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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that women (or men) who drop their kids off at school in PJS, go shopping in Tesco in pj's and come down to the breakfast in a hotel in pj's are wrong in the head?

784 replies

YourAmplePlumPoster · 29/05/2025 19:22

I visited Amsterdam last year and was shocked to see an apparently middle class women coming down to breakfast in her pj's,dressing gown and slippers. Similarly going round Tescos where there are people, especially women in pj's and slippers. No doubt I'll be called an old right wing fascist or something.

OP posts:
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IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 01/06/2025 07:23

ButteredRadishes · 01/06/2025 07:13

Because odd means unusual ... It's an odd /unusual choice to go out in pyjamas, just as it's odd to go out in a tutu and vest...

So.... It is strange to actively choose to wear pyjamas as day clothes when out and about.

In your opinion.

You've been given lots of reasons why people will choose to and just continued to judge for no reason other than you don't like it.

I'm sure you do things that other people consider odd, let's hope you're lucky enough to people who are happy to just let you be you around you, rather than other people like you.

I've also seen more people out in tutu's than pjs, for some styles they're quite common, so I'm not sure you are the authority on what "odd" is.

ButteredRadishes · 01/06/2025 07:13

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 01/06/2025 06:50

Why.? Why is it odd?

Saying "but is IS" isn't a reason.

I expect better answers from my three year old than you give.

Because odd means unusual ... It's an odd /unusual choice to go out in pyjamas, just as it's odd to go out in a tutu and vest...

So.... It is strange to actively choose to wear pyjamas as day clothes when out and about.

Needmorelego · 01/06/2025 07:01

@ButteredRadishes I find it odd that some people choose to wear high heels. Why on earth would someone want to walk with their feet in an unnatural position?
Does their shoe choice affect me?
Do I care?
No to both.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 01/06/2025 06:50

ButteredRadishes · 01/06/2025 06:36

Because it is odd to actively choose to wear pyjamas, just as it would be odd to choose to wear a nightie or a onesie or a wetsuit or whatever.

Why.? Why is it odd?

Saying "but is IS" isn't a reason.

I expect better answers from my three year old than you give.

ButteredRadishes · 01/06/2025 06:36

BeanQuisine · 01/06/2025 03:59

You keep repeating "it's an odd choice" but you have yet to explain what you think is wrong about people making choices that you find odd.

In an ostensibly free country, people should surely be free to be as harmlessly "odd" as they wish.

Because it is odd to actively choose to wear pyjamas, just as it would be odd to choose to wear a nightie or a onesie or a wetsuit or whatever.

BeanQuisine · 01/06/2025 03:59

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 18:58

It doesn't affect me.

It it is an odd choice.

You keep repeating "it's an odd choice" but you have yet to explain what you think is wrong about people making choices that you find odd.

In an ostensibly free country, people should surely be free to be as harmlessly "odd" as they wish.

fiveIsNewOne · 01/06/2025 03:37

YourAmplePlumPoster · 29/05/2025 19:28

How does a child feel being dropped off at school by a parent who can't even make an effort to look presentable. Personally, I don't go out unless I have make up on and am wearing jewellery and nice clothes. What's wrong with that?

What is it teaching your child, especially a possible daughter, if their mum wouldn't go out without makeup and jewellery? Sounds very looks-conscious and a rather bad example, just of a different kind.

TheOriginalEmu · 01/06/2025 02:09

Daybrake · 31/05/2025 10:43

This is bare minimum you don’t deserve any kudos for getting your child to school.

We all pay taxes so all children have the opportunity to get an education. This also enables parents to work or get some time to do themselves or whatever they spend their day doing.

In some countries children - especially girls - don’t have that opportunity for an education . And a lot of parents really struggled with children at home during lockdown.

You should be grateful if anything, for being able to drop your kids off for 6 hours a day! not thinking you’ve achieved some great feat because you dropped off your kids in PJs.

Get changed, washed your face and do better. Raise your bar! Being slightly less worse than the strange guy in Tesco wearing swimming shorts is no flex either.

Edited

You should be grateful that you clearly have never had a disability or illness that means doing that bare minimum is 100% a flex.
I drove my childreb to work/college/day centre last week for the first time in 2 years. This has been a massive achievement for me that I often didn’t think I’d ever do again.

OonaStubbs · 01/06/2025 00:39

Pyjamas are nightware. I have never seen a man out in PJs so I don't see why it is acceptable for women. It's just lazy and slovenly.

GlomOfNit · 01/06/2025 00:20

I loathe it in shops or on the school run (if you get out of your car...) but ... having thought about it...

I do myself often walk down the garden in my Pjs and out onto the back lane. It gives onto a field and a few other houses' drives give onto the same lane. It's not at all uncommon for me to see neighbours passing on the lane (dog walk, etc) while I've drifted down the garden to look into the field/take a photo of the sunrise/etc). So is that skanky? Grin It really doesn't feel skanky (and my PJs are nice traditional button-up and not slovenly ones) but maybe my neighbours secretly think I'm letting the entire road down. I've been known to pop out of the front door to get a package/put something in the wheely bin in PJs too.

And camping, I just feel it's part of acceptable camping etiquette to wear your PJs out of the tent to the loos/shower block etc. And at festivals if going to the loo. Isn't it?

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 31/05/2025 22:15

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:39

You say that as though it's perfectly acceptable to wear pyjamas out of the house...

When it clearly isn't.

But pyjamas are just clothes?

I wouldn’t go out wearing something I’ve worn to bed (and I don’t personally find pyjamas comfortable, so I’m not one of the people in supermarkets you’re complaining about as I don’t even own a pair), but why is it less acceptable to go out in (clean) pyjamas than in (clean) joggers and a T shirt? If clothes are clean and cover what needs to be covered, the rest is surely just marketing.

