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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have released this cat

64 replies

idonethisthing · 29/05/2025 20:44

I did something on the spur of the moment and now I’m wondering if I was in fact wrong to do what I did.

I went round to the house of a family on my street the other day to let them know that their dog had escaped and was running maniacally towards the woods. Someone in the household then wandered off to find the errant dog.
i was then talking to the woman of the household on the doorstep when she said ‘guess what’s in there?’ and pointed to her downstairs loo (Our houses are identikit new builds so i know exactly what the room looks like. It’s 1.5 meters by 1 meter with a loo and a sink only. Tiled floor) Then she said she’s got a stray cat in there. I asked what cat and she described a local very distinctive cat and said he’d been in there for four days and she was going to take him to the vets.
When she went back inside I waited and then opened the front door quietly and unlocked the loo and released the cat. Was I wrong? I feel bad, but I can’t see on our local Facebook groups that she made any attempt to find the owners of this cat and four days locked in the little loo seems rather cruel to me. Was I wrong? If the cat needed help then there are people you can call. There’s no need to wait four days if you have the animals best interests at heart, surely? You don’t just go around picking up random cats that you think need help and then shoving them in a cupboard until you get round to it.
I’ve got a strong feeling she knows it was me because you had to physically unlock to toilet door from the outside so it didn’t happen accidentally. I’m hoping she confronts me soon so I can stop stressing about it!

OP posts:
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willowbuffytara · 01/06/2025 02:02

Cats seem to bring out the worst in people sometimes
all the local FB groups with “looks lost” when cat is just out for a stroll or sunbathing happily. Like they do go for walks!

mine got spotted by one of those people who messaged the local cat woman. Cat woman messaged me and said “I’ve had a report of a scruffy cat sauntering across the zebra crossing. I take it yours is out for a walk? Because the minute she said sauntering I knew which cat it was” BlushGrin

idonethisthing · 01/06/2025 00:40

God….reading my posts it seems mental, but if only you lot knew. 🥺 The things we’ve experienced living alongside this family. Last month I was returning home from walking the dog and the swaying drunk mother came outside and was telling me all about how she’s been ‘fucking some girl’ she met in the pub and needs to have a word with her husband because the swinging lifestyle isn’t working out. It’s none of my business what they do behind closed doors but I was 😱at the volume of her voice discussing such sensitive matters to a practical stranger with people’s windows open.

OP posts:
idonethisthing · 01/06/2025 00:05

Melonsormangos · 31/05/2025 23:54

Oh wow that’s crazy, I think you did a brave thing but unfortunately there are consequences. Hopefully police won’t take it further after they’ve had a word with you

I was taking to my husband on the phone about this earlier and he pointed out that we have Ring Doorbell footage of her entering our home without our consent. I don’t think for a second that what she did was with malicious intent, but she knows our key ‘hiding’ place and I shared that video to him via WhatsApp almost a year ago saying ‘can you believe her?!’ I had to message my eldest daughter, who was closest to our house at the time and ask her to go home and politely tell this person to leave our house.
She sent me a WhatsApp the day BEFORE I released the cat asking if she can come round to ‘help’ me. I didn’t reply. I sound horrible now, I’m aware, but I have four children and a baby and my home is immaculate. I’ve got my shit together. Her place is a dump. They can barely open the front door for all the junk.

Urgh. I feel like I’ve conducted myself quite badly, overall. But I still strongly feel that authorities wouldn’t give a toss and meanwhile an animal was lingering, probably terrified in what amounts to a cupboard for four days and four nights.

I’m more than happy for the police to pop round because I still firmly believe I was acting in the cats best interests, and I’d be okay with all consequences of that. I just don’t like arguing with neighbours.

