New “home” that I hate

Who did you buy the property from (i.e. was it a previous owner who owned 100%, or was it from their landlord)? Was the standard form that details fixtures, fittings and whether they are working included as part of the sale process? In a normal sale (I don't know if it's different if you buy from a landlord in a shared ownership arrangement), if the seller has lied on the forms, the buyer can bring a claim against them for property misrepresentation. If the claim is successful, damages may be awarded for the difference in value of what you paid (based on the misrepresentation) and what you would have paid if you had known the truth.

Contact the HA in writing regarding the mould issue on the lower floor and ask for a timeline of when it will be sorted out.

In terms of lack of natural daylight, you can buy special sunlight lamps and lightbulbs that simulate sunlight, which will help. (Of course it's not great to have to turn a light on all the time, but if you all end up staying there, then it's important for your wellbeing that you all try to make it as nice as possible.)

Don't beat yourself up over the decision. I bought what I could afford, loved it on viewing and hated it from the second I got the keys, when I discovered the damage the previous owner had done. Sometimes people will grow to love their property, somtimes they won't. Just think of the positives so you don't get too bogged down in unhappy feelings -

• you could actually afford to buy property
• you now have a place of your own, which will (hopefully) increase in value
• your outgoings are now less than they were when you were renting
• this doesn't have to be your 'forever' home. You can stay there and staircase your ownership levels, then buy somewhere else when you're in the financial position to do so

Agree with others that a dark cool flat will be a bonus in the summer. I've lived in a south facing flat and it was unbearable in hot weather, had to keep blinds and windows closed during the day so it was effectively as dark as north facing but boiling hot

North facing is honestly a blessing in a new(ish) build flat. It’ll save you sweltering in high summer! And it must be great that you can afford to stay in your dream area and are saving money every month. Sort the boiler, deal with the moths (bombs are cheap and effective), then get decorating to make it feel like home- loads of good ideas online for good colours for N facing rooms. DD is obviously picking up on your negativity and realistically you’re stuck there for at least medium term so focus on the positives. Don’t worry about secondary schools- a lot can and probably will change between now and then so I wouldn’t even think about it until DD is in Y5 and if they’re still bad then that’s your obvious time to move. You have a bigger issue with your DH though.

I think you might feel better if you can take ownership of the situation a bit. Agree with your husband that some of the saving each month can be put towards making the home nice. Use chat gpt to help you imagine what it could look like.

Agree make regular complaints to management company about smell. Set a reminder on your phone and do one email or call a week until it's sorted. You'll feel like you're not just sitting idly by.

Speak to your conveyancing solicitor about whether any presumption of a boiler in working order being left by the sellers, probably not but no harm in checking.

Well, I’d focus on this as a huge positive. I think what you’re experiencing is a combination of buyer’s remorse (which is so inevitable it’s pretty much part of the property purchasing process, like surveys and conveyancing) and something that affects longterm renters — what you can afford to buy is seldom as nice as what you could afford to rent. That was certainly the case for us when we bought our tiny (north-facing) London flat, and I’ve seen similar with friends. I can’t decide about your husband’s role. Did he poohpooh your reservations, or did he reasonably think this was the best you could afford now in your area and persuade you?

Either way, @KnickerlessParsons ’s post is a good one. Make this flat work for you now, and for a few years, and sell it for more money and move on.

You live in London in an area you like and few can afford. I would get started on having the apartment furnished and painted to my needs.
Your daughter is super lucky. Few children can grow up with all the opportunities that are in London.

Look into the ECO4 home scheme for a new boiler, I’ve just had one fitted completely free.

Get rid of the moths
you can buy moth bombs which are cheap
and effective
do that before you replace and carpets / furniture as they will ruin it quickly

you have cheaper rent / mortgage
your in an area you like
paint the walls white or very light colours put up light curtains or blinds to keep the room feeling light and airy

What does the shared ownership contract say about HA help with repairs. There's usually a cobtribution they will pay towards repairs but it varies.

