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Original poster

Where do you draw the line at crude comments?

109 replies

TruthPrevail · 30/05/2025 22:39

New partner - a bit ‘rough around the edges’ you could say but a lovely man who is caring and has been a gent towards me so far.

He does however have a bit of a habit for some cruder language, let’s just say. I don’t have a huge issue with this per se, and it’s usually when we’ve had a drink or two. So I’ve not said anything to date.

However, we were looking at photos on my phone earlier and he asked ‘who is that’ when pointing out one of my friends he hasn’t seen before. I explained who she is, he asked if she’s in a relationship and I said no but she has a first date coming up.

His reply was something about her date leaving her like a plasterers radio, that’s not the exact quote but something similar.

Would you try to nip his language in the bud or is that seen as a bit ‘controlling’ especially this early in the relationship?

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TwistedWonder · 02/06/2025 14:21

LadyChillT · 02/06/2025 14:19

there's being crude and there's being a cunt. you want a man with the intelligence to know the difference.

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Agree. Blokes at work I can take with a pinch of salt but I wouldn’t date a man who thought this was an acceptable way to speak about any woman .

LadyChillT · 02/06/2025 14:19

TwistedWonder · 02/06/2025 14:01

It’s the sort of crude insane shit blokes say to each other and call it bantaaaaaaaaaa but they need to know their audience and realise it’s not something you say to your gf.

I’ve worked in a very male environment most of my life and I often say ‘do you think I’m someone else’ when they have Inbetweeners style conversations in front of ne

Show quote history

there's being crude and there's being a cunt. you want a man with the intelligence to know the difference.

LadyChillT · 02/06/2025 14:19

TwistedWonder · 02/06/2025 14:01

It’s the sort of crude insane shit blokes say to each other and call it bantaaaaaaaaaa but they need to know their audience and realise it’s not something you say to your gf.

I’ve worked in a very male environment most of my life and I often say ‘do you think I’m someone else’ when they have Inbetweeners style conversations in front of ne

Show quote history

there's being crude and there's being a cunt. you want a man with the intelligence to know the difference.

Raindropsandroses123 · 02/06/2025 14:07

TwistedWonder · 02/06/2025 14:01

It’s the sort of crude insane shit blokes say to each other and call it bantaaaaaaaaaa but they need to know their audience and realise it’s not something you say to your gf.

I’ve worked in a very male environment most of my life and I often say ‘do you think I’m someone else’ when they have Inbetweeners style conversations in front of ne

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and I’m sure they must think you are a barrel of laughs as a result! 😂

TwistedWonder · 02/06/2025 14:01

LadyChillT · 02/06/2025 13:07

how is it hilarious? he's just regurgitating tired old shit he's heard some other wankstain of a man crap out of his mouth

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It’s the sort of crude insane shit blokes say to each other and call it bantaaaaaaaaaa but they need to know their audience and realise it’s not something you say to your gf.

I’ve worked in a very male environment most of my life and I often say ‘do you think I’m someone else’ when they have Inbetweeners style conversations in front of ne

Perhapsanothertime · 02/06/2025 13:15

MaryGreenhill · 30/05/2025 22:54

I don't even know what that means tbh . I asked my DH and he didn't know either .
What does it mean please?

It’s a well known terminology, usually referring to the face, meaning covered in spunk. As a plasterers radio is often covered in splashes of plaster.

I’d heard it before, but it makes me chuckle slightly now that I live with a plasterer and his radio. Lol.

But it seems inappropriate for him to be making such comments about your mates OP.

Raindropsandroses123 · 02/06/2025 13:11

LadyChillT · 02/06/2025 13:07

how is it hilarious? he's just regurgitating tired old shit he's heard some other wankstain of a man crap out of his mouth

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Well that’s funny too!! 😂

LadyChillT · 02/06/2025 13:07

Raindropsandroses123 · 01/06/2025 17:15

Well MN don’t like these comments men make. But they are hilarious and some people are just too serious if they take insult by them!! 😂

how is it hilarious? he's just regurgitating tired old shit he's heard some other wankstain of a man crap out of his mouth

staceyflack · 01/06/2025 19:56

🤮
This is beyond 'rough around the edges' and nothing to do with language. He's immature at best, an utter pig at worst and look at you making excuses for him already and not trusting yourself, and even thinking you might be being controlling. No, no, no. Get rid now... before it gets worse, and you risk becoming convinced you're the problem. 💐

toomuchfaff · 01/06/2025 19:54

If you decide to carry on seeing him, make sure to let your friend know his thoughts on her and how he thinks her first date will end up ..

