Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

There's something racist about toilet provision in the UK.

165 replies

The13thFairy · 31/05/2025 06:53

Am I being unreasonable to think there's something racist about 'oh, women and men can use the same toilets' here in the UK, when in developing countries and refugee camps, providing clean, safe and separate facilities for girls and women is seen to be of the utmost importance - because we know those foreign fellas will prey on them every chance they get; peeping, assaulting, you name it. Our British chaps, though, wouldn't say boo to a goose! Perfectly safe. Won't cause a moment's unease. Totally trustworthy, every man jack of them.

OP posts:
KarmaKameelion · 31/05/2025 09:45

TheBlueUniform · 31/05/2025 07:00

No idea why you think it’s racist, but you’re right that women should have their own space yes

Edited

Tell that to my place of work…

MsEm · 31/05/2025 09:42

No, not racist. WTH?

RareGoalsVerge · 31/05/2025 09:41

I understand and agree with the point you are making @The13thFairy - but I don't think it's general racism as such because the vast majority of people who are pushing for more unisex toilets in the uk have absolutely no involvement with provision of toilet and washing facilities at refugee camps, and the people providing toilet and washing facilities at refugee camps generally have no influence over decisions about unisex toilets in the uk.

It is certainly well known among the people doing relief work in refugee camps that without strictly single-sex facilities, rape statistics skyrocket.

If you could find and identify specific individuals who understand the necessity of and implement single-sex policies in African/Asian countries and who simultaneously support and promote mixed-sex policies in the UK then you could certainly accuse those specific individuals of racism.

Annoyedone · 31/05/2025 09:37

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 31/05/2025 09:34

Two words. Harshita Brella. Have you actually seen the way women are routinely treated by men in some countries? Bit hard to feel safe when you are ruled by a patriarchy that has outdated views of women and is not progressive.

Exactly. Which is why women need single sex spaces. The OP is questioning why the same organisations understand that, but then campaign for mixed sex spaces ant the same time. Do they believe UK women do not deserve single sex spaces or do they believe UK men are somehow different to those in developing countries?

Naunet · 31/05/2025 09:36

Cynicalaboutall · 31/05/2025 09:33

Oh Gawd you lot, give it a rest will you?

This.. “I’m not giving to/ shopping at wherever because they have different opinions on Trans to me” is virtue signalling at its worst.. and so 5 years ago!
You’ve won, Primark has a big sign up saying changing rooms are for women only.
Go and find something else to be outraged about.

Why are you trying to police what women talk and care about?

AgentJohnson · 31/05/2025 09:36

Ohhh FFS! The pivots that some posters are willing to make in order to make a point is at best tedious and at worst, insulting.

Around 1.4 billion people have no access to a private toilet and around 2 billion have no access to clean water in their home. It's hardly the same fight. I think it's a bit disgusting to equate the two

This with fucking bells on!!!!!!

SquashedMallow · 31/05/2025 09:35

Wondershuke · 31/05/2025 09:16

How is this in any way relevant to what Op has said? I’m not necessarily instantly in support of what she said and I’m still thinking
it through but I don’t see how your point disproves what she says. She is actually saying more should be done for women’s and girls here from what I can understand.

Theres something off about you advocating for women’s rights at the same time telling other disadvantage groups to pipe down.

Are you concerned that the words sexist and misogyny are thrown about too much? Or are those “accusations” okay?

Females being able to use a female toilet I would imagine falls into basic human rights.

Feeling a different gender and wishing to use toilets that assign with that disillusion I would imagine is not a basic human right.

One group has to trump the other on this one. And that has to be the one that is asking for a basic human right. It's not rocket science.

The other minority group shits out. That's the way it is. Doesn't mean you have to be cruel and abusive and hostile towards said group.

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 31/05/2025 09:34

Annoyedone · 31/05/2025 09:14

But this is not another country. This is organisations both campaigning for single sex toilets in some countries and mixed sex toilets in others. The OP is rightly calling out the racism in this approach. Why are some men “safe” to share mixed sex spaces and some not? Why are they not campaigning for mixed se provision globally?

Two words. Harshita Brella. Have you actually seen the way women are routinely treated by men in some countries? Bit hard to feel safe when you are ruled by a patriarchy that has outdated views of women and is not progressive.

Spudlover · 31/05/2025 09:34

I knew what you were getting at OP, and you raise a valid point.

Organisations like Amnesty actively campaign for safe, single sex toilet and washing facilities elsewhere, here, they actively campaign against it.

Its almost as though they think only black and brown men rape.

Cynicalaboutall · 31/05/2025 09:33

Oh Gawd you lot, give it a rest will you?

This.. “I’m not giving to/ shopping at wherever because they have different opinions on Trans to me” is virtue signalling at its worst.. and so 5 years ago!
You’ve won, Primark has a big sign up saying changing rooms are for women only.
Go and find something else to be outraged about.

TheKeatingFive · 31/05/2025 09:32

I don't think it's racist exactly.

Just utterly incoherent and lacking any logic.

Naunet · 31/05/2025 09:31

Our toilet provisions are not in any way racist, but Amnisty and UNWomen are.

LillyPJ · 31/05/2025 09:31

TheBlueUniform · 31/05/2025 07:00

No idea why you think it’s racist, but you’re right that women should have their own space yes

Edited

I think the racism was implied in the different standards suggested for toilets in the UK and those in foreign countries - as if men here were more trustworthy.