Do you want to move home op? Is this behind your feelings? Or are you happy in London overall?

I would focus on making it into a lovely cosy nest. It is YOUR house, you own it, so buy flowers and hanging plants and bring the outside in! Create a jungle atmosphere or a pink girly palace.

Your dd is picking up on your feelings and mirroring them. You can change this by adding excitement to this new project. You can make it super beautiful and then in 2/3 years you can sell for a profit and buy something near to an outstanding secondary school. This can be your plan. You are on the property ladder at last - you have savings and extra money. This was a good decision.

But

From now on - never let anyone override your voice and your opinion. Start practicing no. Start standing your ground. Your dh does not call the shots, you are equal.

In a years time - you can start researching new places, schools etc. You are where you are but only for the very short term.

My DS London flat is bright and sunny but it’s also unbearably hot for the whole summer. You can paint the walls light and add plants etc. it’ll help

There was a thread here the other day from someone else who bought a flat in London that is too hot, 30 degrees in the flat which was much hotter than the weather outdoors. I’d much rather a flat that was dark and cool than dealing with the heat.

Sorry you feel like this OP, we bought a place a couple of years ago and initially that felt like a mistake because it needed work and wasn’t ’ready to go’ like our rentals had been. I love it now however. North facing could be a blessing, you will never be woken by the sun blasting in, it should stay cool and you won’t be blinded in the evenings!

It's tough when you move into a home which needs work and doesn't feel familiar or exciting.

You will be able to do a lot with clever choice of paints, buy testers and check them out. You could lean into dark colours and creat cosy spaces or go for light and reflective. Same with furniture. Things like narrow console tables with a lamp and a plant in a dark hallway and a mirror above. Light curtains which are bigger than the window to make it feel larger. Lots of storage, ottoman beds, floor to ceiling wardrobes (IKEA Pax are amazing for this). Coffee table which is also a storage box / trunk. Bedside cabinets which are chests of drawers so you can fit more in.

We've just moved and when we were packing up our old house it felt so small and pokey once all the mirror, wall art, curtains etc were taken down. The new house is much bigger but has no where near the same level of build in storage and I can't quite work out what to put where so it's chaos at the moment. I'm working my way round each room working out what storage I can add.

I would imagine renting out a shared ownership flat (subletting) is not allowed by the HA. You would be subletting a rental property, even if you part own it.

Having a secure non rental flat near central London is an incredible asset even if the flat itself is imperfect. I live in a north facing tiny house in London and it is cool and calm. I’ve gradually painted it and made it nice. Take some time to get the boiler sorted and then paint your daughter’s room and make it work.

You've got to chalk the boiler situation up to experience. It should have been verified as part of the sale process ie checked if it was working or evidence of service etc. But can't be helped if no question was ever asked about it. So just get it replaced. I'm not sure I understand why the cost 2x for being on the top floor. Maybe get another quote?
Moths .. London has a lot of moths I'm afraid. Its a constant battle. If you feel this infestation is at extreme levels again you can consult the documentation provided as part of sale to see whether a question was asked about it (I recall a recent court case where the buyers won about moths in a home actually).
But if you've had pest control in, I'd say you have to now just figure out ways to keep under control ( sachets, traps etc).

As to light, I agree. I love light. And it's disappointing your DH didnt listen to you. But do look at alternative lighting ideas eg what about Phlips Hue bulbs and make different scenes and light effects?

Good luck OP. Its common to get new home blues and over time you may come to love the place

Our dream home was very dark in one place, due to a balcony blocking the light. We put spot lights and went for a lightening paint.

sort the moths, boiler - push on solicitors to get something from the vendor towards it and try to enjoy your space. As others said it might be nice to be cooler, London gets very hot in the summer

You can buy light and breathe paint for the walls to lighten them up. In summer it’ll be a blessing and in winter string fairy lights in your daughter’s bedroom with cosy cushions and light fabrics. I have a north facing living room and have grown to absolutely love it.

keep colours light and the room clutter free for a brighter feel

Sorry thought you had bought from new,