Bitchy work colleague I’d had enough!

'Peacemaker' hasn't needed to - they've been able to get their own way through pretending to be all nice and fluffy then attacked from behind the mask when nobody's looking.

The other one is making a point because they're pissed off about becoming the subject of jokes and shown up to be a twat in public - if they make any more comments about 'stealing a project', a neutral 'There's a simple way to ensure that doesn't happen again. Now, you're going to spangle the worzelgummit and I'm going to flangicate the contracipticative perdificate' and make sure you document the distribution of tasks in advance so it can be shared with management at any given moment. It's always worthwhile recording what's planned and who will be allocated/responsible, as it's possible that something might be overlooked in the distribution of tasks (or a sneaky dick might not do something and then claim that it was your task that you've failed to complete).

Other people have made jokes precisely because they think it's marvellous that you spoke out. And now you've done it once, it's very possible that a) people are less likely to impose upon you or steal your work and b) it'll be easier to nip any attempts to do so in the bud before it gets to the meeting stage.

Looking to the future, as part of the process, it's always handy to make a point of saying something like 'Taking the data provided by <other person, so independent> following the implementation, we can see that whilst the contracipticative perdificate flangificiation by Team A <my team> has increased productivity by 495% over the quarter, the implementation of the worzelgummit spanglement has not yet shown as significant an improvement <twat's team>'. And when management ask why, you can defer to <twat> as he's best placed to answer as it's his area of expertise.

You did great. More of that sort of thing!

Next time peacemaker comes over and mentions it, just ask her to drop the subject.

‘oh hi peacemaker, are you still talking about this, I think it’s old news now’ tinkly laugh.

tbh I’d not call her peacemaker, I’d call her ‘shit stirrer in peacemaker clothing’

That peacemake is utter prison, do not engage.

With the bitch person, everytime she comes over asking you something to annoy you, email her back "just to confim your wish for v,y and z clarification.
Every single time.

It will be clear she is interrupting your day and you can mention that in an email after about 4-6 that perhaps collating questions would mean less interruptions to your day.
Hang in there.

By responding at all you are feeding them exactly what they want. They can now be victim and tell people how you misunderstood and are picking on them etc. you need to grey rock them professionally and start to show you can’t be played.

You have really go to start asking this person why she's trying to stir up trouble.

Peacemaker is the flying monkey of bitchy colleague

@rainydaysamonday24 yes thought as much. Smiling assasin.

If you allow this persons behaviour to affect yours.colour your way of working you are allowing them to set you up as not ‘able’ or ‘up for the job’. Get into work, do your job and ignore!

You stood up for yourself. That’s fine. Why aren’t you going into work? Just smile serenely in the face of her nuts behaviour. You can’t just leave off the back of this and never go back… 🫢

Sorry to go against the grain but I think maybe the reason you feel bad/it’s become such a big thing was because of the bit where you said she only wanted that part of the project because of interest from management.

The denial of the ridiculous “stealing” was absolutely fine and completely the right thing to do, but that second part was more of a retaliatory jab at her - it made it into more of a two way argument.

The fact that you then went and “sulked” as others might have seen it /were so upset in another office - just amped up the drama for everyone else. Not blaming you at all, can see why you felt that way, but looks like some people are keen on amping this up.

I think to survive the rest of your time there you’ll need to unclench around other colleagues and somehow find a way to be the bigger person, laugh it off and relegate it to the past.

So if bitchy colleague comes up to divvy up projects etc like a knobhead just play along like she’s a bit slow and do it really patiently, maybe ask her if she wants someone to print off a list for reference? Then move on, talk to other colleagues, just do your job and don’t let this mini drama become your defining feature.

@rainydaysamonday24 to me peacemaker sounds more like an arselicker stab in the backer!! as for bitchy colleague, she/he was probably gobsmacked that someone answered them back!! now they are wary!! have you told your manager (whose job bitchy colleague wants) about all the reactions you have had and how it is affecting you. I applaud you for standing up for yourself. I too am of the "dont fuck with me" mentality and I would not take shit from bitch either!

Urgh. I wish one of us could be there to back you up, you need an uninvolved work mate to say "Just pack it in Susan, you're annoying everyone now not just rainy". Try whichever you like from these, they start polite so you could escalate:

"I've noticed you coming over a lot and breaking my concentration. Please wrap up all your questions into one daily email and I'll reply that way."

"The split of work will remain as written in the email. I've noticed you being disruptive during the working day lately, is there something you're struggling with?"

"Oh dear, you're bored again. Have you thought about doing some work to keep occupied?"

Yes peacemaker is anything but.

I wish you could be assertive and not let them get away with it. I know it isn't easy if it isn't your nature.

You could always get signed off sick with stress if you feel that bad?

What about reporting to HR? Sounds like bullying.

She’s not a ‘peacemaker’ she’s a shit stirrer.

Ah yes I’ve worked with one of those before. Does very little, always sounds busy, seems busy when it comes to the important stuff etc. we had a reunion recently and everyone had long seen through their behaviour. Stand your ground, defend yourself!

This is not a peacemaker - this is a toxic trouble maker. I would watch this person more than the bitchy colleague - they are more dangerous. If the ‘peacemaker’ raises again how you overreacted I would ask ‘Interesting you have an issue with my response - what is your option on people who accuse others publicly of stealing?’ Let’s force the ‘peacemaker’ to either shut up or to make some negative statements themselves they could be quoted on later.

OP, don't rush into any decision.
Take your time.
Putting down boundaries is always difficult and uncomfortable.
But ultimately it is a really good thing.
YOU did nothing wrong.
It is not good for you to allow yourself to be treated poorly.
Keep your head down and this will pass.

Don't be forced to leave if it doesn't suit you.
You suit yourself.

We are here for you so keep posting for support.

If standing up for yourself means you get the title of grumpy woman, I’d take grumpy woman any day. Chances are people won’t think of you like that, they will have been inwardly cheering you on for finally calling out bitch colleague, as I suspect most have them haven’t had the balls to do so themselves.

I called someone out the other day, and was dreading the following week. , but I’m so glad I did as everyone is treating me so much better than before.

You have given the unpleasant person an opportunity to stop by saying how unacceptable it is. If it stops, great, if not, make a formal complaint and when doing so, make sure you emphasise that you objected to them first.