on the tube recently people were giving up seats for a mother and a grandfather who in turn let the children sit

@DonnyBurrito after I’ve been at work all day I’m not going to stand up for a 7 year old who has been at the Natural History Museum or wherever, and their DM has then chosen to travel with them on a rush hour train.

Her body was probably tired... They are a lot smaller, weaker and less able to stand/move for long periods of time compared to adults.

If it makes you feel better, when that little girl grows up, her taxes will one day be contributing to that adults state pension 🙂 alongside their health care, and everything else.

Perhaps adults could be a little more grateful for children, given that that will be the ones supporting them when they're elderly.

You're assuming anyone with kids is merely riding around the city for fun and frolics. God forbid kids need to get to childcare so parents can work, or school or hospital appointments. If we have a 9.30 am hospital appointment then we have to catch the buses through rush hour, or leave at stupid o'clock in the morning and be hours early sat in a hospital.

No it's the assumption that adult needs trump children's. "Children are less important than an adult and therefore they should only get a seat if one isn't needed by an adult" might seem like an old fashioned adage but it remains true in many people's minds. See also "I pay full fare and children are free / half price so I have more rights to a seat".

Personally I'd assume a seat offered to me with young children is being offered to us as a family and I'd seat my kids. If I had one I'd put them on my knee but I have three so I'd sit two and support the third. I always send them on the bus ahead of me to sit first

No first class on transpennine trains!

And when you use your brain, and think beyond 'etiquette' and try to access common sense. Go on try... What do you think then? What do you think should happen?

Also hidden disabilities...my daughter is 16 with a chromosome deletion. Struggles with anxiety and coordination and has had spinal fusion surgery... much safer for her to sit

I’d have done the same with our kids. Don’t see the issue.

So you think noone uses public transport to take their child to daycare en route to work themselves?

I imagine if young children and parents are on the tube early they actually have places to be and things to do saying they shouldn't be on public transport is ridiculous!

@ButterButterBattle I probably would have made my way to first class if it existed… you’ll find the guard would be sympathetic

But I think the young people and students should feel ashamed of themselves… what a selfish bunch. They’ll be no happier in the long run. Helping others often leads to happiness

I feel like children, the elderly and the disabled should sit. Adults and teenagers without disability should stand. Transport is designed around adults. It is literally for us.

@ButterButterBattle that does sound very bad, in that ‘every man for themselves’ scenario I would have double checked on who had been left out and give a seat if necessary.

Are you suggesting that was better? When the small people, with the soft bones and more likely to fall and be I jured in an emergency stop we're standing while able bodied adults sat on their asses?

In an uncrowded train it doesn't matter. I guess in a crowded tube the crush is reduced if the parent sits with their child on their lap as it's one less adult standing.

What actually happened was that a train was cancelled, the next train was running, which was Mum's train, and there was no reserved seating. It was the Liverpool to Norwich train which separates at Nottingham and they are always told to sit in the rear of the train to continue past Nottingham. Mum got a seat to Nottingham, in the correct part of the train (I checked with the guard and we put her on) and then they were told at Nottingham that actually the other half of the train was continuing on this day. So everyone had to switch to the other part of the train. Mum had luggage and needed assistance and by that time they were helped, all the younger folks had switched carriage and bagged the seats. It was Mum and one other lady in her 70s who was recovering from cancer who had needed help, who were left without seats (along with various other people who were young).
She then had to stand from Nottingham to Norwich. One person offered their seat to mum and the lady with cancer and mum said the other lady should take it as the lady was feeling quite unwell. Everyone else put their headphones in and studiously "didn't notice" an elderly lady having to stand. She ended up sitting on her suitcase for a while.

Shame on those people who left her standing for their own comfort.

I really think kids this small ought to be sitting on laps if it's that busy. Definitely at 3 or 4. I find parents who don't do this - ie both kids and adults have seats - a bit U (unless it's a long journey and they've booked the seats, in which case crack on). However, I would probably choose to let me child sit instead of me if I had to. Much safer.

@Sofiewoo I guess I’m thinking more about school holidays, when people take their children out for the day. As I said, I give up my seat, but slightly resentfully. I have no choice but to be on the tube at rush hour, whereas most families on a day out could choose their travel a little differently.

Not a big deal, I know it can’t be avoided sometimes, but it grates a bit in a way that it doesn’t when giving up a seat to someone disabled, pregnant or elderly. Which I guess doesn’t make much sense as the elderly don’t necessarily need to be on a train at rush hour either. Which probably brings us full circle to OP’s point that decades ago, children weren’t given priority for seats, so I still have that thought ingrained. I think it’s fresh in my mind from last week a child of 7 or 8 getting on the tube with an adult and constantly saying ‘I want to sit down’ to her mum until an adult got up to give her a seat.

Depends on the age of the child. I think kids understand the age of about 10 struggle to stand on buses, but i wouldn't fancy a 8 or 9yo on my knee.

How is it? The vast majority of families are not at home with their children all day, children are in school, nursery, childcare and parents are working.
The idea that parents shouldn’t get public transport in the morning with their children is literally crazy.

It’s easier for them to avoid rush hour, so yes, leaving after 9.30am would be probably he helpful to them and toddler DC.

@Custark I’d give my seat on the tube for children of about 6 and under. Slightly resentfully though, as it’s on the parents a bit for getting on at rush hour,

Do you think parents with children and just avoid leaving the house until 10am? Or aren’t allowed to take public transport?

I’d give my seat on the tube for children of about 6 and under. Slightly resentfully though, as it’s on the parents a bit for getting on at rush hour, when it is quite dangerous for small children to stand. I agree with OP there has been a change in habits (I’m in my 50s), no-one in the past would have stood for a 6+ year old, and I see it happen quite regularly.

For PPs post about her 84 year old mother it’s a bit more tricky. Most of the passengers would have been in reserved seats and it’s a big ask to get someone to volunteer to stand for 3 hours. The tube isn’t such a big deal as you’re probably volunteering to give up a seat for 45 minutes max. The train conductor should have kept his eye out for an empty seat though for her.

But surely that’s not possible if we’re talking about a child of 11 - ie old enough to stand for someone. You’re hardly going to have them in your knee.

The tube is noisy and can be quite scary for young kids (especially if they aren't used to it).

I always give my seat to anyone with a kid.