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AIBU?

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Where do you draw the line at crude comments?

109 replies

TruthPrevail · 30/05/2025 22:39

New partner - a bit ‘rough around the edges’ you could say but a lovely man who is caring and has been a gent towards me so far.

He does however have a bit of a habit for some cruder language, let’s just say. I don’t have a huge issue with this per se, and it’s usually when we’ve had a drink or two. So I’ve not said anything to date.

However, we were looking at photos on my phone earlier and he asked ‘who is that’ when pointing out one of my friends he hasn’t seen before. I explained who she is, he asked if she’s in a relationship and I said no but she has a first date coming up.

His reply was something about her date leaving her like a plasterers radio, that’s not the exact quote but something similar.

Would you try to nip his language in the bud or is that seen as a bit ‘controlling’ especially this early in the relationship?

OP posts:
Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 30/05/2025 23:03

I just googled it, yuk! I’m quite laid back but that would be game over for me.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 30/05/2025 23:00

Eww! There! I’d draw the line there! Throw this one back.

LavenderBlue19 · 30/05/2025 22:59

So he's basically saying he fancies your mate and is thinking about cumming on her? Delightful. That would be it for me.

DorothyStorm · 30/05/2025 22:58

What would be enough to put you off him?

Itsrainingthankgoodness · 30/05/2025 22:57

I must be very naive because I didn't even know what that meant. Just googled it and it's gross. And totally inappropriate.

Either you tolerate someone who uses crude language or you don't. You can't spend your time judging whether something is acceptably crude or not acceptably crude. And he sure as hell won't bother moderating in any way.

I couldn't be bothered being in the company of someone who constantly had to let you know his disgusting thoughts about women and sex.

MaryGreenhill · 30/05/2025 22:54

I don't even know what that means tbh . I asked my DH and he didn't know either .
What does it mean please?

Endofyear · 30/05/2025 22:53

Yuk, that would put me off him 🤮 not much point in talking to him about it, this is who he is and he's unlikely to change. The question is if you're willing to put up with it or not!

Imbusytodaysorry · 30/05/2025 22:51

toomuchfaff · 30/05/2025 22:47

Would you try to nip his language in the bud or is that seen as a bit ‘controlling’ especially this early in the relationship?

I'm not going to be policing how someone speaks; but I'm also not accepting of my date saying my friend would be left " like a plasterers radio"

What a gross creep.. basically saying your friend is so fit that he'd jizz all over her? Who even says that kind of stuff? Is he 12? What a way to reduce a friend to a spunk bucket? thats given me so much ick my facial expression hasn't returned to normal yet... 😅 absolutely inappropriate

I agree it’s vile ! You can change his language (possibly) but he will still
be the dis respectful creep perving on your friends @TruthPrevail he will just be hiding the real him . He had already let you know who he is op .

toomuchfaff · 30/05/2025 22:47

Would you try to nip his language in the bud or is that seen as a bit ‘controlling’ especially this early in the relationship?

I'm not going to be policing how someone speaks; but I'm also not accepting of my date saying my friend would be left " like a plasterers radio"

What a gross creep.. basically saying your friend is so fit that he'd jizz all over her? Who even says that kind of stuff? Is he 12? What a way to reduce a friend to a spunk bucket? thats given me so much ick my facial expression hasn't returned to normal yet... 😅 absolutely inappropriate