Loud Child in Church

I'm not saying it's wrong that Abby stays in the service, and we all help as much as we can, but we also can't tell Abby off or request that she's quiet in the same way a parent can, and whilst it is advertised as a child friendly service, we (I also have 2 young children) are all being encouraged to send our children to the appropriate groups so we don't disturb everyone.

It's not really child friendly if you mean "ship the children off elsewhere"

And you can tell her off. It's a community. You all know her My mother is well known to be the one the kids will look at if they're being naughty to see if she's about to tell them off for it. They will also joke with her and often draw her pictures and things too. Its a respect thing.

My thoughts as well... She can't be that much of a cling-on if she's happy to be bounced between a number of different women each week.

2 is still very, very little OP. At worst, this is a temporary problem.

When I was coming to church, usually quite late, with (just 1) small child, this was one of the few things that kept me able to do it:

Dear parents with young children in church – Deseret News

If you would like live music in 10 years' time, there are a few school concerts and recorder recitals that are worth enduring. If you would like pews to have people in them in 10 years time, then seeing more of a whole picture of a child (as much as any other person who comes through the doors, and who keeps coming) and how they are learning what church is like, and what behaviours might change within it, and what small moments of progress are happening, is worth wondering about. She won't be 2 forever, and one day, I think she will be much more curious about the step to children's church.

You absolutely can tell her to be quiet if you are looking after her! If Ben doesn't like it, he can look after her himself. You can suggest that a toy box and snacks be provided for entertainment perhaps, or that Ben escorts her to kids church for a few weeks until she settles in. Ideally someone with some authority would have a word, and work out a solution, but if nobody has noticed you need to bring it to their attention.

Its not for you to speak for the other females and ask that Ben not palm Abby off to them. They need to speak up for themselves, as should you if you are put in that position.
Nothing wrong with you suggesting he take her out if she’s being overly disruptive. You will probably only have to do this once for him to get the message. Also nothing wrong with suggesting he bring some quiet toys and snacks.
I do have sympathy for the man, it sounds like he is struggling and I can understand the temptation to let others take over if they appear willing.

Sorry - didn’t address the op. Yes I think better to encourage Jane to drop the rope and let him take care of his own 2 year old. I would also be inclined to do a smiley gentle ‘shhh’ every time she’s too loud. I think you’ve earned enough time around her to do that occasionally.

This is what I never understand about ‘child friendly’ services where the children are so disruptive that the ‘service’ bit is redundant. I don’t know why parents can’t see that there is a fine line between the congregation tolerating a bit of child noise and toddling around, and disrupting the whole thing. As a regular church goer it does piss me off. I sat through one service recently where one grandma was encouraging a small child to loudly shout and squeal even though we were praying. Why? Why bother coming?

Ben probably needs that hour of relection and prayer to get him through the week. I imagine it's where he feels close to his DWife and gives him faith the future will be ok.

I agree it depends on the ‘disruption’. It’s great to have kids at a service. Our church has a corner for children to play in and no one cares when there noise…until something significantly disruptive happens. We had one lad who crawled under the pews and kept shoving people out the way and kept shouting so loudly we couldn’t hear the vicar over the microphone. There comes a point where it’s no cute.

It’s really none of your business how a parent chooses to raise their children, I was raised catholic and thankful as it’s made me and my children accepting and tolerant of others, you should try it

The sudden influx of the bitter type of atheist - the mention of church is like a dog whistle. Your personal beliefs or lack of them have nothing to do with what OP is asking and you're derailing the thread.

You do of course realise you are' forcing' your lack of belief on your children by not taking them to church. What is the difference? My kids went to church every week from the week they were born. None of them attend regularly now but it certainly did them no harm. They had a sense of community. They got to sing a lot. They mixed with people of all ages and had a whole raft of different generations of people caring for them.

What did the pastor/vicar say when you asked them to speak to this parent about the sermon being constantly interrupted and distracted by this child every week and other people not being able to enjoy it?

Do you have the same concerns about parents passing on their culture, language, exercise and eating habits, or adherence to the law or morals?

Well its like anything you see it as the norm
I went ti church every Sunday as a child as did most of my school friends my Brownie ,and guides group were all attached to the church I went to I had a great childhood
I'm a very lapsed Catholic as an adult but I have very fond memories of the community .

Trust me it won't indoctrinate, them I was brought Up RC went to a very holy convent primary school had nuns as teachers ,went to church e very Sunday
I'm agnostic at best now
I dint know anyone I went to.school with who still practices, so they didn't do a very good job of indoctrination
That said people are allowed to have religious beliefs if they wish and bring their children up as they see fit.

It is STILL none of your business.
You claim not to be a busybody, but that’s exactly what you are being. Keep your beak out of other people’s business.

I'm more concerned that people are forcing religion down kid's necks by taking them to a church. Wait till they are old enough to make their own decisions before trying to indoctrinate them. Any disturbance they cause it's a good disturbance.

They're not worshipping at that age. Most of them already believe in fairies and goblins and father Christmas so what's another fairy tale? And they get to socialise while their parents daydream quietly in the pews.

Sorry missed that Ben was a widower with four kids. In which case, every ‘Christian’ in that congregation should be supporting not judging. Ideally he wouldn’t bring kids who are too young to make up their minds about religion to church but given him circumstances you should all wrap your arms around him, otherwise literally what is the point of your ‘church’?

i think kids in church is unreasonable full stop as they can’t consent to act of worship etc, religion is an adult choice and adults shouldn’t try and confer it on kids.?

a baby crèche where under 2s can be left.

And how many of those under 2s have lost their mother? You are still framing this as a problem rather than an opportunity to show love and support for someone in a hard situation. I think you need to pray about your own attitude rather than worry about someone else’s.

Poor kid. She's probably miserable and bored being forced to go to church every Sunday. Ben should grow up and take his children somewhere nice on a Sunday until they're old enough to decide whether they want to attend church.

You sound like the awful woman that complained to the priest about babies crying at my local parish church. There are more god awful people like you? Excuse the pun!