OP posts:
Melonsormangos · 31/05/2025 23:54

Oh wow that’s crazy, I think you did a brave thing but unfortunately there are consequences. Hopefully police won’t take it further after they’ve had a word with you

idonethisthing · 31/05/2025 23:53

BrieHugger · 31/05/2025 00:26

Why didn’t you say “oh it sounds like Tigger from number 34, you need to let him out as they’ll be worried”. If she refused to I’d tell the cat’s owner where he was.

This is the obvious thing to do, but she’s been trying (and I don’t know how successfully) to capture cats for her special loo rehabilitation for ages. If I’d said this she may well have just doubled down and taken the cat to a place I’d never be able to release it.
And there’s also the fact that I don’t know where this cat lives. I just know it’s loved, because it’s beautiful and well fed.

OP posts:
idonethisthing · 31/05/2025 23:50

So there have been some developments. There was a Facebook post and a enquiry on our local group about how they report someone for ‘braking in to my house’. They know it was me and I subsequently admitted it. There was some name calling and they told me I’m insane and that they’re calling the police on me to report me for breaking and entering.
I’m actually looking forward to that visit from the Old Bill. 😌 But otherwise things haven’t been pleasant today. I’ve hung around in my garden, played outside with my children and just tried to carry on as normal, whilst they’ve stayed indoors in this glorious weather. That makes me feel a bit bad to be honest.

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lljkk · 31/05/2025 09:03

idonethisthing · 29/05/2025 22:01

Yes she said that he’s matted and in pain and bleeding as a result. He isn’t! I’ve stroked him many times. I think he’s a Maine Coon cross, he’s gorgeous. And his coat is luxurious. When I let him out I gave him a quick once over and he’s good!

some ppl (not OP) are nuts

BrieHugger · 31/05/2025 00:26

Why didn’t you say “oh it sounds like Tigger from number 34, you need to let him out as they’ll be worried”. If she refused to I’d tell the cat’s owner where he was.

caringcarer · 31/05/2025 00:19

TatteredAndTorn · 29/05/2025 23:31

Well done you. Wtf does that? Keep an eye on her. I’d find out who the Maine coon’s owner was and let then know in case she does it again! I’d also let as many people know as I could locally in case any other pets go missing.

Yes definitely alert the cats owner if you know them.

Sansan18 · 30/05/2025 23:14

You liberated a cat which had been imprisoned by this woman.People need to seriously re examine their attitudes to cats who can live a perfectly ok existence in urban areas.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 30/05/2025 23:05

Very awkward situation. She sounds completely unhinged. I’d be wary of what she’d do if you reported it. At least she doesn’t necessarily know it was you. I think you probably did the right thing.

idonethisthing · 30/05/2025 22:27

GasPanic · 30/05/2025 12:25

IMO something best left to and reported to the authorities rather than becoming a have a go hero.

I'm pretty sure that if it were acceptable behaviour then there would be a large number of loonies walking about setting animals free from peoples property "because it was humane to do so", this sometimes being done for legitimate and justifiable reasons, and sometimes for reasons a lot less legitimate depending on how crazy the animal freer actually is.

So you think I should have turned a blind eye and let the cat stay captive?

Interesting. You. Not me.

OP posts:
GasPanic · 30/05/2025 12:25

IMO something best left to and reported to the authorities rather than becoming a have a go hero.

I'm pretty sure that if it were acceptable behaviour then there would be a large number of loonies walking about setting animals free from peoples property "because it was humane to do so", this sometimes being done for legitimate and justifiable reasons, and sometimes for reasons a lot less legitimate depending on how crazy the animal freer actually is.

Caerulea · 30/05/2025 12:18

idonethisthing · 30/05/2025 10:19

Yeah, it’s one of those locks on all newer house loo doors. You can use a coin or something similar to turn it from the outside. I didn’t have anything like that to hand but managed to turn it by just gripping it really tightly. It made a really loud clunk when it opened. 🤦‍♀️ I thought ‘shit, she’ll definitely have heard that’ so got a move on and got out of there fast.