Pluvia · 31/05/2025 09:30

Viviennemary · 31/05/2025 09:12

What total nonsense.

No. They are saying men here in predominantly white Britain/ Northern Europe are no danger to women and women have nothing to fear from having them in their loos and changing rooms and showers, but men in developing countries, mostly places where people have brown or black skin, cannot be trusted to share spaces with women. The irony is that almost all the men who seek access to women's spaces her sin the UK are white, because AGP and transgenderism tends to be a white middle class movement. Look at all the photos of the topless men with moobs out, or the Trafalgar Square protest. How many black or brown faces? Not many. Transgender protests are the preserve, mainly, of white, far-left male misogynists — though there are a fair few female misogynists in there too.

Dangermoo · 31/05/2025 09:30

I often wonder if some people sit and think how they can get uptight about something. Do they have a checklist which they can tackle each day? It's Saturday, let me consult my list. Oh yes, I need to shoehorn racism in today. Now let's start a nonsense thread. 🙄 It really does the cause of fighting discrimination and zero favours.

Brefugee · 31/05/2025 09:28

not racist but misogynist.

Indeed Amnesty International run very good campaigns for single sex toilets for women in developing nations but are adamant in the global north that TWAW which kind of sticks in the craw and stops me donating.

UnderratedCabbage · 31/05/2025 09:27

Dontlletmedownbruce · 31/05/2025 09:12

I don't think racism is the issue here. The criminal justice system is a factor and while it's flawed here, there is a system and many rapists and predators are convicted. If we had zero protection, life would be a lot more dangerous for women. On top of that there are cultural issues in some places so even if the criminal system was in place, there would be a shame in reporting and the instances would be low, depending on the country and culture. There are some cultures that are more misogynistic of course and probably some that are much more violent towards women but I don't think its as simple as us v foreigners as there are 1000s of different cultures to consider with a huge variety of norms.

Isn't it like only below 1%of reported rapes get conviction? That's quite daunting number.

LoveItaly · 31/05/2025 09:26

Well given that the UK is so multicultural now, and that there are so many men from third world countries here, your post makes little sense. I think you just want to stoke division.

Wondershuke · 31/05/2025 09:26

Ugh no matter how many posters have explained this plainly some people are deliberately missing the point.

You’ve done well to raise this issue though, I genuinely hadn’t thought of it like that before and I’ll be contacting some of the named charities to see their reasoning.

A lot of Mn is fairly racist unfortunately so they can see sexism and misogyny but don’t like mentions of racism especially racism against men, so I can how this thread is going to go already.

I’m out ✌🏽Good luck, OP.

Nameychangington · 31/05/2025 09:26

ExtraOnions · 31/05/2025 09:21

I caught a Train last week, where the toilets are used by men and women - not at all sexist or racist

Our local cafe has one toilet, for men and women - not racist or sexist

My workplace has neutral toilets, where the same space is shared … not racist or sexist.

You missed out 'you have a gender neutral toilet at home'.

Single use toilets aren't what OP is talking about, are they? She asking why big international charities think women in this country should not be able to have single sex toilets and women's in other countries really need them. Are they saying men in other countries are more dangerous than men in the UK?

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 31/05/2025 09:25

Racist toilets? Think I’ve heard it all now. Just when you thought nothing could possibly be stretched further to make it into something bizarre that doesn’t actually exist.

AlexandraLeaving · 31/05/2025 09:24

Nameychangington · 31/05/2025 08:13

In the UK we're meant to subscribe to the luxury belief that misogyny and the second class status of women has been solved, and so women here who want spaces with no men in are nasty backwards dinosaurs being unkind to the poor vulnerable men who believe they are women.

In developing countries we're still allowed to know that woman are put in danger and excluded from public life by mixed sex facilities, because the biggest danger to women is men.

Woman in the UK are meant to go along with the pretence that we have equality between the sexes here. It's all misogyny, it just wears a different outfit in different countries.

This sums it up very nicely. It’s double-standards born of luxury beliefs rather than racism per se.

Muffinmam · 31/05/2025 09:23

The13thFairy · 31/05/2025 06:53

Am I being unreasonable to think there's something racist about 'oh, women and men can use the same toilets' here in the UK, when in developing countries and refugee camps, providing clean, safe and separate facilities for girls and women is seen to be of the utmost importance - because we know those foreign fellas will prey on them every chance they get; peeping, assaulting, you name it. Our British chaps, though, wouldn't say boo to a goose! Perfectly safe. Won't cause a moment's unease. Totally trustworthy, every man jack of them.

Britain has gone woke.

It is utter madness that women can’t change or pee in private.

Wondershuke · 31/05/2025 09:23

ExtraOnions · 31/05/2025 09:21

I caught a Train last week, where the toilets are used by men and women - not at all sexist or racist

Our local cafe has one toilet, for men and women - not racist or sexist

My workplace has neutral toilets, where the same space is shared … not racist or sexist.

Way to miss the point.

Many posters have explained it very well :
The strange thing is… Amnesty International are campaigning for women to have single sex toilets in India but mixed sex toilets in the UK. If that’s not them being racist and implying Indian men are somehow more dangerous to women then what is it?

Farahdwy · 31/05/2025 09:23

Where’s the race aspect? You mean sexist surely?!