To think someone's sexual predilections reflects on their broader character?

Why do you "talk about it a lot" ? to your friends? I think that's what a few pps were talking about getting off on talking about your kinks

Oh thank goodness @FruityCider I can stop raging now.
The sarcasm went right over my head. Apparently I need it to slap me in the face before I notice it!

I'm sorry that the dripping sarcasm of my post wasn't obvious. I absolutely agree with what you said. I don't really or actually judge/think ill women who do it, or I'd think ill of nearly everyone - it's very common!

Glad that you agree that it's nobodies business but the person who's doing it. I like hitting and being hit, I like being called names and calling other people names. Plus a lot of other things that would make people on here squirm. It's not inherently degrading. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person, or that any of the lovely men I've met who like to hit me are bad people.

Again, I was being very sarcastic to make a point and think I've made it.

Yes , you are right ..
I should have thought of that before I posted ..
Sadly , that occurs too ..
When things are taken too far ..
I just meant normally , that’s all …

You do know PP , you are going way off topic here ..
Who is saying against someone’s will !
You stated that men who like to strangle women are not nice men , but the whole topic is what people are into in the bedroom consensually .. Op thinking it’s a reflection of a person’s personality what they are into sexually..
Clearly, you joined the chat later than everyone else ..

Even with this opinion, I think you have to acknowledge that choking has gone wrong many times, and women have been strangled whilst having sex. Your laughing emojis are in poor taste.

Unfortunately, I don't think women being choked against their will or to death is as rare as we might hope. Certainly, not rare enough for it to be something so funny it makes you cry laughing. That's probably something you should address with someone!

Sense of humour also tells us a lot about people.

If that's what OP means, it's a laughable take.

You’re entitled to your own boundaries and preferences, but calling women who enjoy oral sex “insecure” or accusing them of “perpetuating the patriarchy” is insulting, reductive, and frankly, misogynistic. Sexual acts aren’t inherently degrading—it’s the attitude behind them that matters. What’s degrading is the idea that women can't make empowered choices about their own sexuality without being pathologized.
Just because something isn't for you doesn’t mean it’s wrong or shameful for others. If you really care about dismantling the patriarchy, try starting by not judging other women for what they choose to do with their own bodies.

I’m saying in general , play sex , choking & all that with every day couples . Doesn’t mean the guy is not a nice guy !
You’re talking extreme & rare cases ..

Given that women have died when the line between choking and strangling has been crossed, it's a strange thing to be crying laughing about.

😂 😂 Strangling, I’m sure you’ll find it’s more choking , & not aggressively, & the woman has asked for him to do it ..
Can’t see many just lying there to be strangled some how 😂 😂

Of course they do - men who are aroused by strangling women are not nice men for example

I think that a lot of who we are, what we are ‘naturally’ into or drawn to is very much moulded by pornographic content, which seeps into all parts of society and media (including family films). I find it scary that many women (myself included) are (secretly or otherwise) turned on by things that can hurt or damage them, that soft, slow and loving sex feels ‘boring’ because we have seen and been exposed to/ experienced more ‘hard core’ sex. I think that the brain is malleable and the concept of pleasure and pain changes. So it might become ‘natural’ or something you can’t help/ have always felt, but that doesn’t mean you would have always had said ‘kink’ if your situation/ life/ society had been different. I don’t think anyone should take offence by people questioning sex, ethics etc. even if it is with consenting adults. Ethics is more than consent (eg it could be morally acceptable but unethical). Because as a society we are producing (and rewarding) more and more Bonnie Blues and I just don’t think that’s a ‘good’ thing (personally).

This could be an interesting conversation topic but I fear the OP started this with an agenda (probably religious, that there is a “right” way to do sex and everything else is immoral)

i dont think we’ll get the open and interesting conversation we could have had…

I actually posted before I saw the OP bring the Lostprophets guy into it. Good lord.

Anti-sex feminism is so tiresome. Also enraging when a false link is drawn between consensual non-vanilla sexual predilections and non-consensual sexual assault.

Yes OP, the only acceptable sex drive is vanilla and preferably for procreation purposes only. Famously no women ever have any other sort of sexual desire.

FWIW I have met many more men who wanted to be dominated than to degrade women, and know of many more women (including myself) who want to be in the dominant role. There's an inherent power dynamic to sex; some people are turned on by leaning into it, some by subverting it. It doesn't reflect on their broader character - though your judgy and reductive take certainly reflects on yours.

Watching porn is also a different thing

And not all porn is made for men

And sometimes things just aren’t that deep with something underlying !
I had a FWB one time & I love role play , game was , car broke down outside his house , so I knock on his door for help, he comes out , invites me in, we start to chat , before you know it we are having a few drinks, but then when I go to leave , he won’t leave me & we played rape …
It was hot & we both really enjoyed..
Everyone has a sexual side to them
Nothing sinister underneath it all , just two regular people who liked to have fun 🤷🏻‍♀️😊

OP, are you writing a thesis and looking for contributions?

I don't believe this is true- if you could accurately predict personality traits from sexual interests e.g. so and so enjoys being degraded so their personality must be xyz; then the opposite would also be true e.g. so and so has personality xyz so there's a reasonable chance they enjoy being sexually degraded.

I've seen no evidence that supports this and I don't think I could predict this for friends, colleagues etc. Then again, I don't have a prurient interest in other people's sex lives.

I also don't like the heavy dose of victim blaming inherent in this belief, or it's implications for safeguarding- so if a women complains her bf chokes her, the answer is she shouldn't have dated a dickhead, as his intentions would have been clear from his personality? And of course that guy can take the kids on a day out with no checks, he's got such a charming personality, definitely not a wrong 'un.