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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this rude…

83 replies

curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 16:10

Our new neighbours have a child who my son plays with outside in the communal garden. Today the mum came to ask me something, my son opened the door (he’s almost 12) and shouted for me that Nadia (fake name) was at the door. By the time I’d got to the hallway, she was inside my home almost in my lounge!! She entered my home without being invited and I felt really uncomfortable, as I’ve only met her once before shortly after they moved in a few weeks ago…
Am I BU to find this rude???

If so, advice on how to tackle this!?!?

OP posts:
EuclidianGeometryFan · 30/05/2025 18:55

toomuchfaff · 30/05/2025 16:19

It's your issue to teach your child how to answer a door and what to do in each scenario (stranger, known, salesman, cold caller).

Its also up to you to determine if they child is knowledgeable enough to handle the responsibility of answering the door.

Its not the responsibility of the person knocking on your door to know your boundaries. The issue lies with you.

This.
Teach your child to say "Please come in, I'll just get Mum", for anyone he or you know even a little, or alternatively for complete strangers "Please wait a moment, I'll just get Mum" then to shut the door so that the stranger can't enter.

Ketzele · 30/05/2025 18:44

I don't find it 'rude' as such, because people have different cultural and family norms and there isn't a universally recognised rule about this. I can see why you didn't much like it, but find it a bit odd that you and your dh are actually disturbed by it.

SALaw · 30/05/2025 18:12

I’d write her a letter and put it through her door telling her never to do that again. Either that, or I’d not give it a moment’s thought.

ginasevern · 30/05/2025 18:09

"I just felt really uncomfortable and so did my husband"

Unless there was something decidedly dodgy about Nadia like she was drunk or stoned or I happened to be in my underwear when she walked in - I really don't think most people would be that uncomfortable about this. I mean, you kind off know her, she isn't a complete stranger or a door to door salesman/Jehova's Witness or something. Was she touching things in your living room or having a good nose around, or was she just standing there waiting for you?

DarkHollowTree · 30/05/2025 17:56

Tackle her? I'd say get yourself into a strong rugby squat and charge!! In the future try doing the hakka before she can enter just to make your point 🤔🤣

Penthrowingsurvivor · 30/05/2025 17:55

curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 17:52

Thank you! I didn’t mean tackle her in a rude way, I meant how can I prevent this situation happening again. I’m also not stealing mad, I just felt really uncomfortable and so did my husband😅

Show quote history

if you are that bothered, answer the door yourself and ... don't let her in?

How do people manage in life I'll never know.

tuvamoodyson · 30/05/2025 17:54

Take that Nadia!

Will Smith GIF
Original poster
curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 17:52

ginasevern · 30/05/2025 17:42

Personally yes, if I was "Nadia" I would have waited for an adult to come to the door and invite me in. However, if I was the OP I would absolutely not tackle Nadia (what the hell would you even say to her!) and I certainly wouldn't be steaming mad about the whole thing.

Thank you! I didn’t mean tackle her in a rude way, I meant how can I prevent this situation happening again. I’m also not stealing mad, I just felt really uncomfortable and so did my husband😅

OP posts:
Original poster
curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 17:52

Tagyoureit · 30/05/2025 17:35

Well at least you now have confirmation that she is not a vampire!

And you are truly over thinking this

😂😂😂😂😂 thank you!

OP posts:
feelingbleh · 30/05/2025 17:46

Yanbu its weird and i wouldnt do it but I also wouldn't do anything about it as i don't think its a massive deal

ginasevern · 30/05/2025 17:42

Personally yes, if I was "Nadia" I would have waited for an adult to come to the door and invite me in. However, if I was the OP I would absolutely not tackle Nadia (what the hell would you even say to her!) and I certainly wouldn't be steaming mad about the whole thing.

Tagyoureit · 30/05/2025 17:35

Well at least you now have confirmation that she is not a vampire!

And you are truly over thinking this

KrisAkabusi · 30/05/2025 17:31

Your son let her in!

wobblybrain · 30/05/2025 17:21

Nicebottleofred · 30/05/2025 16:15

I don’t think that’s rude, if a child you know opens the door you go in and shut the door behind you so the child is not hanging around the open doorway.

Edited

What do you think would happen to an 11 year old at their own front door?

JellyAnd · 30/05/2025 17:20

I wouldn’t have walked in myself unless invited but equally I wouldn’t think twice that a neighbour whose son is a friend of your son, so hardly a random stranger, came into your hallway because I’m guessing that ‘almost in your lounge’ is only a few steps from your front door because communal garden doesn’t exactly scream massive countryside pile. It’s a total non issue.

Enrichetta · 30/05/2025 17:11

What’s the appropriate response in Mumsnet speak…….. unclench?

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 30/05/2025 16:55

I said yabu for finding it rude. At worst its an awkward moment, maybe she wasn't sure where to stand

Did your son say 'come in'?

Jellyrols · 30/05/2025 16:41

Absolutely rude to enter without being asked.
Are you sure your 12 year old didn't ask her to step in?
If not, yes she was rude.

ItsUpToYou · 30/05/2025 16:39

I think it depends on your community. Where I live (estate in London), it would be very unusual. We don’t know our neighbours like that and even the ones who we do know probably wouldn’t come right in. But if you live in somewhere that’s more community focused, generally all come from similar cultural backgrounds therefore generally know each other’s norms and expectations, I’d imagine it’s not so unusual.

arcticpandas · 30/05/2025 16:39

Personally I wouldn't have entered the house but at the same token I wouldn't have given it second thoughts if a neighbour mum went in after having been let in by my son.

Sasha07 · 30/05/2025 16:38

She should have waited unless your child had specifically said to come in. I know my neighbour extremely well but we still wait on the doorstep unless invited in! I find southerners are more forward than northerners though. Not saying that's this in this situation but my southern friends are a different kettle of fish to the locals 🤣

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/05/2025 16:34

curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 16:21

Okay I see a lot of people find it ok for people they don’t know to enter their homes, that’s fine!!😂 But I personally would have waited at the door for a parent to come to speak to me. So maybe that’s why I found it rude😅

No, it's a little bit odd, but not something I'd get worked up about, unless it was a total stranger, but it wasn't, was it?

toomuchfaff · 30/05/2025 16:32

curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 16:21

Okay I see a lot of people find it ok for people they don’t know to enter their homes, that’s fine!!😂 But I personally would have waited at the door for a parent to come to speak to me. So maybe that’s why I found it rude😅

yeah but you don't know if the child basically left the door ajar and walked away shouting you basically insinuating to come in...

Penthrowingsurvivor · 30/05/2025 16:27

she was inside my home almost in my lounge!!

how big is your house?
If you have a McMansion and she had to do a 5mn walk to almost reach the lounge, yes, it's weird.

If you have a bog-standard 4 bed detached and being "almost in the lounge" but not quite, means she did 2 steps after someone answered the door, you are being ridiculous. She wasn't selling insurance, was she? You have kids playing together.

Original poster
curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 16:21

Okay I see a lot of people find it ok for people they don’t know to enter their homes, that’s fine!!😂 But I personally would have waited at the door for a parent to come to speak to me. So maybe that’s why I found it rude😅

OP posts:
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