Ahhh gotcha! That makes far more sense than the bolt I was thinking of 🤦🏼‍♀️

idonethisthing · 30/05/2025 10:19

Caerulea · 30/05/2025 08:50

Definitely did the right thing! Not sure why cats bring out the worst in people? Stealing them or deliberately leaving them in sheds to die?!

If it wasn't for the fact our cat couldn't give a shiny shit about anyone other than 15yo DS I'd worry about someone pinching him cos he's so unusual looking.

All that aside...a lock on the outside of a toilet door?

Yeah, it’s one of those locks on all newer house loo doors. You can use a coin or something similar to turn it from the outside. I didn’t have anything like that to hand but managed to turn it by just gripping it really tightly. It made a really loud clunk when it opened. 🤦‍♀️ I thought ‘shit, she’ll definitely have heard that’ so got a move on and got out of there fast.

OP posts:
hereismydog · 30/05/2025 09:29

Caerulea · 30/05/2025 08:50

Definitely did the right thing! Not sure why cats bring out the worst in people? Stealing them or deliberately leaving them in sheds to die?!

If it wasn't for the fact our cat couldn't give a shiny shit about anyone other than 15yo DS I'd worry about someone pinching him cos he's so unusual looking.

All that aside...a lock on the outside of a toilet door?

Probably a lock with a slot on the outside that you can lock/unlock with a coin!

Caerulea · 30/05/2025 08:50

Definitely did the right thing! Not sure why cats bring out the worst in people? Stealing them or deliberately leaving them in sheds to die?!

If it wasn't for the fact our cat couldn't give a shiny shit about anyone other than 15yo DS I'd worry about someone pinching him cos he's so unusual looking.

All that aside...a lock on the outside of a toilet door?

idonethisthing · 30/05/2025 08:25

I didn’t confront her there and then because I know she does this sort of thing fairly often. I saw her just a week or so ago scouting around down the river bank. She said she’d found an injured cat and was trying to entice it out with some cat meat. I said I’d knock on the doors of the houses nearby and she looked genuinely annoyed. Anyway, both houses I knocked at said the cat was owned and they’d let the owner know immediately. She left it alone, albeit reluctantly. I saw the cat briefly and although I can’t be certain, it didn’t look injured to me. No limp, as she claimed and no swollen head or skinned ear.

Confronting her at the time would probably have meant she just shut the door in my face and kept an eye out for me trying to release the cat. As it stood she went back inside oblivious, and I had my opportunity.

OP posts:
sameshizz · 30/05/2025 07:55

There are some absolute nutters around when it comes to cats . I used to work next to a shop which was next to a nice housing estate. A healthy rotund cat with a collar from the estate used to hang around the shop regularly as people would give him treats when they came out. I had to stop a woman one day putting him in her car as she was going to take him. His owners would no doubt have been devastated when he didn’t come home . I’ve had a few friends who have had cats stolen by neighbours , the neighbours have brought the cats back when they needed a vet however 😒

Pabbel · 30/05/2025 07:48

Hopefully the cat is safely back home now, you did the right thing letting it out.

WhereIsMyJumper · 30/05/2025 07:42

OCDmama · 29/05/2025 22:29

The only thing YBU about was not confronting the woman.

This.
If it was me I would have said “oh I know that cat, he is a very well looked after local pet. You need to just let him out so he can go home as I’m sure his owners are missing him”

Why people would choose to just walk in to someone’s house and release him by stealth rather than just saying something to her?!

Whyherewego · 30/05/2025 07:33

If you rescue a cat and you have existing pets you need to have it in a separate room. So that's fairly normal
She does sound batshit though. Personally that was a high risk strategy, I'd have simply said that I'd take it to the vet for her there and then

Hallywally · 30/05/2025 07:27

Maine Coons are expensive- she probably stole him.

K0OLA1D · 30/05/2025 06:23

Defo did the right thing. You have guts op!!

Flipslop · 30/05/2025 06:19

Not all heros wear capes