Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick of everything being about identity

119 replies

CalmMooCowNibbles · 30/05/2025 16:56

Everything seems to be about identity nowadays in Britain. Ethnicity, gender, religion. AIBU? or is anyone else feeling this way? Is this this just life now? Makes me want to run off to Greece and live out the rest of my days in some remote mountain

OP posts:
CharlotteRumpling · 30/05/2025 18:37

Pretty certain OPs identity would become important if she moved to Greece.

CombatBarbie · 30/05/2025 18:35

I remember the days when your identity was about you as a person, what made you...you. Your strengths and weaknesses, your personality.

Glitchymn1 · 30/05/2025 18:25

YANBU I agree- it’s everywhere!

GlasgowRangers · 30/05/2025 18:23

CalmMooCowNibbles · 30/05/2025 16:56

Everything seems to be about identity nowadays in Britain. Ethnicity, gender, religion. AIBU? or is anyone else feeling this way? Is this this just life now? Makes me want to run off to Greece and live out the rest of my days in some remote mountain

Can I ask your identity?

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 30/05/2025 18:20

I do get what you mean a little bit

I'd love to just watch a show without any preachy lessons 🙄🙄 (looking at you, seasons 1&2 of And Just Like That - haven't seen s3 yet but I expect more of the same 😒)

RinklyRomaine · 30/05/2025 18:03

Simonjt · 30/05/2025 17:12

Greek is an identity, something you’re sick of…

Show quote history

No, surely it’s a nationality?

DownsideUpside · 30/05/2025 17:56

YellowOrangePink · 30/05/2025 17:29

Things have changed radically. It's very very low status to care about actual identity, things that are real, sex, nationality, real religion, etc. It's seen as crude, small minded, not cool at best and at worse, considered very dangerous. What has taken off is people obsessing and imposing on other their obsession with identities that are not real, things that they are not. Or even made up ones entirely.

Show quote history

What are made up identities?
One might pose that religion is made up too. Being born on a particular island makes it a “real” identity?
People can and have always identified themselves by various categories “real” or otherwise. In-groups and out-groups in society are all driven by identity. Teacher, millennial, vegan, Tory, West Ham supporter, smoker, doctor, singer, mother, baker, runner, who’s to say which are “real” or made up?

acquiescence · 30/05/2025 17:50

I believe it is promoted by the populist media and politicians as a shift away from community and towards the individual.

A good example is how the trans debate has taken over everything else for some mumsnetters.

Identity politics began as a tool for liberation but has been taken over by the elite. It now often emphasises individual recognition over collective struggle, for example, mumsetters who would choose a right wing representative as the party ‘protects women’ despite the party not protecting the poorest, when its women who suffer the most in poverty. Capitalism benefits by commodifying identity and turning it into a personal brand.

This shift towards the focus of the individual fragments solidarity and weakens movements aimed at systemic change.

asteroidinyourstupidface · 30/05/2025 17:44

burgerflipper97 · 30/05/2025 17:32

Agree. People elsewhere watch all this fuss about men in womens sports utterly appalled and horrified. Anglophone countries used to be the place to be.... not anymore

Show quote history

This simply is not true. Britain is leading the world in the success of our push back against all this shit. Feminists in other countries look at us for hope and inspiration.

Things are a lot worse in a lot of other countries.

Multiplegums · 30/05/2025 17:43

Oh the op has had a crap end to the week and is in an illogical grump!

feelingbleh · 30/05/2025 17:42

iffyi · 30/05/2025 17:07

get off the internet and go outside (in the kindest way possible)

Edited

Exactly this, it's only on the Internet that this stuff is made a big deal and maybe in 12 year olds heads who spend to much time on the Internet. Out here in the real world it's not such a thing

Davros · 30/05/2025 17:42

Presumably the OP’s DH is Greek man. He doesn’t identify as Greek or a man

asteroidinyourstupidface · 30/05/2025 17:41

Genevieva · 30/05/2025 17:16

Aside from the fact that a remote spot is devoid of people, I find the identity obsession is an anglophone phenomenon. Sure you get some of it elsewhere, but not nearly as much.

Show quote history

it really isn't.

NeedAnyHelpWithThatPaperBag · 30/05/2025 17:37

Divide and conquer?

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 30/05/2025 17:34

Maddy70 · 30/05/2025 17:02

It doesnt feature at all In My life why are you this headspace

I wonder if we were to count up the number of your posts on the sex and gender board what that would tell us about how much identity features in your life. 🤔

Soukmyfalafel · 30/05/2025 17:34

You are reading to much shit online. I don't know anyone who talks at length about this, only bigoted people or virtue signallers. I don't have time for anyone at either end of the arguement.

YellowOrangePink · 30/05/2025 17:34

Multiplegums · 30/05/2025 17:22

Good luck there!

Show quote history

Non binary I imagine

hairbearbunches · 30/05/2025 17:33

Can't comment on the rest of the anglosphere but, here in Britain, we focus on all that other stuff so we don't have to address class and what a fucking shit deal the working class have had because the middle class think they've more in common with the folk above than the folk below.

burgerflipper97 · 30/05/2025 17:32

Genevieva · 30/05/2025 17:16

Aside from the fact that a remote spot is devoid of people, I find the identity obsession is an anglophone phenomenon. Sure you get some of it elsewhere, but not nearly as much.

Show quote history

Agree. People elsewhere watch all this fuss about men in womens sports utterly appalled and horrified. Anglophone countries used to be the place to be.... not anymore

CharlotteRumpling · 30/05/2025 17:29

Yes, would love examples.

EatingHealthy · 30/05/2025 17:29

I can't say I recognise this at all, in fact I don't really know what you mean. What is everything? And about identity in what way?

I suspect it's the media you're exposing yourself to. Try reading/ watching/ listening to some better quality stuff

YellowOrangePink · 30/05/2025 17:29

DownsideUpside · 30/05/2025 16:57

It’s probably simpler just to mind your own business.

ps people have always been on about identity, decades of being proud to be British??

Things have changed radically. It's very very low status to care about actual identity, things that are real, sex, nationality, real religion, etc. It's seen as crude, small minded, not cool at best and at worse, considered very dangerous. What has taken off is people obsessing and imposing on other their obsession with identities that are not real, things that they are not. Or even made up ones entirely.

burgerflipper97 · 30/05/2025 17:28

It's the internets fault it makes us package ourselves like products like "I'm asexual, straight, a woman, half white coloniser, five undiagnosed mental illnesses, part time vegan, part time meat eater, Spiritual" Etc.

SeaFloor · 30/05/2025 17:27

Genevieva · 30/05/2025 17:16

Aside from the fact that a remote spot is devoid of people, I find the identity obsession is an anglophone phenomenon. Sure you get some of it elsewhere, but not nearly as much.

Show quote history

I generally find that people who think of things they don’t like as restricted to a particular culture or language have either not spent much time elsewhere or, if they have, just don’t speak the language or languages well enough to understand the issues in their new place.

Multiplegums · 30/05/2025 17:22

Comeonelmo · 30/05/2025 17:20

Can we get examples op?

Good luck there!

Swipe left for the next trending thread