XenoBitch · 31/05/2025 22:02

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:51

Oh so there's no fucking reason then...

They just want to wear pyjamas out and about.

They could wear day clothes, they just don't want to... So, again it remains an odd choice.

A disabled person has explained why they find PJs more comfortable to wear when out.
They didn't ask for your advice on how to buy day wear or whatever.
And again, how does it affect you?

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:51

XenoBitch · 31/05/2025 21:48

And has been explained to you, they find PJs particularly comfortable.
Again, what real impact does it have on you?

Oh so there's no fucking reason then...

They just want to wear pyjamas out and about.

They could wear day clothes, they just don't want to... So, again it remains an odd choice.

XenoBitch · 31/05/2025 21:48

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:45

Well, if they're going out in their PJs, presumably at some point they have changed into clean ones in the morning, and changing into non-outdoor PJs/others before going back to bed?
... So why the need to go OUT in PJ's in the first place? If they're changing into clean PJs to go out, they can surely change into clean day clothes of similar ease and comfort?

Edited

And has been explained to you, they find PJs particularly comfortable.
Again, what real impact does it have on you?

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:45

XenoBitch · 31/05/2025 21:42

I think if someone with disabilities is telling yo that that going out in their Pjs is what works for them to be able to get out and feel comfortable, then you damn well listen to them.
Them out in PJs has no impact on you.

Well, if they're going out in their PJs, presumably at some point they have changed into clean ones in the morning, and changing into non-outdoor PJs/others before going back to bed?
... So why the need to go OUT in PJ's in the first place? If they're changing into clean PJs to go out, they can surely change into clean day clothes of similar ease and comfort?

XenoBitch · 31/05/2025 21:42

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:39

You say that as though it's perfectly acceptable to wear pyjamas out of the house...

When it clearly isn't.

I think if someone with disabilities is telling yo that that going out in their Pjs is what works for them to be able to get out and feel comfortable, then you damn well listen to them.
Them out in PJs has no impact on you.

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:39

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 31/05/2025 21:36

I think the point is that you can use pyjamas as day clothes but you can’t use day clothes as pyjamas.

So you could get 4 sets of clothes that could be used for anything, or 2 sets that could be used for anything and 2 sets that can only be used for a more specific thing.

Edited

You say that as though it's perfectly acceptable to wear pyjamas out of the house...

When it clearly isn't.

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 31/05/2025 21:36

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:33

You make no sense.

4 pairs of pyjamas are the same amount as 2 pairs of pyjamas and 2 sets of day clothes.

I think the point is that you can use pyjamas as day clothes but you can’t use day clothes as pyjamas.

So you could get 4 sets of clothes that could be used for anything, or 2 sets that could be used for anything and 2 sets that can only be used for a more specific thing.

XenoBitch · 31/05/2025 21:34

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:33

You make no sense.

4 pairs of pyjamas are the same amount as 2 pairs of pyjamas and 2 sets of day clothes.

FFS does it matter?

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 21:33

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 31/05/2025 19:16

Because you could buy 4 pairs of pjs for £96 and use them for both sleeping and day time. They wash you know. Wear them for whatever you need, whenever you need them, doesn't matter on the time of day or how you're feeling (too fatigued to pop a wash on one day maybe?).

Whereas having separate clothes for day and night means you need double the items. In case you're too unwell to do laundry.

You really don't understand some illnesses or disabilities.

You make no sense.

4 pairs of pyjamas are the same amount as 2 pairs of pyjamas and 2 sets of day clothes.

Needmorelego · 31/05/2025 19:33

@ButteredRadishes I have two pairs of very similar bottoms.
Elastic waist. Black with a white pattern. Loose cool material.
One pair came from the nightwear department of Primark, the other the trouser section of Peacocks.
They are virtually identical.
So by your thinking if I go out in one pair I'm fine, the other pair I'm a lazy grubby slob?
But which pair is which?
I actually can't remember 😂

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 31/05/2025 19:16

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 19:00

How in earth is buying 2 pairs of pyjamas at £24 each some how cheaper than 1 pair of pyjamas at £24 and an day clothes outfit at £24... ?

Edited

Because you could buy 4 pairs of pjs for £96 and use them for both sleeping and day time. They wash you know. Wear them for whatever you need, whenever you need them, doesn't matter on the time of day or how you're feeling (too fatigued to pop a wash on one day maybe?).

Whereas having separate clothes for day and night means you need double the items. In case you're too unwell to do laundry.

You really don't understand some illnesses or disabilities.

XenoBitch · 31/05/2025 19:06

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 19:00

How in earth is buying 2 pairs of pyjamas at £24 each some how cheaper than 1 pair of pyjamas at £24 and an day clothes outfit at £24... ?

Edited

How on earth is it any of your business?

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 31/05/2025 19:05

YourAmplePlumPoster · 30/05/2025 14:11

What bad habits? Anyway talking of bad habits:
www.thesun.co.uk/travel/6193542/tourists-wearing-pyjamas-hotel-breakfast/
I rest my case. Gross,

Yes, using dodgy newspapers to try and back up your argument is definitely a bad habit. I think most people would agree with that.

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 19:00

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 31/05/2025 18:20

But you're still having to pay for double the clothes....if it's a cost thing, that does not help.

Stop being judgemental and let people make their own choices for what works for them.

How in earth is buying 2 pairs of pyjamas at £24 each some how cheaper than 1 pair of pyjamas at £24 and an day clothes outfit at £24... ?