Womens Gynae is still barbaric

Delboy.. I am so sorry too.

I'm so sorry you had to endure that

@ellie09 OP - that sounds so horrible - but sadly I’m not surprised. I have heard a story very similar to yours after confessing to a friend that I found the whole process of getting an IUD fitted rather difficult. I’m sorry.

My smear tests felt like razor blades.

It's very poor overall isn't it. I've always found smear tests excruciating - not grin and bear it, but genuinely excruciating, and all the 'its better than cancer' comments I've had in the past were of no use and why are we still grinning and bearing it anyway? Because some other women wear their pain-free experiences like a badge of honour? It wasn't until my first smear post-pregnancy at about 38 years old that I was informed it was most likely painful, at least partially, because I've got a tilted cervix. All these years and nobody thought to tell me a basic thing about my own anatomy.

Agreed. It baffles me that screening is still pushed so much, because it absolutely does not "save lives".
I signed the form to opt out of mammograms 10 years ago, with no regrets.
A friend of mine has just had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy following a mammogram, so I don't dare raise my opinion in her presence. She views it as a success, as the cancer is gone, but who knows whether the stress and physical pain and discomfort was actually worth it?

I had this procedure 20+ years ago - twice. There was no blood and no pain. It was all very relaxed and straightforward, so much so that I went prepared with a joke for the consultant on the second occasion.
The point being that not every experience is the same, and making out that it is "barbaric" won't be very encouraging for other women.

Your experience was bad but that doesn’t mean all women’s gynae healthcare in the UK is barbaric.

Absolutely Im not having a breast of mine removed or gruelling chemo unless its absolutely necessary which is the way it should be.

I don’t see how the NHS think this is acceptable, 4000 women a year “offered treatment” which sounds really benign and harmless but that treatment actually means partial or full mastectomies, chemotherapy, radiation, lifelong medication plus the mental trauma and they never needed any “treatment” at all, I find it utterly shocking and yet somehow this goes completely under the radar. A few weeks ago the NHS were running a campaign on here saying “breast screening saves lives” no mention of the lives they ruin.

@RedToothBrush I was supposed to go for a mammogram last Tuesday but cancelled it after reading the leaflet they sent. Weighing it up 4000 false positives a year is way too high.

yes, i’ve lost count over the number of times i’ve been told by male doctors to “ just relax my dear”
Aged 68, I’m only going to see female gynaes in future ( if i’m paying I mean, obv no choice in NHS)
Anyone who has ever given birth in Portsmouth in the 80’s or 90’s may recall the wonderfully kind late Mr Kettle. Male staff could have learned a lot from him

My last smear was extremely painful. The nurse was wonderful and tried her best, said she could stop but I told her to just get it done. It was never painful before (I’m a widow and have not been sexually active for years, had sections so not experienced a vaginal birth, and post menopause guess everything was pretty tight). She suggested a hormone cream to use before next time. She treated me with concern and respect.
I’ve had the same experience with mammograms. While not painful it is uncomfortable from a physical and personal space point of view, but the nurses have always explained exactly what they are doing and have been as gentle as possible.
However I can well imagine how a less caring approach and perfunctory exam could be painful and humiliating. We are at our most vulnerable during gynaecological exams. I would not want a man doing one as I feel they couldn’t know what I am experiencing. Explaining exactly what they are doing and why should be normal. Definitely more training in patient interaction is needed.
Interestingly enough the medical profession is aware of this lack. Not specific to gynaecology but I know an actor who runs workshops at hospitals with other actors as patients to help train medical staff on this. He says the staff find it very helpful (and keeps a few actors employed too)!
We must advocate for ourselves, and I did have to point out to a A&E doc doing an exam on my DD , when he said his tests were NOT confirming her complaint, that as she said she was experiencing numbness is was quite possible that her complaint of lack of strength (and his denying this was the case) was exactly because she couldn’t feel it! (To give the doc credit, he did refer her for further tests and she was eventually diagnosed with MS). I should also mention that my husband also felt dismissed and patronised the few times he had to go in for tests and at A&E, but he didn’t have his legs in the air with someone’s hands up his insides!

