Is this what you call performance parenting?

You are a 'talk a lot' parent, which is brilliant for a child. I don't see any problem with what you are asking or teaching her. Just ignore the ignorance and carry on with what you are doing 😊

Or were involved in their own conversation and eye rolling that had nothing to do with the poster?

First one was talking to your child about the chess set. Second was over the top.

I noticed a difference style of parenting today in my local bookshop. Man with 2 girls about 2,5 or 3 and 5, Small one pulled a pile of books off the table, he admonished, said it was not ok etc and picked them up, then wandered off (out of sight, big shop) telling the older one to look after her sister. It’s kind of deliberate laziness in a kind of entitled show off way I think. Next minute, a man pushing an infant in a pram with one hand came wandering in holding a glass of white wine the other (there is a restaurant next door). “trying to get her to sleep’ he said as he bumped into book table steering one handed and set baby off.

Big sigh

That's how I look at it too.

Things that trigger other people are often based on internal insecurities. Perhaps they were feeling like they are not capable / don’t have conversations on the same level with their own kids.

Regardless of whether you were doing it to be performative, you can parent your children however you want and it’s nobody else’s business.

I don't get it. You sound like a caring mother engaging with their child. I would talk similarly to mine. You're just being a parent.
Maybe you're loud but also who cares! Just be you and enjoy your child.

This is the moment I realised I’m a performance parent 😬 also, what is a performance parent? 🤔

Quit fretting.

If DD remains attentive, then she's engage and enjoying.
If DD blanks out, then wind it in a little bit.

Ignore other people being muppets.

I grew up with two parents who were teachers. Everything was an opportunity for learning, and I am grateful for it (in hindsight at least).

Much worse would be.
Q1. It's a boring game
Q2. Australia, or "dunno"

You want DD to be inquisitive about the world, and to get used to getting answers to her questions.

Hold your head up, stick with it, and ignore people who's opinion you did not seek,

OP- I talk to my children a lot of the time like the scenarios you are describing.

Its because I spent a decade as an Early Years teacher. Our curriculum was so talk-based, linking ideas and memories, comparing experiences. Learning is everywhere, all around us. So I naturally talk like that with my own children, I can’t help it! 😂

I’m sure your children enjoy your conversations and interest in their observations a great deal 😊

My son who is now nearly 50, was very 'spirited' as a child under 7, and I found the only way to keep him out of trouble and under control, when we were out and about, was to keep him interested, and answer his endless questions as best I could! This often resulted in conversations like OP's and rolling eyes from passers by. Shoppingwith him from about 18 months entailed counting oranges or tomatoes as he put them in the trolley from his child seat, choosing the beans we wanted from the shelf etc. It did seem a bit of a performance, but it worked. You just have to become impervious to the looks and opinions of strangers.

The second part smacks of showing off and you’ve clearly said it a volume that others can hear.

Did you teach her that so she can bully and insult people polylinguistically?

You're fine. Maybe it's the volume you said it at? Were you broadcasting to all and sundry? That would come over as performance parenting.

Get on with your day and ignore everyone else.

We’re talking about people who sneer at other parents engaging with their children and stretching their knowledge and vocabulary.
Who gives a fuck what they think?

Why are you looking about at these people whilst you talk to your child? I mean how did you even notice the women roll their eyes if you were speaking to your child?
If you're saying all of these things to your child whilst looking around at strangers then I can see how it might look like you're performance parenting.

There’s a middle ground though surely. I wasn’t glued to my phone when out and about with my crew when they were small. Equally I wasn’t putting on a Royal Institution Christmas Lecture. We’ve been around some really loud parents bellowing facts at their children.

You sound like a great mum who is taking the time to engage and teach your child. Just enjoy, parent how you want and ignore what’s happening around you as people can snigger and comment as much as they like as long as you and daughter having a great time who cares!

As if this actually happened.

Neither of you are correct, aim of chess is to check mate your opponent. Anything else is of secondary importance.

Again - wow!! It’s amazing how many people have a problem with you having nice interesting conversations with your child. For the record, if I overheard this I’d be thinking “awww that’s sweet” and then start missing my kids - not “oh how dare someone put on a performance for my benefit”. And don’t worry about others who think you are performance parenting - they apparently don’t have a clue how little time a parent who cares about engaging with their child has to worry about anyone else but their child. I know when I spend 10-15 minutes having those sorts of conversations to support my toddler he’s happy and I’m tired as it’s hard work - I’d love to just ignore him and read my phone like I used to do before I had kids but I don’t because I can clearly see it makes him happier to have me engaging with him in this sort of slightly over the top way.

Tbh I have a friend who does very similar things to your Australia conversation with her child and I do find it cringe. Just feels over the top.

I’d far rather a “performance” parent, then one that ignores their kids- either because they are too busy on their phone or talking to another parent (and it’s usually those type of parents that make fun of “performance” parenting - I suspect because it makes them feel guilty).

Mainly because half the time I seem to end up with those “busy” parents child/ren joining in with mine and trying to interact with me instead (because they want that adult attention). I don’t want to supervise extra kids, whereas so called “performance” parenting is really easy to ignore and doesn’t affect me at all - so you do things your way OP (and I’m grateful for it).

Well, at least your child learned something useful. Little Henry's cunty dad taught him it's OK to rip the piss out of strangers for no reason.

You seem to be overly aware of how others are reacting to your conversation with your child, which makes me think it was all for their benefit in the first place. Unfortunately it looks you aren’t subtle enough and they’ve clocked it.

I do think these things aren't really conversations are they. The chess one is more of a chat because she asked the question, but the Australia one isn't how you talk to people, you'd not say to anyone else "tell me all the facts you know about australia" - if you genuinely talk to your child, you might say you'd like to visit Australia, or ask them about favourite animals. It does sound performative to be "nice and loud for the women at the back now, tell me all your geography knowledge because I've raised a smart child"
My son is nd and knows bazillion facts, I never ask him to tell me them because I want him to learn normal conversation skills. So I ask him more general stuff related to what we are doing, some facts might come up- like at the museum I might ask why he likes a certain statue or which mummy looks creepiest, and he might say "i love this statue because its of zeus, hes my favourite greek god, and i really like how he's king of the gods" I don't say "tell me which Egyptian queen married her father" or "explain to me what the book of the dead is for". I'm not sure why getting children to recite facts is such a thing and I can see why people think it's performative parenting. Other kids won't want to hear all her Australia facts when she chats with them