on the tube recently people were giving up seats for a mother and a grandfather who in turn let the children sit

It IS a new thing. When I was a child in the 70s and 80s, adults sat. Children stood unless they were very little or had a physical reason for not standing.

Ds is 15 and can’t stand on public transport safely. I would always let him sit before me (he is generally in his wheelchair anyway thankfully)

if I am with younger children I would always let them sit first (two to a seat if possible!) because they are safer sat.

This is rather like Aeasop's fable about the old man, the young boy and the donkey.

You can't please everyone all the time!

Maybe the adults in this case found it safer and more comfortable to stand and hold on rather than have a child on their lap. They're not taking up any more seats than if the children were on their laps.

Depends how old...a small child needs to sit as they get tired and are also more likely to lose balance and fall/whack into something when the train moves.

e: the fact that you said sit on laps points to a small child. YABU.

Surely this depends on age? I'd expect a 5yo to sit but a 10/12 year old should be stable enough, and at that point should feel some kind of pride in being able to offer their seat to someone.

I find it a bit weird to see 12yos on PT slouching in the chair playing games on their phone...

I would only give up a seat for someone who is disabled (regardless of age), injured, pregnant or elderly. Never for an able bodied child.

I give up my seat for kids, I thought that was the right thing to do??!!
When the trains stop suddenly, the kids cant reach the high up handles to steady themselves.

I agree OP. The parent used to be sat down and their small child would either be on their lap or in-between their legs to prevent falling. It was considered very rude and bad mannered to have an adult standing while a child sat down.

My brother and I used to share a seat if it would crowded so that an extra person could sit.

That seems sensible - if children are too small to stand reliably, they’re small enough to fit two to a seat.

I agree with seating very little ones but children from 6 ish upwards - and especially teenagers - are usually better able to stand than most adults, so to that extent I agree. I think if it’s very crowded you’d seat a slightly older child because they can still get jostled. My teen would definitely give up her seat and not sit when others were standing though - younger one hates the tube anyway due to ADHD so we don’t go on it a lot.

Children (and short adults) have less access to supports for standing, especially if it's too crowded to move freely to a post or low-level bar. Young children are better off seated, and it's up to parents if that's giving up their seat or sharing. I remember being an hour+ on a packed train with my 3yo on one knee and 5yo on the other knee for at least half an hour until the carriage thinned, but it was the most space efficient way for us to arrange ourselves. For a long time, the 3 of us could bunch into a 2-person space if arm rests were not a problem.

I have shuffled up to make a child-sized gap to sit where an adult would struggle to help strangers.

It's better for my teenager to sit where possible because of his hidden issues of dyspraxia and hypermobility making him more susceptible to falling and injury than average. He doesn't ask for seats if they're not freely avaliable.

It is not really safe for children to stand on a bus or tube, they can't anticipate the movement in the same way adults can.

Parents and grandparents have a responsibility to keep them safe, if you think about car safety laws and seat requirements for children, it seems ridiculous that adults would still expect children to stand on a fast and unpredictable bus or tube.

Older kids age 10 plus maybe but not little silly kids who will fall over or run away or play with chewing gum stuck to the floor (toddler mum here - I just keep him in his buggy in the tube tho)

@churrios I guess it depends on the ages of the kids, I'd tell my tall 9 year old to stand for an older person/pregnant lady but not my still a bit wobbly on the bus 5 year old. (I would pull him on my lap if I was sitting though)

in the past kids would have been advised to give up their seats for adults

when was this?

it is just i have noticed it and i think it is a NEW thing and wondered if it was

My parents always put me on the seat when I was young, it was a big deal when I could reach those grey things hanging out if the ceiling!

Yes I think it’s a change. When I was young children were expected to give up their seats if someone needed it. I noticed when living in another European country that people would give up their seats for small children. I think it makes perfect sense and I now do it myself.

it's harder for dc to reach things to hold onto or keep them confined, not getting bashed by others moving about.

Small children unused to the Tube can go flying and knock other people over. I've seen happen. Under 6s should sit in my view.
Older people can decide for themselves, they know if they are stable or not.

Back in the days of children should be seen and not heard, lots of things were different.
I think if the adults find it easier to manage the situation if the children sit then go for it.
If they are doing it because the children are little lords then they're making their own life harder

I grew up at the end of a tube line and from an early age was encouraged by my parents to stand up and give my seat to any adult who might want it. I've always stood up for the elderly or pregnant women or anyone who seems infirm or in need, but I'd be really pissed off if I stood up to give a weary-looking pregnant woman or a grandparent a seat and they put their child in it. Going to London the week after next and I will remember not to stand up for anyone with a child. I'm the one who needs to sit down these days.

I don't think a 5/6 year old can stand safely on a moving train/bus.

And that would be because?

If a child has to give up their seat for someone is that because no adult has bothered to offer?

On things like trains that are fairly stable, yea, kids stand. Buses, maybe, there are more hand holds at least. A child 5/6 and up can probably stand safely. Tube is quite different, far fewer/higher hand holds etc. I'd encourage a child up to around 7 or 8 to sit unless fairly tall and sturdy, or the carriage was quiet.