To think someone's sexual predilections reflects on their broader character?

How would any man or woman know for absolute sure their partner is fully consenting and into any kind of sex?

The thing is - how would a 'dominant' man know for absolute sure that his submissive 'partner' were truly consenting from a position of strength, stability and self-worth?

They can't.

And they don't care. That's part of the thrill. It's the whole fucking point.

They're sadists. They only limit it to the realm of sexuality because they'd be arrested otherwise.

You're the one deciding who is a man based off anonymous posts

Thanks for clarifying (I think, based on your replies?) that you don’t find the idea of a man pretending his sexual partner is a baby while having sex with her / him (or yes, a woman pretending her sexual partner is a baby while having sex with her / him) is creepy as long as she consents.

I am absolutely baffled as to how you can hold that opinion, and find it a troubling one to say the least, but it is obviously your right to do so.

Some kinks cannot be participated in safely.

There is no safe way to strangle someone, for example.

https://ifas.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/There-is-No-Safe-Way-to-Strangle-Position-Statement-September-2024-5.pdf

The whole thing about consent and safe words is that the other person stops whatever they’re doing if they don’t like it or aren’t okay (or just need to pause the scene for whatever reason.) Just like if someone didn’t want to participate in an aspect of a kink and expressed to their partner they don’t want that, and their partner doesn’t do it.

I also think it’s silly to assume people participating in kink don’t actually know what they want or how to do it safely.

I don’t think that’s silly at all. Many people (women) have ended up doing things they aren’t really happy about to make their partner happy. I’m hardly alone in consenting to something and hating it but not really knowing how to back out again. It can take a lot of confidence to advocate for yourself properly (we see it on here constantly and that’s just saying no to dinner plans - not feeling the immense pressure to please a partner).

And I will add that ‘safe words’ are completely irrelevant when it comes to choking. Even signalling can be difficult to make that clear and understood.

Why is the man creepy but not the woman?

Calling someone Daddy isn't asking them to pretend you're literally their dad btw

DD/lg (or DM/lg or DM/lb or DD/lb because it isn't specifically just men wanting women to be babies) relationships often go far beyond just sexual and (since this is the standard we apparently judge by) are often very, very deeply caring relationships of mutual trust, consent and affection

It's not pedophilia and it's disingenuous to make those assumptions about ADULTS doing something

The whole thing about consent and safe words is that the other person stops whatever they’re doing if they don’t like it or aren’t okay (or just need to pause the scene for whatever reason.) Just like if someone didn’t want to participate in an aspect of a kink and expressed to their partner they don’t want that, and their partner doesn’t do it.

I also think it’s silly to assume people participating in kink don’t actually know what they want or how to do it safely.

The whole thing about consent and safe words is that the other person stops whatever they’re doing if they don’t like it or aren’t okay (or just need to pause the scene for whatever reason.) Just like if someone didn’t want to participate in an aspect of a kink and expressed to their partner they don’t want that, and their partner doesn’t do it.

I also think it’s silly to assume people participating in kink don’t actually know what they want or how to do it safely.

Several people on here seem to think that consent is a simple, unproblematic thing. But people consent to things that they don’t really want, or things that are not in their best interests all the time! And sometimes they don’t even know they don’t really want it. They consent because it’s difficult to say no, because it seems normal as everyone around them appears to be doing it (or social media gives that impression) or because they want to be a ‘cool girl’.

We all consent to things every day that we aren’t really fully on board with. Tasks at work, wife-work, things to keep our family and friends on board and to maintain a quiet life. Women used to routinely consent to ‘obey’ their husbands on marriage. Someone consenting to something is not the ultimate sign that it’s fine. The ultimate decider should be whether something is right or wrong. Choking someone or hitting them is wrong. That’s it really. I am not at all persuaded that having lots of consenting rules around violence in a relationship makes it ok. Insisting that you talk about it, you have safe words etc etc is like a perfume spray to cover a bad smell. The smell is still there.

And to answer the OP. Yes, of course what you do in the bedroom reflects your broader character. We are what we do. Whether that is at a work meeting, a family meal, at the pub or in the bedroom. That principle is what is meant by integrity. Being a whole person whose character and personality is congruent with their actions. We should all strive to have integrity. It’s the secret and key to good mental health and happiness.

Several people on here seem to think that consent is a simple, unproblematic thing. But people consent to things that they don’t really want, or things that are not in their best interests all the time! And sometimes they don’t even know they don’t really want it. They consent because it’s difficult to say no, because it seems normal as everyone around them appears to be doing it (or social media gives that impression) or because they want to be a ‘cool girl’.

We all consent to things every day that we aren’t really fully on board with. Tasks at work, wife-work, things to keep our family and friends on board and to maintain a quiet life. Women used to routinely consent to ‘obey’ their husbands on marriage. Someone consenting to something is not the ultimate sign that it’s fine. The ultimate decider should be whether something is right or wrong. Choking someone or hitting them is wrong. That’s it really. I am not at all persuaded that having lots of consenting rules around violence in a relationship makes it ok. Insisting that you talk about it, you have safe words etc etc is like a perfume spray to cover a bad smell. The smell is still there.

And to answer the OP. Yes, of course what you do in the bedroom reflects your broader character. We are what we do. Whether that is at a work meeting, a family meal, at the pub or in the bedroom. That principle is what is meant by integrity. Being a whole person whose character and personality is congruent with their actions. We should all strive to have integrity. It’s the secret and key to good mental health and happiness.

DD/lg (or DM/lg or DM/lb or DD/lb because it isn't specifically just men wanting women to be babies) relationships often go far beyond just sexual and (since this is the standard we apparently judge by) are often very, very deeply caring relationships of mutual trust, consent and affection

It's not pedophilia and it's disingenuous to make those assumptions about ADULTS doing something

As I say, in thrall to [your] kink.

Sorry to be clear I meant pretending to be the dad of the little girl / baby character in that scenario. I can’t get my head around anyone saying that isn’t creepy but @HuffleMyPuffleseems to think that as long as it is consensual it can’t be described as creepy.

Surely even if consensual you feel some kinks are ‘creepy’ @HuffleMyPuffle?

Say a man likes his partner to pretend to be a little girl or baby while he has sex with her, or pretends to be her dad while he has sex with her, and she consents. Do you really not find that creepy?

I feel like because you want to defend the kink community in general, you’re disregarding examples that are very troubling.

Have I "defended anything"?

Because I'm pretty sure I, and others, have stated time and time again that consent is key and that anyone using kink as a front for abuse etc is not "someone with a kink" but an abuser

There are plenty of completely legitimate hobbies which can accidentally result in someone's death if not practiced safely or if an accident occurs. You don't go around calling all of them morally corrupt...

Death by strangulation during sex is called "death by misadventure" and has been so for a while.

You really cannot tell if someone is a "dangerous person" just because they like some extreme kinks. It's called prejudice

Not in my view.

I have only been involved sexually with one person who had a kink that he preferred above all else, including straight sex. I was open minded about it. But actually it was really boring. He seemed to me like a train journey that had to run only on tracks, the route was always the same. And his character is exactly like this, he’s passing NT but actually he’s a hamster on a wheel living a repetition compulsion. His sexuality was a reflection 100% of who he was as a person.