was , car broke down outside his house , so I knock on his door for help, he comes out , invites me in, we start to chat , before you know it we are having a few drinks, but then when I go to leave , he won’t leave me & we played rape …
It was hot & we both really enjoyed..
Everyone has a sexual side to them
Nothing sinister underneath it all , just two regular people who liked to have fun 🤷🏻‍♀️😊

I always think dommes must be incomprehensible to many on MN, especially PIV being held up as the only 'expression of love'

Just like the noises someone makes when you give them oral then 😂

Ah yes boxing where participants are carefully separated into weight categories to increase safety, wear protective gear, have a referee to ensure fairness along with a clearly defined amount of time to engage in the activity.

Oh-so-similar to feederism where one participant gets a sexual thrill from the other constantly gaining weight, becoming increasingly dependent on their 'caregiver', suffering more and more health issues until potentially bedbound and immobile, and in a situation that is very difficult to leave or get out of.

Tbh I find your comparison so disingenuous that it is clear that you are arguing in bad faith. I won't be replying to any further posts.

Because one is an expression of love and a affection and the other is simulated abuse. And clearly it does impact lives - would this thread be so full of women who believed they enjoyed pain and humiliation 40 years ago? It would not, because these preferences are largely conditioned by our environment, by the society we find ourselves in - it might be private acts by consenting adults, but increasingly the statistics show that women are encountering men who automatically assume they want sex to look like abuse. So, this radical individualism in the bedroom doesn't look so individual afterall when there is a measurable ratcheting of expectations when it comes to what "normal" or "pleasureable" sex looks like, the normalisation of disordered sexual expression and the idea that we have no control over our desires. We do. We've just lost, culturally, any sense that some things are bad for us.

They feel shame because narrow minded and judgemental witches like those on this thread tell them they should feel ashamed and that they are abnormal

Of course it does! We are human!

this is why so many feel shame at their odd kinks.

…, OK we’ll leave it that way “People in thrall to [their] kink will defend anything, up to an including murder so as to legitimize it.”

It isn’t that long ago that society could recognize that people who get off on strangling others were extremely dangerous people who should be in prison, and who are not anyone you would want a loved one to encounter. To be blunt -it is not just disgusting, it is callous, it is terrifying, it is warped that there are people who like to strangle.
Your kink has made you blind to danger, it has made you lose your moral compass- that says a lot about your character.

I don't hit people who don't want to be hit. I hit people who want to be hit and have asked me to hit them.
At a very basic level, hitting can release endorphins, which feel nice. When someone feels nice, they make excited faces and noises. Those excited faces and noises are pleasing, and maybe arousing. It's not always that deep.

If it weren't weird, perverted and harmful then there would be no objection to it being in the mainstream.

There is a psychology.

Maybe more people with kinks would be more willing to talk about it if people didn't start talking about 'trangressions' and peados and rapists in the same breath as the question.

I like to hit and (sometimes) be hit. My friends know all about my reasonings/psychology behind it because I talk about it a lot. They're also not assuming that I'm some kind of psycho because of it, and that IRL I'm just a normal person.

There we go, the ol' genital-checking fetish.

You tell on yourselves every time.

Okay, so take a woman who enjoys putting her partners penis in her mouth, likes missionary sex with no extras, and doesn't ever insist on orgasming herself. (I insist every time, I'm just dreaming up a 'standard' sex life - sorry if I got it wrong. Not in to boring sex myself)

What assumptions can we make about this woman and how does it reflect on her character? Could you give me a run down of your sex life and tell me what it says about you?

In some ways I agree. For instance I do not perform oral sex on men because I feel it's degrading. I'm presuming that noone who has this morally superior sex life would ever think of something as disgusting as putting a penis in their mouth. They pee out of those holes! I think women who enjoy that must be insecure and are in many ways perpetuating the patriarchy.

So what you’re essentially saying is that you believe that unless sex is ‘an expression of love’ it’s disgusting and wrong? And that the only form of sex you believe to be ‘an expression of love’ is someone putting their penis into a woman’s vagina?

Why is having someone’s penis in my vagina an expression of love, but not having someone’s tongue in my vagina? What about gay people? Are two lesbians going down on each other not expressing love? What about two men having anal sex? If someone loves being handcuffed to the bed with a butt-plug in their bum and that brings them immense sexual pleasure, why is their partner not expressing love by providing them with that pleasure?

And also, why does it matter whether it’s about love or not? Why can’t it be about mutual pleasure?

This thread is honestly astonishing. And it’s also full of god-awful sexism and internalised misogyny. People are on here telling women they’re disgusting because their sexual interest goes beyond sweet romantic missionary sex and suggesting that it’s only men who truly want to do anything different. These attitudes are Victorian and so far from anything I recognise as feminism. It’s regressive and depressing.

To all the people on here saying that things other people do are disgusting and harmful - I guarantee you that you will definitely have at least one set of close and much-loved friends, siblings, parents or adult kids who are into the things you think are the sign of a warped and dysfunctional psyche and I guarantee you that a lot of your partners are secretly fantasising about things that would give you a heart attack.

I’ve been a victim of domestic violence at the hands of a terrible, abusive misogynist who was very, very vanilla in the bedroom. Frankly, he’d have been the ideal lover for some of the women on this thread because he shared a lot of your notions of what’s ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ and ‘loving’ in the bedroom. He was disgusted when I even said certain words in a sexual context; if I’d asked him to spank me or pull my hair or something he’d have shamed me for it just like the women on this thread are shaming people. But he was a violent, controlling abuser who essentially hated women.

I’ve also had relationships with absolutely lovely, kind, sweet and sensitive men who were brilliant feminist allies who were up for anything in bed and totally open-minded and uninhibited and non-judgemental. My DP of 22 years is one of them.