Error double post

When I say complain, I also mean to the police. Assault is assault whether it’s carried out by a stranger in the street or a ‘medical professional’.

I have a friend who starts all her procedures ( she has ongoing gynae issues) with a discussion with the staff - ‘ As a lawyer forgive me but I’ve seen some bad practice. Just checking you’re all familiar with the law and understand that if I say ‘stop’ you
must stop as soon as it’s safe to do so. Criminal assault is no joke’. 😬😁

I was the 1% who fell pregnant with a mirena coil. In hospital the gynaecologist was so rough a nurse intervened. I found and thanked her later The system is unpleasant and still female biology is shrouded in mystery. We are people and our exceptional abilities need to be understood more

I also have had biopsies without anaesthetic. I was the last appointment of the day and the clinic had overrun. I saw a rough and impatient Gynae Registrar. The nurse kept apologising during the procedure as she could see the doctor getting annoyed as I wasn't "relaxing" and it was making the procedure more difficult. I hadn't received any indication in the appointment letter that there would be a procedure so I thought it was an outpatient appointment so hadn't even taken any pain killers beforehand. For rest of the day, I had searing aftershock pains.

.

I've given birth via vagina. Unfortunately I fell pregnant again and decided to have a termination and had a copper coil placed while I was knocked out.

Getting the coil out at the Dr's was horrific. Worse pain than my entire labour I swear which lasted hours. I had another coil placed at same appointment.

I was shaking, pale and threw up in the car. DH was driving.

2nd coil out, painkillers, numbing gel on cervix. No 3rd coil put in. I threw in the nurses sink.

I'm fine with smears, but anything occurs in the future gynae wise, I'd be asking for sedation. Imagine if I puked during a procedure. Plus my BP would be dangerously high.

I found the least kind group of doctors I've come across were the young female doctors in a children's hospital. The kindest doctor there was a young man who was about 6'6" and big with it. He looked quite scary but was so kind and gentle .

I'm. Not sure it is always better for men. One of my kids had an op when they were 12. Nurse came to get me to go into the recovery area and asked me to calm them down as the screaming was frightening.

Men were being wheeled in from theatre moaning with legs akimbo so assumed theyd had the equivalent of a gynse op (is there a name for that.). The nurses were laughing and making inappropriate comments, I think they'd forgotten I was there. There was definitely no kindness or consideration going on.

I absolutely agree re: gynaecology procedures. Worse, it is often females medics who bully and minimise :-(

this ‘grin and bare it’ attitude does extend beyond gynaecology though. My husband underwent an endoscopy with no sedation or GA, just a quick spray on his throat. He was given a leaflet telling him that this was the norm and most people tolerate this well. He was also told that he would have to wait months for sedation or GA and this was only an option under exceptional circumstances. Add in he was freelance and needed to work the rest of the day and that was it. A friend in a different area was given sedation as a matter of course and couldn’t believe it was done differently elsewhere.

That's awful. My DD had an op at 18. We arrived to see her when we were told she was back on the ward. Her Consultant was sitting on her bed holding her hand when got there. He said she was his youngest patient that day and he didn't want to leave her until we got there. When the NHS does well it really does do well.

I hope everything is ok with you now.

When I had a MMC at 12 weeks the (male) doctor told me that the medical option would be like a heavy period, so I chose that as I didn't want to go away and wait for surgery. It was horrendous, and I really hope no one has periods like that.

I later had retained tissue and had the MVA surgical option rather than D&C so was awake for the procedure with gas and air. Blood all over the floor. And the (male) doctor commented that it's really just cells at that point, not a baby...

I’m sorry that you had a horrible experience and I agree women are expected to put up and shut up. I remember having the coil fitted when I was I was in my early 20s and it was so horrendously painful I went into shock. Childbirth was long and extremely painful with a back to back delivery and of course, pain relief was refused. A male doctor stuck almost his whole hand up my back passage without warning - I will never have another baby again.