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AIBU?

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Original poster

on the tube recently people were giving up seats for a mother and a grandfather who in turn let the children sit

233 replies

EleanorReally · 31/05/2025 08:26

surely the kids could have stood, or sat on their laps

i think this is a common scenario now but didnt used to be

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 31/05/2025 09:08

I’ll give up my seat for a child, why would that be a problem? Tubes can jerk stop quite a bit and I can hold on to a rail or overhead strap better than they can. Obviously if they’re fifteen or something I won’t but young kids, yes.

sashagabadon · 31/05/2025 09:06

People also just need to ask though. My elderly parents get n tube a lot and people will offer but my mum also asks and people will stand up. My dad not do much and will decline a seat when offered.
just ask! “ would anyone mind giving me their seat?”. I guarantee at least 4 people or more will move

ButterButterBattle · 31/05/2025 09:02

I mean, if I was on a packed train and had a seat, and the conductor announced "an elderly person is standing, would anyone able bodied give up their seat for her (or him)" I would definitely offer, even if I hadn't been aware previously. I just don't understand why they claim they couldn't do that.

CharlotteRumpling · 31/05/2025 09:00

ButterButterBattle · 31/05/2025 08:53

I was fuming when my 84 year old mum had to stand on the train for 3 hours and not one person offered her a seat. I complained to the train company and said could the guard not have requested for someone to volunteer to move. The reply was that the guards are not allowed to presume that someone doesn't need their seat. Which wasn't what I asked. I didn't mean that the guard should tap a particular young man on the shoulder and say "up you get, this lady needs a seat", but he could have announced to the whole carriage "this lady needs a seat can anyone volunteer to stand".

I am still bloody angry about it.

I see this on the Tube all the time. Young people sitting while kids and elderly stand.
In the past I used to ask people to give up seats ( while I am standing myself) but now everybody is so aggressive.

Original poster
EleanorReally · 31/05/2025 08:55

ShesTheAlbatross · 31/05/2025 08:51

I would never expect a child to stand up for me (an able bodied adult). Whenever I hear people expecting that I always think it sounds like they’re dressing their own entitlement up as teaching children respect.

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but i don think this happens any more

OP posts:
Original poster
EleanorReally · 31/05/2025 08:54

that is shocking @ButterButterBattle

OP posts:
ButterButterBattle · 31/05/2025 08:53

I was fuming when my 84 year old mum had to stand on the train for 3 hours and not one person offered her a seat. I complained to the train company and said could the guard not have requested for someone to volunteer to move. The reply was that the guards are not allowed to presume that someone doesn't need their seat. Which wasn't what I asked. I didn't mean that the guard should tap a particular young man on the shoulder and say "up you get, this lady needs a seat", but he could have announced to the whole carriage "this lady needs a seat can anyone volunteer to stand".

I am still bloody angry about it.

ShesTheAlbatross · 31/05/2025 08:51

EleanorReally · 31/05/2025 08:34

in the past kids would have been advised to give up their seats for adults

I would never expect a child to stand up for me (an able bodied adult). Whenever I hear people expecting that I always think it sounds like they’re dressing their own entitlement up as teaching children respect.

churrios · 31/05/2025 08:50

Yes, my kids are older and I told them to stand and offer their seats a few days ago in a crowded area.

lifemakeover · 31/05/2025 08:48

I do think it's a change of attitude TBH, but also probably not a bad one in terms of younger kids. As PP have said, it's safer for little kids to sit (although I would argue little kids can sit on laps too). I wouldn't, and don't, let DS13 take a seat on the tube if it's busy - much to his annoyance. He's fine to stand and there will be others who need it more than him.

sashagabadon · 31/05/2025 08:48

not point of thread but tube seats are absolutely disgusting these days, particularly central line. Not sitting is the wiser option!

churrios · 31/05/2025 08:48

When I was a kid I would’ve been told to stand to let an adult sit. Now I do see adults allow their kids to sit first. Maybe we are just nicer to kids now. Maybe I’m old enough to see the switch though I noticed it a while ago. I know what you mean OP.

Coffeeishot · 31/05/2025 08:46

If you are noticing a change in attitude maybe people just know its easier if kids sit on a seat.

I used to get my kids to offer seats but not until they were older.

Annielou67 · 31/05/2025 08:46

Isn’t this originally a more European thing?

ChocolateGanache · 31/05/2025 08:42

🙄🙄🙄

Sofiewoo · 31/05/2025 08:42

EleanorReally · 31/05/2025 08:38

i am not moaning, i am interested in the change in attitudes

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It’s not a change of attitude.

Original poster
EleanorReally · 31/05/2025 08:38

Sofiewoo · 31/05/2025 08:36

Well you’ve literally come onto the internet moaning “surely the kids could have stood”. Okay surely the mother could have stood too? It’s not really anything to do with you.

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i am not moaning, i am interested in the change in attitudes

OP posts:
AlorsTimeForWine · 31/05/2025 08:38

If they are your kids fair enough.

Little legs traipsing round London can be very tiring... also much safer for small children to sit.
I grew up in London and the momentum on the train is very intense / different when you are 4 foot something and 5 stone vs an adult

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/05/2025 08:37

I’ve given up my seat for small kids before if they looked wobbly, though usually only if I’m near my stop & not carrying too much.

If I see a pregnant woman, older person or another adult who looks like they need a seat for whatever reason I’ll get up immediately, whatever.

Rtato · 31/05/2025 08:36

It’s definitely not a new thing, been happening all my life on the tube!

Why would a healthy adult need a seat? I wouldn’t need a seat, but it’s so much easier if my child has one, so I’d let my child sit down if I was offered a seat.

A grandfather could be anywhere between 40-100, so depending on their mobility, they might offer up a seat to a grandchild as they’d find it easier to contain them.

Coffeeishot · 31/05/2025 08:36

EleanorReally · 31/05/2025 08:34

in the past kids would have been advised to give up their seats for adults

The adults they were with gave the seats to them though.

Sofiewoo · 31/05/2025 08:36

EleanorReally · 31/05/2025 08:33

why do you say i am worked up? Grin

it is just i have noticed it and i think it is a NEW thing and wondered if it was

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Well you’ve literally come onto the internet moaning “surely the kids could have stood”. Okay surely the mother could have stood too? It’s not really anything to do with you.

Alltheoldpaintings · 31/05/2025 08:35

Much safer for little kids to sit. Personally I’d rather stand than have my kids on my lap squashing me.

Coffeeishot · 31/05/2025 08:35

I mean if it's a bus train or bus where people are standing it's best kids are sitting out of the way they might get flustered when people are pushing past to get off, adults are usually able to negotiate this.

Original poster
EleanorReally · 31/05/2025 08:34

in the past kids would have been advised to give up their seats for adults

OP posts: