on the tube recently people were giving up seats for a mother and a grandfather who in turn let the children sit

I think it appears to be the older people thinking that just BECAUSE they're older than kids should give them their seat who are acting like "entitled monsters" if someone got on a train who obviously needed a seat id have offered mine if I had one. I would NOT expect a small child to risk their safety (because it IS a risk when they can't reach to hold on, and people don't see them so they get squashed or a rucksack to the face!) when there are seats taken up by able-bodied adults who could offer theirs.
And if you don't actually need it, you just want it for "respect" th n you can do one!

We are creating entitled, over-protected little monsters. Or - it's too late, and we've already created them!

Yes it’s weird. I was on the tube yesterday and a couple had their son next to them taking a seat. He was about 5 or 6. I was standing, an older woman. I thought them very rude not to offer me the seat and put the kid on her lap. Or her husband to have kid on his lap. Selfish. There were also three kids of about 18 happily lolling in their seats while I stood on the hot crowded train. Honestly, I pity them. Being callously unaware of others isn’t a feel good way to live.

My view is that children should stand. Those too young to stand sit on the parent's knee. I taught my children to stand to allow adults to sit if there weren't enough seats on the tube. They actually liked this - it made them feel grown up and they liked being thanked by appreciative adults.

Children are often more able and more happy to stand than adults (being fidgety little devils). They are not usually encumbered with luggage etc.

I was once on a tube with an elderly friend (84 at the time - but is youthful looking and might be taken for late 60s). We were strap-hanging for ages, and a family of about 5 children with parents and a pushchair got on the train. It was rammed, but when 2 seats became available right behind me and my friend, we sat down, only to hear a barrage of disapproving tutting from the father of the family who said 'Well, that's nice - taking seats from little children!'

We hadn't taken the seats from his blessed children - we'd just lowered ourselves into seats behind us in a very crowded tube. His kids could a) stand, b) sit on his and his partner's knees or c) remain in the pushchair. Stupid man.

They may well have, but I don't think this is right. I would much prefer my children seated than myself for safety reasons.

I think people get a bit confused because they remember standing as "a child", but don't realise they were 9, 10 or whenever the memory was from. A child, but not little. I'm a born Londoner and it has never ever been a thing to have 2, 3 and 4 year olds get up for healthy young adults on the tube, quite the opposite. There isn't any advantage for the child nor for any adults near them to have children slamming into people like heavy skittles. The signs for priority seating have included small child juggling as an option since they came out in 2008; that doesn't mean the adult MUST have the child put on their knee because it might not be suitable, it means offer the seat to that adult!

Frail elderly and disabled should sit first, then pregnant women, then offer to people with young kids, then priority is just whoever got the seat first. The age to stand is best judged by adults looking after the kids who understand their needs; 5-10 yo could go either way depending how bumpy the journey is, their experience travelling and any physical issues the child has.

It’s not a new thing. I stood to let my small child sit down over 40 years ago because he was safer sitting down.

Have you not? I’ve done it myself as a drunk student 🤣

If there is room to run about, seats are likely freely available. We are talking about during rush hour, where children at waist height can’t get to poles to hold on because there are other people holding onto the pole already, and they aren’t visible in the crowd so get pushed and squashed.

They are falling over because adults who weigh 3-4 times what they do are bumping into them as the train moves, not because an 8 year old can’t stand up steadily normally.

YABU, kids are not second class citizens and it’s often safer for them to sit rather than get flung around. Honestly I think some people see them as vermin.

But plenty of us have seen it happen…

The reasoning behind who gets free passes is not the same.

I must say in all my years of using public transport I’ve never noticed adults running around, swinging off the poles etc as I often see these apparently wobbly children who absolutely need a seat do.

Would still rather a child (under 10) sit down than a healthy adult. Balance skills and strength to hold on aren’t quite there.

Healthy kids aren't routinely tumbling over, either. I, too, use public transport a lot and haven't once seen it happen.

If you were to judge it based on who pays you’d have disabled snd elderly people standing so that’s clearly a nonsense argument.

And healthy adults are not routinely tumbling over like skittles on tubes snd buses. In my thousands of journeys on busy tubes and buses I think I’ve witnessed an adult fall over once and that was tripping over luggage. Young kids on the other hand are wobbling about all over the place. And as for the argument that children simply ‘bounce’ - visit the average school vs the average workplace snd see count how many limbs are in plaster.

The obvious etiquette is that someone more able to stand makes way for people who are less able to stand, regardless of age. Everyone else of equal ability has equal right to sit down.

I don't dispute that, I was just pointing out, in response to someone who thought this wasn't new that, to me, it IS new. Of course, new is relative. It probably isn't new to someone in their 20s, IYSWIM

Much much safer for younger children to be seated. If we go to all the faff and effort of putting them in car seats, why shouldn't we make travelling on public transport as safe as we can?

Teenagers should be made to stand for adults all day long imo! 😉

It wouldn't occur to me to give up my seat for a child. I get panicky on the tube and if it's crowded I would struggle standing - sitting isn't great but I feel as though I have my own space. I would and have given up my seat on public transport for an elderly person but spent the rest of the journey panicking.

I would give my seat ( on a journey of less than half an hour) to an elderly person or someone with visible mobility issues. Not so much a child.

They can sit on laps or if they're bigger just hold on while standing close to their parents.

I guess I have non visible disabilities and struggle to stand comfortably for more than five minutes, so I'm more attuned to looking at those who might be similar, though obviously you can't often tell.

Well thank goodness things have changed then! The average adult is definitely more able to stand on a tube than a young child who can't reach the handles and is below eyeline so WAY more likely to get squashed or knocked over by adults who don't see them. Selfish adults who think young children should stand up and give them a seat need to rethink their entitlement!

I think you do neither yourself nor your children a service in being such a martyr.

Well, they don’t in a number of ways. Firstly they’re not paying the same price as adults (and in London they’re not paying at all). And secondly the impact of a child getting a little pushed about or even falling on a train or bus isn’t as severe as someone older and certainly someone elderly. Different centre of gravity, more likely to bounce rather than break etc.

I mean, those of us who grew up expected to give up our seats didn’t spend our childhoods in traction as a result, which is what some people seem to think would happen if their DC had to do that nowadays.

Not on the tube, but on the bus when DC was about 2. We were in the Lake District and had been pootling about in Buttermere. It's a tiny bus back into Keswick but over Whinlatter Pass. No one gave us a seat. The wee boy stood leaning on my leg with me holding onto him as best I could. He fell asleep standing up. We got off at the forest park stop and waited for the next bus.

This definitely isn't new, I remember my grandparents putting the dc in seats and standing themselves and that was....a very long time ago! 😅

I rarely use public transport now (rural) but would likely prioritise my dc sitting over me, despite having a condition that makes it hard to stand in those conditions- im tall enough to use grab handles, I can anticipate corners and braking etc better than they can, and importantly, I'm tall enough that other adults standing will see me, whereas shorter dc likely to be jostled, knocked over etc (and hit in the face by backpacks!)

Surely in that situation you hold onto a pole or strap and he holds onto you. That’s how we always did it.

And he doesn’t risk getting flattened, such hyperbole. He might risk someone pushing past him. Not the end of the world and something to get used to if you’re travelling on packed trains.