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Original poster

Where do you draw the line at crude comments?

109 replies

TruthPrevail · 30/05/2025 22:39

New partner - a bit ‘rough around the edges’ you could say but a lovely man who is caring and has been a gent towards me so far.

He does however have a bit of a habit for some cruder language, let’s just say. I don’t have a huge issue with this per se, and it’s usually when we’ve had a drink or two. So I’ve not said anything to date.

However, we were looking at photos on my phone earlier and he asked ‘who is that’ when pointing out one of my friends he hasn’t seen before. I explained who she is, he asked if she’s in a relationship and I said no but she has a first date coming up.

His reply was something about her date leaving her like a plasterers radio, that’s not the exact quote but something similar.

Would you try to nip his language in the bud or is that seen as a bit ‘controlling’ especially this early in the relationship?

OP posts:
saraclara · 31/05/2025 00:17

I'd have the instant ick, and wouldn't need to police his language as I wouldn't be seeing him again.

JohnTheRevelator · 31/05/2025 00:12

A plasterer's radio? That's one I've never heard before. I had to look it up. 🤢

LemondrizzleShark · 31/05/2025 00:08

It’s not the language, it’s the sentiment. If he used the politest, most medically-correct terminology, he’d still be talking about ejaculating all over your friend multiple times, which is fucking grim.

Pallisers · 31/05/2025 00:07

You can't change your boyfriend. You can try but it won't work. You either are ok with him the way he is or you are not with him.

I'd be over and out with this one.

JustCopyeditorsAnnie · 31/05/2025 00:00

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

healthybychristmas · 30/05/2025 23:57

Oh God, he is disgusting. He feels completely free to tell you something really crude about one of your friends. I would get rid of him as soon as possible.

bombastix · 30/05/2025 23:56

No. You won’t change him either. There’s no mileage in this. But at least you knew early on what he was like.

Psychoticbreak · 30/05/2025 23:51

My ex would have said something like that. Your bloke not from belfast perchance? Yea its vile though.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 30/05/2025 23:48

Would you try to nip his language in the bud or is that seen as a bit ‘controlling’ especially this early in the relationship?

You're looking at this the wrong way.

Even if you 'nipped his language in the bud', you'd still be left with a knuckle dragging disgusting perv - just one who doesn't voice it in front of you.

Is that really the sort you want to settle down with?

TwistedWonder · 30/05/2025 23:47

Are you dating Jay from The Inbetweeners?

What a prince this vulgar misogynistic prick is - grim 🤢

Renabrook · 30/05/2025 23:47

Well he has shown you who he is so accept it or move on

sundaybloodysunday12 · 30/05/2025 23:42

Yeah, it’s not thr language for me. It’s the opening saying that he fancies your friend…and then talking about it in a very crude way.

Ditch him. I couldn’t see any comeback from that.

SeaFloor · 30/05/2025 23:36

He’s a pig, OP. It’s not just his language that’s ‘crude’. Can you imagine you looking at one of your boyfriend’s friends in a photo and unable to refrain from verbally classifying him as fuckable or unfuckable in the grossest possible way?

RedIsNotMyFavouriteColour · 30/05/2025 23:34

The foul mouth wouldn't bother me as long as it was behind closed doors and he knew when to read the room - in front of my parents etc - but leeching over my friends by saying things like that would be a huge no from me. Sleazy as fuck.

Backtoblack1 · 30/05/2025 23:29

Awful comment to make.

Growlling · 30/05/2025 23:27

Unless you are fine with his language, bin him. There’s no way you can train him to be what you consider to be okay.

SquashedMallow · 30/05/2025 23:24

I find men who talk like this often work In male dominated environments (building trade etc ) where there are cultural differences in language used and topics spoken of etc. it is cultural. I think to some extent they genuinely don't realise how offensive their everyday banter is to others. But that said, regardless, yes I'd find it crude and not really my thing. It wouldn't really offend me as such , but , I guess I wouldn't particularly be "down" with all that talk either. I reckon it'd grow tiresome.

Lindajonesjustcantlivemylife · 30/05/2025 23:21

It's not policing how he talks,it's his line of thinking and expressing it.
Horrible individual op...get rid.

Itsrainingthankgoodness · 30/05/2025 23:18

Meant as a compliment but generally not well received.

Do you really think it's meant as a compliment?
I don't think so.
Guys like this one see women as either fuckable or not fuckable. So they aren't complimenting the woman when they say this. They just saying she's one of the fuckable ones. In their opinion.

BoredZelda · 30/05/2025 23:16

I’d draw the line well before a comment like this. All this talk about “policing” is rubbish. It isn’t policing to tell someone you think what they have said is out of order. It’s simply an opinion. This kind of every day misogyny does my head in and I won’t be around people who display it.

foxlover47 · 30/05/2025 23:12

It’s a huge see ya from me

Casmama · 30/05/2025 23:12

Show him the door- he is telling you who he is and 🤢

Kibble19 · 30/05/2025 23:12

MaryGreenhill · 30/05/2025 22:54

I don't even know what that means tbh . I asked my DH and he didn't know either .
What does it mean please?

I know the phrase as “like a painter’s radio” but basically it’s in reference to when workmen would have a radio playing in the background while they worked.

The radio was always covered in drips of paint/plaster etc from all their jobs. The white paint/plaster drips resemble semen, so if someone says “she’ll have a face like a painter’s radio” or similar, it means her man will likely be ejaculating all over her. Meant as a compliment but generally not well received.

Pemba · 30/05/2025 23:11

I didn't even get what that meant until I read the second post.

That's really disgusting, and so disrespectful to your friend (and you). What a horrible way to think about women. Are you going to stay with him now you know this?

Burntt · 30/05/2025 23:09

It’s not so much the language that would bother me but I’d never date someone who’s first thought about a woman is how sexually attractive they are in such a demeaning way. You can say someone is beautiful without making it sexual. I’d see this as an indication of how he sees women and dump him personally