Labiabella · 01/06/2025 19:40

I laughed.

Sorry.

Missj25 · 01/06/2025 19:36

TruthPrevail · 30/05/2025 22:39

New partner - a bit ‘rough around the edges’ you could say but a lovely man who is caring and has been a gent towards me so far.

He does however have a bit of a habit for some cruder language, let’s just say. I don’t have a huge issue with this per se, and it’s usually when we’ve had a drink or two. So I’ve not said anything to date.

However, we were looking at photos on my phone earlier and he asked ‘who is that’ when pointing out one of my friends he hasn’t seen before. I explained who she is, he asked if she’s in a relationship and I said no but she has a first date coming up.

His reply was something about her date leaving her like a plasterers radio, that’s not the exact quote but something similar.

Would you try to nip his language in the bud or is that seen as a bit ‘controlling’ especially this early in the relationship?

Hey OP …
Aside from the language being 🤮 , that’s really disrespectful to you ..
How hot he finds your friend !
Def wouldn’t sit well with me , any of it ..

bombastix · 01/06/2025 19:25

Well.. if you reckon he doesn’t talk about you like that in future to his mates then I have a bridge to sell you.

Have a care OP, best case is he’s a crude fool. Worst case is you got shit tested and have just failed yourself

TheAverageJoanne · 01/06/2025 19:14

He's disgraceful and it's indicative of who he is and what he thinks about women. Just no.

BuckChuckets · 01/06/2025 19:12

TruthPrevail · 01/06/2025 09:15

I spoke to him about this yesterday and he apologised. He said he was only intending to say my friend looked pretty in a friendly way (which I’d have been fine with), but crossed the line with his comment.

That is NOT the way to say someone looked pretty, what on earth is wrong with him? 😂 Didn't you tell him he was disgusting, talking about jizzing over your friend?

Raindropsandroses123 · 01/06/2025 19:08

It’s all just tongue and cheek guys! It’s a type of humour that may not be to anyone’s taste. Doesn’t mean he disrespects anyone. It’s just playful and might be in line with how they have already been speaking together. If she takes it too seriously then they are not suited.

Catlord · 01/06/2025 18:38

I think it's fine to say 'i'd prefer if you didn't comment sexually on other women' or 'i find it a bit tedious hearing about other women's looks regularly or in detail, especially sexual. You'll notice I don't do that about other men'. Then don't police it, you've drawn a boundary. Just observe it for yourself.

I think it's good you commented. Fine to be a bit bawdy sometimes but that was a bit much about your friend

Circless · 01/06/2025 18:37

And some women are somehow surprised at what they end up with.

Hint...... It's continuing to go out with low life's, despite them showing you EXACTLY who they were early on.

Vulgar pig. But if thats what you like🤷🏻‍♀️

ohyesido · 01/06/2025 18:32

What he said is crass, but also a red flag- is he negging you by making sleazy remarks about fancying your friend?

excelledyourself · 01/06/2025 18:09

However, we were looking at photos on my phone earlier and he asked ‘who is that’ when pointing out one of my friends he hasn’t seen before. I explained who she is, he asked if she’s in a relationship

His comment in any context is pretty disgusting and I’d be wondering what he was saying about you to his mates, if that’s how he speaks to your face about your friend.

But the fact his first question about her was to ask if she was in a relationship and comment on her looks, is also pretty off putting.

How would he take it if you asked if his mate was single and then commented on what a woman would do to him?

JHound · 01/06/2025 18:04

JHound · 01/06/2025 17:49

You glimpsed under the curtain. He will not do a better job of hiding that part of his character till you are too emotionally invested to leave

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I meat he will now do a better job of hiding who he is

Lindajonesjustcantlivemylife · 01/06/2025 17:59

JHound · 01/06/2025 17:39

I don’t even understand what that means and don’t want to.

You cannot police the language of others - just choose what you will be around.

There's an explanation up thread for those who didn't know what it meant.
It's the guys line of thinking that's offensive and the willingness to express it.
Definitely one to throw back.

Moveoverdarlin · 01/06/2025 17:59

I draw the line at knowing the time and place. Plasterer’s radio joke with the lads = funny, with the Mother in-law, no it’s crude and unfunny.

soursopfarm0 · 01/06/2025 17:56

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JadedVeryJaded · 01/06/2025 17:55

Chuck him back OP. He’s disgusting. He only sees women in terms of how shaggable they are.